How's Dating Straight Guys like?

[Stella Sophia]

Hi Ladies,

I am happily married but my wife and I are poly and I am bi and someday (a long way down the road when further transitioned) I want a boyfriend of my own.

It seems like they are really impossible to come by, I am not the assertive type of woman but more like the high confidence and submissive type if that makes sense, meaning I am confident and I will let men take the lead as I prefer masculine guys who react to femininity. Anyways it seems like all the guys that can be found are ->-bleeped-<-s and or don't see anything serious with trans girls at all.

So any of you ladies with any success or stories or tips? How did you meet? Did they make the first move? Was it/is it serious? How is it like among their family and friends if it ever got that far? How were the intimate moments like?

[Ms Grace]

Even though I am not interested in dating men I would dispute your assertion that there are only "->-bleeped-<- types" that are interested in dating trans women. There are plenty of women on this site alone that have loving straight male partners.

Yes, some men are sleazy and fetishisise transwomen but they are not the only men who want to date us.

[suzifrommd]

I'm 54, middle aged and rather plain looking. I've had a number of men that want to sleep with me, so if that's what you're looking for, it should be easy to get.

Someone (of either gender) who wants a relationship - that's a much taller order. I understand it's easier for poly folks since they're generally not exclusive.

[Cindy]

I will join this conversation.

I'm a straight woman, I like men. My BF is a very strong minded man as I am a woman. We like each other for our intelligence, interests and love of life. We are both philanthropic, which is very important to both us.

I reject totally that transgender/ trans sexual women cannot have 'normal' loving complete relationships with men.

My past construct has nothing to do with my relationship.

Indeed I get very annoyed that there is some sort of implication that transgender women, or transgender men are not totally normal and cannot have totally 'normal' relationships.

I do think that if you feel that you can only have a relationship with a '->-bleeped-<-' then you need to examine your core values.

[Lizandri Roth]

I'm not full time yet (so have no experience in this matter) but when I start living my life as a female I can't wait to meet the right guy who will accept me for who I am.  I have fantasies about me walking down the isle in a wedding gown.  I want to marry and live a normal heterosexual life with a husband that will take the lead and support me in my own little endeavors. I can't see that it's impossible.

[iKate]

I've had straight men warm up to me and they seem interested in hanging out. I'm still married so dating isn't happening yet. But I don't think it should be difficult to get a straight man, cis or trans.

[Isabelle]

I identify my sexuality as "omnivorous opportunist" however, I've been seeing a straight man for just over a year. What's it like? That same as any other relationshil between two people., ie all unique. I don't know how useful it is to think dating girls is like "x" and dating men is like "y"  He's certainly not a ->-bleeped-<-. Just open minded.

[VickyMI]

I'm married and have dated straight men. Currently in a year and half relationship with a man. It's been wonderful.  We go everywhere on dates and he treats me like a princess.

So yes it can happen.

Aim high.

[pretty pauline]

I will join this conversation.

I'm a straight woman, I like men. My BF is a very strong minded man as I am a woman. We like each other for our intelligence, interests and love of life. We are both philanthropic, which is very important to both us.

I reject totally that transgender/ trans sexual women cannot have 'normal' loving complete relationships with men.

My past construct has nothing to do with my relationship.

Indeed I get very annoyed that there is some sort of implication that transgender women, or transgender men are not totally normal and cannot have totally 'normal' relationships.

I do think that if you feel that you can only have a relationship with a '->-bleeped-<-' then you need to examine your core values.

You've more or less said everything there, absolutely agree, I've just celebrate my 5th wedding anniversary with my husband, he is a completely straight guy and completely accepts me as a woman. We have a normal life and good relationship as husband & wife, he takes the lead as good supportive and wonderful husband, gentleman in everywhere, treats me like a lady and spoils me the way a girl should be spoiled, it's been a wonderful journey becoming the woman I am now.

[HoneyStrums]

When I CAME OUT to my boyfriend, The subject passed and we continued as we allways had. The next day, He had some questions, as exspected.

Him - So your a girl that wants to be a man?

Me - Well Its the other way around actually.

Him - SO your not changing then?

Me - What do you mean?

Him - Are you changing your body?

Me - Yes im getting rid of that, yes.

Him - I hope your not doing that for my sake. I realy dont mind, I MEAN do mine but what I mean is. Its worth putting up with, considering the risks involved. I fell in love with a woman. And if that woman thinks shes gotta, get a surgery to please me, then she isnt the kind of woman I want to be with.

Me - No its about, how I feel about it. If I was ok living with It, I wouldnt even consider those risks.

Him - Ok, But just making it clear, That despite everyhing you have told me, I cant see you any differently, I feel in love with your, Sence of humour, That silly little giggle of your, And I dont want to loose that, You make me feel so proud, I thought you was a dicent person before, and I was wrong, your much better then that, after having lived life the way you have for so long, That makes you far more important to me now then If I never knew this.

Me - Im not special, I just want to by able to be happy

Him - And you deserve it, you are a nice person and that make you one of posibly very few people that actually do deserve to be happy.

Me -  I dont deserve it more then other people.

Him - Yes you do. Dont be so hard on yourself. And thank you.

Me - thank you for what

Him - Telling me

Me - I had to, I felt like I didnt deseve your affections

Him - Im not thanking you for not hiding somthing, Im thanking you for giving me the opertunity to love Know more about the the woman I love.

Me - Im still the same

Him - I know that, But now I realise that I fell in love with a woman, not because she is one, OR because of what she looks like but because of what she is like as a person. I know that, because lots of women look good, some even better then you sweety, But I did consider leaving you, because that would be easyer but, When I thought about all the things I liked about you, I couldnt do it.

I love you (ENTERS FULL NAME HERE) And that the woman I want to be with.

[stephaniec]

I'm still working on dating a straight man as a trans. I've done it as a bi-man, I thought I had strong feelings , but I found out It was just for sex. I've got a plan though for when I'm ready to date a guy again.

[Sammy]

How it's like? Frustrating, ironic, yet it can be humorous at times. I have had a couple of "coffee dates" - chat was nice, but lack of chemistry killed the rest, though I have to admit, I was quite early on transition then.
Now, it's mostly online stuff - they express interest while maintaining that they are strictly hetero, yet.. very curious about it (whenever I see that stuff coming up, I start laughing and just count the posts/days till they will vanish). Now, there are two scenarios:
- they either want to know a lot about yourself and as soon as they realise that they are interacting with alive human being, with hopes and interests, they kinda freak out and disappear without leaving a message;
- they actually arrange for a date and then there are all sorts of last-minute excuses why they wont make it (I actually appreciate this because at least that means I am not standing somewhere and waiting for someone never to show up) - so far I have heard: "important meeting at work" (on Friday afternoon, yeah, baby), "needs to sell his car NOW and the buyer is in another city", "important existential crisis and hence the need to get away from internet and GMT for at least a week" (hint taken). I have to admit, with the latter, they have mostly been boys in their late 20-ties. I would suggest avoiding that category, cause they are still boys who are mostly looking for sex, not something serious.

[Stella Sophia]

Even though I am not interested in dating men I would dispute your assertion that there are only "->-bleeped-<- types" that are interested in dating trans women. There are plenty of women on this site alone that have loving straight male partners.

Yes, some men are sleazy and fetishisise transwomen but they are not the only men who want to date us.

I was quoting an observation not a fact, lady.