I can't come out!

[IAmRealLife]

On my last post I said I was thinking of coming out as trans to my school. Some were talking about coming out to family. So I downloaded trevor project's coming out pdf and it said to "test the waters" to see how the said family member would react. I told my aunt about Caitlyn Jenner and she lectured me about god, how wrong it is to change genders, diseases, etc. So I didn't. I really wanted to but I can't. I do have a aunt who's a psychologist. I asked her last year about it and she said it was possible that I'm transgender. Unfortunately she lives in Cali.. I don't see her much. I have so much questions bare with me I'm sorry D:
*My cousin is having a engagement party soon. They agreed to let me wear a suit but it has to be a woman's suit. What should I do?
*School starts on September 8. I want to come out to my teachers and classmates. Half of them know. My counselor knows because I told her last year and she 100% supports me. Will they out me out to my family? None of my family go to the school anymore.
* Should I speak to my aunt about it more? I didn't talk about it much last year while I came out to her.

[LizK]

Hello  IamrealLife

Not sure how much help I can be but I have a couple of questions for your questions  , simply to help you find your own answers. These are tough life changing questions that you are asking and you may want to take some time to work out the answers...

What do **YOU*** want to wear to your Cousins engagement party?...you have permission by the sound of it...but something is holding you back?

You sound unsure about coming out at school and I personally think that it is a big decision and that in the end only you can make. Having support is going to make it easier not easy. It s now down to whether you want to do this or are there other things stopping you? I can't say about local privacy rules and how they apply to your situation maybe someone local could say. If the counsellor is  really working in your favour then it is unlikely they would out you and there may even be a legal requirement preventing them from doing it.

Sounds to me like you already have an ally in your Aunt. Maybe start with her if you feel comfortable. It always seems to feel better to me when I get to talk to a person rather than maybe just an e-mail...Can you give her a call and ask her for help with this? Do you have a close friend that you are out too that can help bounce idea's around with? I hope you can work it out

Take care

Sarah T

[suzifrommd]

It can't hurt to try to educate your aunt. Make sure she knows:
* This isn't something you chose.
* It typically doesn't go away on its own.
* This is serious. Severe depression and anxiety can result from people who ignore it. It can literally destroy people.
* Those who do best are those whose families support them.

It might help to get other adults to talk to her. Can you call your aunt in California and ask her to talk to the aunt who is not supporting you? Can you ask your school counselor to talk to her? It might be easier for her to hear it from another adult that it doesn't have to do with God, it has to do with how you are born and who you are.

Please give yourself credit for dealing with a very difficult situation. It's really hard when you're not getting good support from your family. Stay strong.

[HoneyStrums]

I think you should keep regulerly contacting you psycologist aunt.
Especially if she is the only family member you can aprach this subject with at the moment.

Fuuny, I was invited to a wedding, And I said Id rather not, ofcouse they asked why not, And I said I dont think I would be welcome.

When They asked what made me think that, I told them what I would choose the wear.

Fortunatelly, they said, well your invited regardless, It is MY wedding and I invited you, If other people dont like it, They aint welcome.

Did this person spacifically say, you couldnt wear the gender suit you want to, or are you assumng that they think you ment the oposit suit to the one you ment?

[IAmRealLife]

Hello  IamrealLife

Not sure how much help I can be but I have a couple of questions for your questions  , simply to help you find your own answers. These are tough life changing questions that you are asking and you may want to take some time to work out the answers...

What do **YOU*** want to wear to your Cousins engagement party?...you have permission by the sound of it...but something is holding you back?

You sound unsure about coming out at school and I personally think that it is a big decision and that in the end only you can make. Having support is going to make it easier not easy. It s now down to whether you want to do this or are there other things stopping you? I can't say about local privacy rules and how they apply to your situation maybe someone local could say. If the counsellor is  really working in your favour then it is unlikely they would out you and there may even be a legal requirement preventing them from doing it.

Sounds to me like you already have an ally in your Aunt. Maybe start with her if you feel comfortable. It always seems to feel better to me when I get to talk to a person rather than maybe just an e-mail...Can you give her a call and ask her for help with this? Do you have a close friend that you are out too that can help bounce idea's around with? I hope you can work it out

Take care

Sarah T

I want to wear a man's suit but my family won't let me. They're making me choose a woman's suit. I don't think my mom will let me bail out of the engagement party.

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. You need to talk to the aunt and get as much help from here as possible. One problem you are going to have is you are ready to move into the male role now but it won't happen that fast because you need to bring the people who know you along and they are going to move at a much slower rate. They will have to be educated as to how important this is to you and made aware that there are few other options for you. This will involve a good deal of work with you and your aunt working together. A local therapist would help and that should be your primary goal. The local therapist will help you with school and family but understand it will take time for people to adjust.