Hi gang. As I am sure you can tell, my name is Marlo. I was searching for some legitimate non-sexual support groups and here I am. Very impressed and glad to be part of the family.
This reminds me of profiles I had to write for each new class I started, but here goes. I'm a retired firefighter/paramedic/WMD hazmat technician and am presently in my 14th year as a cop. I worked undercover for a few years and came back on the interdiction unit as a K9 handler before my partner and I were nearly killed by an assassination attempt on my (our) lives. Yeah, I'm that good that someone tried to kill us; yet I'm only good because of my partner. I am a WMD instructor specializing in radiological/nuclear weapons and am presently a patrol supervisor.
Off of work for just shy of a year, it gave me time to think. The trooper investigating the crash told me that we both should have been killed; I started to think that maybe I was to stick around for a reason. My gender dysphoria is something that I have fought all my life, but gave into just shy of going the whole nine yards with it. It was time to move forward.
I did have a couple of suicide attempts when i was younger; one of them could have been pretty gruesome if I had gone through with it. I thought that maybe God would bring me back to the world as a girl, and the more gruesome the method of death the prettier I would be. Ultimately that did not prove the way to go so I had bunches of unprotected sex, always as my female persona and never as a boy. I did get raped in Chicago early on (that'll teach me to troll bars at age 19). Again, the same paradigm existed should I get sick and die, and back then AIDS was still a death sentence. Fortunately I got out of that morbid phase, albeit understandable (the feelings, not necessarily the intended actions).
By the way I am still HIV- as of 02/2015.
I still see a few guys, but they are in a pretty tight network and they cannot risk taking anything home to momma. Our arrangements are quite exclusive, and they have to be. Discretion is something that I am known for and well respected for. Hard to earn trust, but when you do and it is mutual, it is worth its weight in gold.
Anyway, things are going quite well. I am married to a wonderful cisgendered female 14 years with no end in sight. I finish my Masters Degree in November and move onto the the doctoral program in January. I will be specializing in the LGBT community with an emphasis on male and female transgenders. An added concentration will be on public safety officers; having worn all three pairs of shoes and having been there I believe qualifies me to say " I know what you mean."
I did have to learn how to walk again in heels, but I'm finally back up to the five inch stilletos. All that after two herniated discs, a pinched sciatic nerve, two broken ribs, bruised kidney, and a ten month long concussion akin to what a football player would receive from a full-blown head shot.
I am very fortunate to have a loving wife, support, and insurance to cover my expenses. Because of that precious gift that I have been given, I will base my fees on a sliding scale and will do pro bono work for those who simply cannot afford to see someone.
If I can help any of you guys (I always use 'guys' in a gender neutral context). please let me know. I am going to be a strong advocate for our community and a strong voice. I'm going to protect those I can, and those I can't I'll find someone to. I've been protecting people, most of whom would never have me over to their house for dinner, for the majority of my adult life. It is about time I protect my own.
Be safe - its bad out there and getting worse every day.
Marlo
