Still trying to figure myself out

[KathyLauren]

Posting here is a bit of an experiment for me, "trying out" a female identity to see how it fits.  One thing that I have noticed is that, when I think of myself as Kathy, and when I post as Kathy, I feel "lighter" and "brighter".  Is this what non-dysphoria feels like?

I have trouble identifying what dysphoria is, because it stands to reason that everything about the last 60-odd years has been dysphoric.  The experience that I need to identify is what it feels like to not be dysphoric.

I'm thinking that I might be on the right track here. 

[Laura_7]

You could have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,188309.msg1674885.html#msg1674885

You could try out a few things... and go with a feeling of joy...


Btw I like your name 

hugs

[Katy]

I'm in the "trying to figure it or perhaps more accurately figure me out" boat as well.  Fortunately, there are a lot of warm and generous individuals here that will assist you on your journey.  But ultimately it is your journey of self-discovery.  This journey is also far more like a marathon that a sprint.  Give yourself time to find out about your hopes and desires.  Labels have a use, but you are a unique individual and your life history and emotional make-up are uniquely yours.  I hope you will find contentment and a real sense of being at peace with yourself as you move forward.  All the best!

[Dena]

What it feels like to not be dysphoric is to eliminate the pain and discomfort from your mind. To be able to blank your mind without unwanted thoughts pushing in. To go to sleep at night thinking about something trivial. To find joy in just being alive and having a smile that you can't wipe off your face. I have felt that way for 33 years and feel no need for chemicals to numb my mind or to provide joy.

[KristinaM]

It usually comes in stages for me.

The first is a feeling of euphoria, excitement or adrenaline at the prospect and activity of dressing up, going out, and just being me for a while...

The second is a realization that you're no longer concerned with the fact that you're "dressed up", but that you're just out and about and existing, dealing with normal day-to-day concerns of eating, walking, working, talking, etc...

Then it's a realization that I've gotten to that stage of comfort and warm happiness washes over me...

At least that's how it goes for me with public presentation anyways.  I still have to dress up as some semblance of a boy for work every day, so the cycle starts over every weekend, lol.

[CarlyMcx]

Dressing female fixed my high blood pressure.

If going on estrogen fixes the unwanted stray thoughts that I occasionally have to take an Ativan for, then that will really be something.