Susan's Place Logo

News:

Visit our Discord server  and Wiki

Main Menu

First Gender Therapy Session: Good and Bad

Started by KyleEdric, September 04, 2015, 07:19:47 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

KyleEdric

I met a very nice therapist that sounded very knowledgable about trans issues, had lots of experience with past patients, etc. We got along fine, our conversations weren't too heavy, she didn't get too deep with personal questions. In all, a very successful appointment.

When it came to discussing hormones, I told her I would love to start on it, but that I was familiar with the half a year of gender therapy first rule. She then (pleasantly) surprised me that she could write me a letter for hormone therapy "as soon as I can write one". She told me she writes an average of 10-15 letters each week and that it would undoubtedly take some time, but I assured her I was patient.

When I told Mom about it, she seemed significantly less enthused. She was kind enough to set me up with this woman in the first place, but she was completely taken aback by how quickly I wanted to begin hormones, and how quickly I could be approved for them. She, like me, was familiar with the concept of MONTHS of gender therapy before getting a referral.

She said there was no way the therapist could tell I was ready for HRT, implied that my gender issues may not even be serious, that there was no way I could REALLY be trans since I didn't express dysphoria my whole life, that my genderqueer friend was responsible for awakening my dysphoria, it was upsetting.

When I explained (for the hundredth time) that my dysphoria was more or less hidden for years until I finally made sense of it last year, that my friend had nothing to do with my wanting to transition, that I'm not looking to 'belong' to a group, and that I legitimately feel terrible about my feminine appearance, AND how much better I feel identifying as male, she asked me something that threw me.

"Okayyy... So what is the rush? Now that you know how much better you feel, why can't you wait?"

I did not know how to process that... She honestly told me wanting to jump the gun so quick on hormones is "suspicious"... whatever that means.

Mom insists that this is another one of my "Asperger's obsessions" comparing how for years I was in love with anything related to dragons, the years I spent wanting to be a forensic scientist, like this dysphoria is most likely another phase in my life, more or less.

The only thing we compromised on was allowing her to come in to the next appointment on tuesday. And if the therapist can convince her that I am ready to start hormones as soon as I can, then she'll allow it.

I told Mom I understand that this is a massive change, and a sudden one at that. Our family is going through too much stress right now, and it seems to be attacking us from all sides.  I didn't want to be another heavy burden added to the load, but these issues with my gender more or less couldn't stay hidden.

Maybe the whole deal with hormone therapy could be that my wanting to be a guy just became more real to Mom? IS it really a bad thing that I want to start as soon as I am able?
"I know your soul is not tainted, even though you've been told so."~Ghost 'Cirice'

  •  

mycelestialarchangel

Hey Kyle, I'm assuming youre under the age of 18 since you express you need your mums input into the situation. Or if not then effectively nothing is stopping you.  If transitioning is something you feel you need, then by all means you'll get there :) but definitely do your research into the possible/permenant side effects of hormones as well as the regular transitional ones. I do however think that is very fast.  I got my first t shot today using the informed consent method, and even that has taken me two months from my first appointment with my gp.  I do hope your next appointment including your mother does help enlighten her though :)   

YouTube channel:  TheTransPansAussie

Snapchat: @transpansaussie

  •  

suzifrommd

Quote from: KyleEdric on September 04, 2015, 07:19:47 AM
"Okayyy... So what is the rush? Now that you know how much better you feel, why can't you wait?"

I had a psychologist ask me this. I concluded he didn't have a clue of what it meant to be trans.

A good answer to this question would be "If you found yourself having to pretend you were some one else every second of every minute of every day, how quickly would you want to be able to be yourself?"

IMO, there is nothing wrong with wanting to start your transition ASAP.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
  •  

Dena

You know your mind better than anybody else and the one question you need to answer is are you ready for a one way trip to become a male. If you are, combined with the age of 25, you are ready to start hormones.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
If you are helped by this site, consider leaving a tip in the jar at the bottom of the page or become a subscriber
  •  

Mariah

It really does come down to you and when your ready. Some of us have things sort out enough that coming into the first appointment the therapist knows they can get you approved for hormones rather quickly. Everyone's situations are different and I think that it is something your mom doesn't realize and I can understand that. Hugs
Mariah
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariah@susans.org[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
Retired (S) Global Moderator
  •  

sam1234

Despite the rule, if a therapist thinks that you have already been living as your true gender for a long time, they may forgo the wait and give the go ahead for your mental health.

I'm not surprised that after having patiently waited, you are now anxious and feel that things aren't going forward fast enough. The patience comes from not being sure how others are going to take the news and wondering if you will be given the go ahead. Once you are, you just want it to be started NOW. You've taken your hits and struggled with yourself and now the end is in sight. All you can think about is starting the process.

Once you start HRT, you will feel better.


sam1234
  •  

KyleEdric

I've only been DRESSING like a male so far. I haven't been addressing myself as Kyle in public too often (my voice gives me away big time), nor have I been using men's wash/dressing rooms. My other worry is my facial features and my hands because I have a fairly round face, and very small hands that scream 'feminine'.
"I know your soul is not tainted, even though you've been told so."~Ghost 'Cirice'

  •  

Mariah

Size of your hands, body, you fill in the blank or even the shape of your face don't make the man. Your actions are what make you a man. How you act and behave go far further in proving that your a man than how your looks are going to affect your passing. Point is, I wouldn't get to hung up on hand size and head shape. Men do come in all shapes and sizes. You would be surprised what a good hair cut and little bit of facial hair will do to that round face. It takes time. You may even dress a good amount among many things before you even work on your voice or referring to yourself as male or Eric. It takes time and doesn't happen over night. So much of this takes your mind and body to get used to. Be patient with yourself. You know what you need to do and why. The hormones will help with somethings like deepening of voice. I hope that helps. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
Quote from: KyleEdric on September 04, 2015, 12:57:34 PM
I've only been DRESSING like a male so far. I haven't been addressing myself as Kyle in public too often (my voice gives me away big time), nor have I been using men's wash/dressing rooms. My other worry is my facial features and my hands because I have a fairly round face, and very small hands that scream 'feminine'.
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariah@susans.org[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
Retired (S) Global Moderator
  •  

Laura_7

Well imo some cis people kind of relive what they imagine connected with hormones.
They kind of see the image of you... or themselves... transformed which they might resist in some way.

You might downplay it a bit, saying it takes some time for the hormones to take effect.
Also its usually started out with a lower dose where you can see how it makes you feel.

The lower dose by the way might help the larynx expand more naturally so it might help your voice change more gradually.
Usually its half the dose for a few months.

Well you had months or years to get used to the thought. If you feel you are ready you might say so.


hugs
  •  

Dena

Your picture is a bit on the small side but it tells me young boy. The way to help pull this off if you aren't already doing it is to use the chest voice like males do. To use your chest voice you need to relax the area above the larynx when you speak and you will feel the vibrations at or below your larynx instead of in your mouth. This will product a low female voice or a young male voice. Next you need a more monotone voice by removing most of the pitch changes from your voice. Hands are also something I have issues with as well but for a female there are natural ways to hid your hands. You might try holding them in a relaxed fist instead of a open hand when your hands need to be visible.

If you have question about things like your voice, let me know. I have been working with others on voice and the FTM is the easer of the two.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
If you are helped by this site, consider leaving a tip in the jar at the bottom of the page or become a subscriber
  •