Question about dating behaviour/s

[April_TO]

Hi Everyone,

It's been awhile since I posted a thread in here but I hope everyone's doing well

So here it goes, I have been dating a guy for quite sometime now and he's been truly a gentleman and I couldn't ask for more.

However, I keep noticing that when we socially interact (i.e. ordering food, talking to a couple or just anyone for that matter) he always gets the attention and for some reason the other person just ignores me (for a lack of a better term) especially when he's talking to a dude. Or if it's a woman - they are just extra nice to him sigh....I find it annoying to be honest - I'm like hello I'm here!

Is this what male privilege is? Has anyone encountered this?

I'm starting to think are they clocking me thats why they are ignoring me - I know it sounds silly but there's where my mind goes.

Any feedback will be appreciated. Thank you 

[Laura_7]

You could try to remember the names and talk to them directly.

And imo it happens to quite a few female people.

[April_TO]

You could try to remember the names and talk to them directly.

And imo it happens to quite a few female people.

Thanks Laura, I'm just reading this article online that talks about mansplaining where men trumps women in every conversation in various environments I.e workplace or just out there.

It's very interesting dynamic.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Laura_7]

Thanks Laura, I'm just reading this article online that talks about mansplaining where men trumps women in every conversation in various environments I.e workplace or just out there.

It's very interesting dynamic.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Well you could try a few different talking strategies...
talking to them directly, with names...
asking them questions...
and maybe being persistent without being intrusive...

[April_TO]

Well you could try a few different talking strategies...
talking to them directly, with names...
asking them questions...
and maybe being persistent without being intrusive...

thanks hon :-)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Wild Flower]

Hmm... I notice this too. People make judgements about people, people of same race as my coworker tend to talk to my coworker... wheras if its a guy he will talk to the female (of same race). If its a previous client he will talk to me.. 

Its just dynamically different.

Sent from my SHV-E220S using Tapatalk

[lostcharlie]

I think your your just experiencing the "normal" social construct of a couple interacting with others. Especially if the people are not close friends of the both of you. Don't want to jump on the male privilege bandwagon it's more a culture thing IMO. Yes your are seeing it now from the girls side of the street as it were. When you were living in the guy disguise it was probably something you never really noticed or paid attention to.

By the way your looking absolutely FAB !

[iKate]

Among a group of male friends or coworkers, I am treated as background noise unless I make a point to be heard.

On conference calls it is routine to be talked over, and for my male colleagues' word to have more weight than mine even though I am the senior person.

Sexism and male privilege is absolutely real, and the "social norm" is for a woman to be secondary to a man. I don't agree with it but it is society's default.

If it's any consolation, it's validation that you're passing but really, you know that already!

I would think that if they clocked you that they would treat you more like a man.

A few months ago when being treated like a dude I would know. Trust me you can sense it.