What is the most surprising way you're treated differently after transition?

[buttertly]

The way everyone looks at me now. Women just stare straight at my face. I really don't like it, because  I'm not used to this gazing crap.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Whats different for myself ,

Oh dear ,  male privilge has never been an issue as I hold a rank that has respect with it and from both male and female  plus my age  very few have rejected me as a person and a female .
I know most thinking here is of cause changing from male to female or female to male so none of that applys . so what does,

being accepted as one who is different from most ,  there is no hard lines , its more about growing into who you are , the process has taken most of my life 58 years , and still going on ,

I do know what did surprise me was , in how people and I mean many ....many who just got along side me so quickly and wonted to be close to me , 10s of 1000s of people knew and from that day on has never stopped and why , because a trust was placed in me that I never saw coming men and women ,

you stand in front of others and give of your life and tell your story  your life changes so much . and the 2nd part was doors were opened for you to go through  that has been so different  I don't mean a door you open and walk through ,

acceptance is the meaning .

...noeleena...

[alegutier]

Lots of things change, I would say most of your relationships dynamics will change a little. I love all of the changes that have happens but there a few things that bug me now.

Loss of male privileged. Yes there is such a thing and it will be gone. I now have to twice as assertive about things for some people to take me seriously. In the past I would say something, people would take it as a FACT, now I find myself having to explain things in details for people to listen. Something that is just part of society.

Guys will all of the sudden begin to talk to you in a softer tone. I find myself often having to really pay attention to hear them. Some guys will just stare at you, or just stare at your chest, fixated. That is def something I will never get used to

All of the relationships with my friends have changed. My girlfriends are now shopping buddies and I find that now they are way more open with sharing very personal things about their lives. In the other hand most of my guy friends now are a little more quiet around me and are not as opened as we once were. Not with everyone, my best friends are still there and we are still buddies. There is also this instinctive thing from my guy friends to taking care of me. For example if we go out on a group, they are always making sure I am safe and help me keep the creeps away.

I also have noticed that girls that I do not know can be very mean at times. This is something that was a major contrast. I just do not remember girls being mean for no reason before.

Overall I am more comfortable being myself after transition. Well I guess I am still transitioning .. but feel free to ask anything. I am sure I can think of several other things.

[AnamethatstartswithE]

Thank you everyone for some interesting information. As I said in the original post I really only have body dysphoria now, (the social went away after high school, that was part of the reason I was able to convince myself I wasn't actually trans). I don't want to transition and find that I don't like how I'm treated by others, in essence get social dysphoria going the opposite direction.

[Dee Marshall]

The women I work with all treat me as one of the girls. Today we found a size fifteen pair of pants in the grocery section. My coworker said "somebody has a fat...", um, bottom. I said, " yeah me." I estimate I'm around a 14 or 16 but not sure. She said, "nah, you're not that big." Perfectly ordinary female conversation!

Another asked what I did to get my hair curly. I said it's natural and she was jealous.

Also, I think one of my male coworkers is developing a crush. Never mind that I'm a lesbian and old enough to be his mother. He's always asking me where I've been when I'm not with the team. He seeks me out for conversation. Kinda cute, actually.

I guess being so readily accepted is the big surprise for me. I love working with young people!

[CosmicJoke]

That's good to hear Dani. Another question for all you ladies is, do the people who knew you before treat you as female afterwards? Or is it still different?

A little bit of both. It seems like my relationship with my family as an individual is still the same. I still have the same attitudes and perceptions of the people in my family unit.
They are doing the customary thing. They are calling me the name I declared myself to now be in alignment with my changed appearance (sort of.) It's hard to tell if they are actually doing it out of genuine feeling and understanding that I am female or they just see it as some carnie thing. Either way, it really is not my business what they think of me, so I just spare myself that agony.
I have grandparents from my father's side that are still alive yet. At this point, I believe they were put into my reality solely to test me and make my life much harder.
They seem to just innately know everything that gets under my skin. I seriously doubt that talking to them would accomplish anything.
In short though, it is a little bit of both. Do I get treated as female? I suppose so. Do I get respected as one? Probably not, but the feeling is reciprocal.

[rosinstraya]

I can relate to pretty much all that people have said. In general it comes down to more talking, more discussion- which is fine by me. So, whether it's sales staff, work colleagues, friends or anyone, I'm expected to be chatty and fairly positive. The super positive aspect has required some work on my part, but it has been getting easier.

I'm not thrilled with the discriminatory aspects of female life, but I certainly don't think I'm on my own there!

[Kellam]

People who knew me before for sure treat me differently. Most of them, women were the first, treat me like a woman. But now that I pass most of the time I have noticed that folks who knew me before, especially men, are the ones most likely to misgender me. One coworker has known me for less than a year but is still barely able to use my new name or preferred pronouns. He even pulled me aside and told me how "courageous" I was for coming out and that he didn't mean to be so bad at it. I told him that was nice and all but that he should accept that I will correct him if he doesn't self correct.

It is a little odd having some relationships close down while others open up. My best friend is a guy but there are now things I don't share with him and vice versa. On the other hand there are female friends who had liked me before but couldn't figure me out. I did things, like female conversation, that guys just don't do and now I make so much sense we are becoming closer.

My saddest change is in the form of my brother. He won't talk to me because his brother is dead in his mind. I told him I am just more me than ever but that didn't help. He says he supports my decision but doesn't have time to get to know a new person. I never though I would be a stranger to the person I was closest with.

But it is all positive in the end. I wouldn't go back even if I could...