Uh oh, no more libido??

[Melody.T]

Hello friends, tomorrow will mark my 1 month anniversary on HRT. One thing I can't help but notice is that my libido is gone. Not just diminished but kapoot. I'm a little hesitant right now as to what I'm supposed to think or do. Transitioning is very important to me, but I didn't want to lose all my sex drive or switch from Pansexual to Asexual!? Can anyone enlighten me on what's happening and if there is a cure? Obviously I'm losing my testosterone, but isn't testosterone converted to estrogen in male libidos or am I mistaken? Once again, any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. 🙏🏼

[kelly_aus]

I found mine went away and then came back, but when it came back, it was different..

[Valwen]

after about a month and a half or so mine diminished greatly, like mabye 10% of what it was but about a month later it recovered and now after 4 months is like 80% ish most days.

I have no scientific evidence to back this up but I suspect that as the t-blockers do there job it shocks your system and suddenly your body is trying to deal with a lot less of it, once it starts fully accepting the estrogen and gets use to the new levels your brain recovers its desires.

really I just made that up mostly but it fits with what I experianced. then again i have always felt that my desires where in my head rather than in my body so to speak I have to put myself in the right mental state or all the naked sexy time things in the world don't really hit me the same.

Serena

[Wynnflaeth64]

Hey there!

Don't worry, that sensation is pretty normal. Although, in most cases, its not really a loss of libido. In my experience, it only seems as though you've lost it. The only libido you knew was the action-pumped, full throttle, bang-anything-that-moves testosterone vibe. The one you're given by female HRT is much more subtle, waiting to be tempted out of its cave. If you're not prepared for it, it can be quite a shock to the system, and it makes a lot of sense that one would experience it as a loss of libido. If you're referring to Mr Snake's performance down there however, nothing you can do. Some of us lose that, some of us can't get rid of it.

Of course, if you don't like the experience, by all means take some time to think it through and consider your decision. It's a pretty normal thing and I wouldn't personally be worried (2 years down the line for me). In my case, it was a welcome change, as I found it more rewarding this way round. It must be said though that your preference doesn't in any way make your gender more or less valid. You should move forward based on what you want from it.

In case you aren't aware, in many cases the body rebels after a long period of time and becomes less responsive to E and Prog, and starts responding more readily to the low levels of T in your blood and you may find some of the male libido returning. Don't bank on that, but it may be something to consider. That's why your doc should test your hormone levels every few months, precisely because the scales constantly shift.

Side note: it is a possibility you truly are losing any and all libido. Given the context, that wouldn't be on the top of my list of causes but if you really are worried, perhaps talk to your doc/psych about it. It may be very worth doing some introspection surrounding your sexuality and orientation. If you're still unhappy, consider your reasons for transitioning hormonally. Worst case scenario, you just labelled yourself incorrectly and you still have plenty of time to backtrack. Although, if you've made it this far, it is very very unlikely that you were doing it for the wrong reasons unless you've absolutely hated E. Just a question we all have to ask ourselves at the stage you are currently at  You'll probably know for sure at around the 3-4 month mark.

Much love
xx

[Melody.T]

Thanks for the responses. I'm happy about the body and mental changes besides libido. Not to sound like a whore, but I do/did enjoy sex greatly. I decided to transition because I want a female body, female clothing, my interests lean to the feminine side. Quite frankly I'd be happier as a woman. I guess the cold truth is that I miss my male libido. I'm in a happy committed relationship, and I guess I'm a bit of a nympho when it comes to love making, so I notice this libido change drastically. I'll discuss it with my hormone doc next week. Thanks for the replies, I hope others chime in. I wish I could look and feel like a female, but retain that certain desire. I'm
Not worried about my penis functioning, but I want my mind to get turned on like it used to.

[Ashey]

Yeah my libido changed, but didn't go away. It does certainly feel like it sometimes, but even 21 months in I'm still getting used to it. I still occasionally like to look at pictures and videos, but typically I don't care about that stuff anymore. Part of me misses it, because before, I could be aroused quickly and easily, and pleasure myself whenever. Now it's a chore. But it's also good that I don't NEED to get off all the time, and not being aroused constantly means I can certainly concentrate on other more important things. However, since my libido has changed, I find that instead of automatically becoming aroused by external stimulation, I can instead make myself aroused if I want by thinking about certain things. It's no longer visual for me, but mental and emotional, and is a lot more involved. Sometimes I find myself laying in bed and I'll think about a sexual fantasy. I'll make it very detailed, and even get an emotional charge out of it. Then I'll find myself writhing around moaning a bit, really getting into it. I even rub myself down there, but it's probably the least important part of it and more of an automatic response or perhaps a need for some sort of physical input. As nice as all that can be, I can also turn it off pretty easily.

But when it comes to getting off, I'm still not totally sure what to do. In a way, that's kind of exciting! Just when you think you had sex figured out.. I can still get off like I used to (though a vibrator is usually needed for best effect), but orgasm that way doesn't satisfy my female sex drive. It used to be that I would orgasm and my sexual desire would hit the floor. Now? Very little drop. However, my initial desire isn't as high to begin with, so there is that. So in my case, I need to find ways of pleasuring myself or having someone pleasure me that will actually satisfy my female desires. If my fantasies are any indication, I suspect I'll require a combination of mental, emotional, and physical stimulation... Tricky stuff!

[kelly_aus]

I guess the cold truth is that I miss my male libido.

Hormones, as you've discovered, will kill the male libido.. But only on the way to an emerging female libido. While they are not the same, I've found the female libido to be just as much fun, if not more.

[Melody.T]

I'm very happy to report that I've been having an increase in my libido since my doc doubled my estrogen dose. ^^

[Beverly]

I'm very happy to report that I've been having an increase in my libido since my doc doubled my estrogen dose. ^^

Nonetheless, expect it it be very different. Reading stimulates me now, not what I see and the "turn on" is no longer "instant", it requires time and attention to build it up, just like other women.

[iKate]

My libido never really changed. I got aroused more by fantasies and mental stuff anyway. Visual stuff never really did it for me. However it takes much longer to finish now and it is a bit more intense. However the feeling when I finally do cross the threshold is more or less the same, I've always had intense full body orgasms. Don't know why but I'm not complaining.

[KristinaM]

In my own experience...

I've been on HRT (Spiro/E) for 7 weeks now.  About 10 days ago I had my first overnight erection since starting HRT.  Then it kinda fizzled out.  Then last night I had like three!  So weird.

I've been basically not sexually motivated at all for the past 2 months, but this morning the gears started turning again and the juices started flowing.  I've got MS, so that's affected my libido as well, but I can feel it starting to re-emerge, even if only very slightly!  And in a different way.  I don't know what will turn me on, but I'm starting to remember the feelings at least.  Just in time to have my dosages upped too, haha.

So there's a good chance you'll regain some of it, but it will probably be different.  There is definite tingling today though, where there was none before. 

[Ara]

My sexuality and sex drive have changed a lot as I've been on HRT.  I'm almost up to three months (I started 15th of May) and I've had my sex drive drop a bit.
To begin with my sex drive wasn't all that high.  I had higher oestrogen levels already so maybe that had something to do with it but I never really understood people who could masturbate more than once a day.  That was a rare occurrence for me. 
What low sex drive I had decreased when I first started to transition, even without HRT.  If I was in a dress and tights then suddenly I wasn't interested in sex.  I guess I was adjusting to the change, and eventually I got used to it and started feeling sexual again. 
Now on hormones I have low sex drive.  Masturbating is difficult, and I only really do it once a week or less.  Usually because my sex drive or anxiety are high enough that doing it will help me sleep.  Still, it's hard work and I end up with a really sore hand/arm.
Sexuality feels different now.  I'm not sure how much it has changed, but I've swung a little more towards women than I was before, though I definitely feel more into men.

On top of all this is the problems of dysphoria with sex.  I'm not sure how capable I am of enjoying sex as I am right now. 
I hadn't really enjoyed sex before transition though, and I didn't realise until after deciding to transition that I was just very dysphoric about my body.  That should have been so obvious to me but apparently not. 

[IceCreamCake]

Personally, I'm happy it's gone. One less thing to distract me. I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone until I've had srs anyway.

[Qrachel]

Talk to your endo . . . during the first 3 years we had several minor chemical tune ups to keep my libido where I wanted it to be - no spontaneous erections but the ability to become aroused if there were sufficient stimulus, just like a woman.

After SRS, I settled right in and it's been rock solid where I want to be since then.

Take care,

R

[Kellam]

Even though I am/was asexual I had been "blessed" with a very strong libido. I hated it and when it went away i was so happy. That was a peaceful month or so. It came back though, as others have said. Only now I have total control. The only thing it does without permission is a little semi charge when I have a strong positive emotion. It is very bossy and likes its opinions to be known. Anyway, things are less mechanical than they had been previously. Doing my libido's bidding used to be little more than a mechanistic chore. It used to seem purely biological, now my mind and emotional world are big players.

My trouble has been that my sexuality seems to be awakened. I had half remembered hints of it from the start of male puberty. When it became clear that my body would always be wrong my sexual interest nose dived. Now that more of my mind and body is right I have come to realize that I am attracted to masculinity. That has made my returning libido a bit of a challenge. Now I have all these "new" desires that I don't know what to do with. I must say though that when the right guy has flirted with/checked me out those desires seem to make a bit more sense.

I never thought I would date again, it has been over five years, but now I don't know.

My point to the OP, enjoy the changing experience of your libidinous life.