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Scared but I don't know why.

Started by MaddieBot, August 28, 2015, 03:09:05 PM

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MaddieBot

Greetings everyone! My name is Madison, I'm 25 years old, and I came out as a woman in February of this year. I am overall happy I came out, and have had nothing but support from the people I care about. I love dressing the way I like, having extra long hair, doing my nails, etc. I can't think of a single logical reason why my life in particular would change for the worse for being a woman. BUT... I wasn't exactly unhappy as a man either. Sure I was even more introverted than I am now, but i wasn't agonizing over being male. Once I came out I was 100% sure I wanted to move forward, and I have been on hormones since May, but I can't seem to shake the thought that once all is said and done, I might regret it.

I struggle with anxiety and Bipolar disorder, so I do tend to overthink things. Is this a normal thought every trans person has? Or should I seriously rethink whether I want to transition?
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Mariah

Hi Madison, welcome to Susan's. I hope you don't mind, but I moved your post to introductions. Congrats on being on HRT. It's very common to have doubts. It's certainly something that you should work with a therapist about. In the end, Only you can determine if you should transition or not. I never had doubts myself, but this is my second go around at transition too though. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Please feel free to ask any questions. We are here to help. Everyone's transitions are different and how far we go may differ to. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

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HoneyStrums

Being happy now, doesnt mean you have to take anymore steps.

There is no rule that says you have to go further.
And just because sombody ells does somthing doesnt mean you should.
Sometimes we get it into our heads that, Im transitioning and this is part of transitioning, so in order to transition  must do this. But transition is a completelly personal thing.

If you dont need to go any further, then dont. Dont feel as though you have to do somthing in order to validate yourself as a person.

If you are afreid of regret, then I sugest not going forward untill you are completelly comfortable with it, because if you go forwards with these concerns, should you regret it, you would never forgive yourself.

So basically, If there is anything that you will regret. should that happen, you will regret it.

For example, I know this might not happen, but if it does Ill regret it.
I think that when you look at it like, I know this might happen, and this might happen and all of these oter things might happen, IS any and all of these potentioally happening to me, a risk I want to take?

If not do not. Thats my advise.





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Dena

Welcome to Susan's Place. You should be a bit worried if you weren't having those feelings. You are going from a comfortable male life where you know all the rules to the life of woman where everything is new and unknown. Some of what drove you forward in the first place was the excitement of being a woman. Now that has worn off, you are not as sure. I am post surgical for 33 years and I last felt that excitement before surgery. What moved me forward and the reason I am happy today is the freedom from the pain and discomfort I felt before. Eliminating that is the real reason to transition. The question you need to keep asking yourself is are you more comfortable with yourself and your life as a woman. If you are more comfortable, then you aren't making a mistake.
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cindianna_jones

I think it is healthy to question your own motivations. I believe that a time may come for you where you will have no doubts either way. Just let it happen. Don't drive yourself until you are driven. You are doing the right things... step by step.

My advice is free and worth every penny.

Cindi
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V M

Hi Madison  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Alice Borealis

Quote from: MaddieBot on August 28, 2015, 03:09:05 PM
I struggle with anxiety and Bipolar disorder, so I do tend to overthink things. Is this a normal thought every trans person has? Or should I seriously rethink whether I want to transition?

Hey, Madison. I know how you may feel. I think it's normal for any person to be concerned about making a mistake, this is a big decision! And it's probably compounded by your anxiety. I know when I first got on hormones, that scared me a lot too at first, but after a while it just became more comfortable and. . I don't know it just went away.
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katrinaw

Warm welcome to Susan's Madison

The euphoria of starting sometimes eclipses the Logical part, so from that prospective yes it can happen, for sure.
But in reality its really about how you feel and what you want, as for over-thinking I am certainly guilty of that, hence why after struggling all my life, and realising I could change about 17 years ago, I then went into the yes / no cycles... but then I had a family that would be devastated.

So there are a lot of scenarios, feelings, emotions and logical thinking that can get in the way, but in the end, you know when its right and that you can't pull back anymore. It doesn't matter what others think, its about you, the inner you. xx

Best wishes for your journey forward, and I look forward to seeing you about the forum's

L Katy  :-*
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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