Personal and Graphic, but I cant be the only one....

[abd789]

Thanks for the replies

ANOTHER GRAPHIC POST.... sorry, just dont know how to elaborate without being frank
if its a problem please delete... I understand

I dont believe I have any of the things mentioned though

things have actually changed a bit more in the last few days

Penis- smaller, staying soft and out of the way for the most part
I have some sort of a vagina, its right below the penis, its centered
not off to the side... its amazing to... well, you know... sorry

sorry, but I have felt alot of these things and this one would pass on feel alone
I cant explain it, its shallow... 2-2/12 inches, but it has the ability to squeeze
and lubricate.... (fer sure )

Yesterday something happened that I thought was impossible... I was fingering myself
and SQUIRTED! , not once, many times and quite a bit.. it was exactly like GIS Girl squirt
same color, consistency, it was not urine or sperm....it was different than I had ever seen from myself

Heres what I believe to be true, I was born with some amount of both genitalia
intersexed? Whats a label.... it is what it is

I had some sort of operation to "correct" me... and my body has been fighting this for years
but didnt have the estrogen to do the work
Now that I have started soy milk and flax.... I think the estrogen from these is quickly being utilized
by my body, like it was thirsty all these years

I notice small changes nearly every day now

My hips are larger (I am working out as well, so some is that)
My shape is changing from the apple shape male to more hourglass (slowly, but I see it)
Breasts have increased a noticable amount and are lower than they used to be
Face looks different, I like seeing myself now, way fewer glimpse of "that guy"
Sex, well obviously... Im mostly asexual, but you can see thats changed
skin is clearer, softer
body hair seems lighter and lesser, I was a very hairy person
alot of mental changes, more laid back, happier than Ive been in many years

some things that really havent changed yet
face hair   Ive learned how to get a super close shave tho
male pattern baldness experimenting with xtra body products, hair bands and bows/flowers to combat this

Im not saying everyone can get results with wishing and ingested OTC or food products, Im saying that this is what I am doing and I see the results, maybe Im not transgender or MTF.... I dont know
Im just saying what I see and feel

[Isabelle]

Mmmm. Well, I think you should really be talking to a therapist. And go for a general check up with a GP. What you're describing could be a peno-scrotal hypospadias... Another thing to keep in mind is, Soy doesn't have any estrogen in it. It has isoflavones. These can mimic some estrogenic effects. The reality is they're so weak, they actually just block receptors from receiving real estrogen that an asigned male at birth body would be producing.

Go see a Dr.

[Joi]

In most cases Androgen insensitivity would usually also cause a hypospadias

Rejennyrated :  In Ref. to your comment: I have "hypospadias" but it never required any surgical intervention.  I don't know much about the mechanics of this condition, but your comment about "Androgen insensitivity" intrigues me.  If this can result in the condition (hypospadias), would the same androgen insensitivity be responsible for the lack of prominent "male" characteristics that I have inherited.  What I'm talking about is minimal body hair distribution, lack of a visible adams  apple, very minor brow ridging.

[Rejennyrated]

Joi - in a word YES

If you have those characteristics - which I also did - you have the markings that suggest you could quite possibly be PAIS grade 2 or 3...

Until you get tested its impossible to say for sure - but its quite a decent probability yes.

[Joi]

Rejennyrated :  Thanks for your response.  This is all quite interesting.  At this point it's not an issue that would lead me to having tests performed.  It does however, confirm my suspicions about being "somewhat" intersexed.  Androgens are no longer a factor in my life as they were before I initiated cross sex hormone therapy.  All of this really speaks to my understanding of self that for most of my life was confused by the dysphoria that started when I was 7 or 8.  It's unfortunate that I had to wait until I was 67 to find out, but "it is what it is"  We are all so unique and complex that it's baffling.  Bottom line though is that I am finally happy and my transition is in high gear with more profound revelations to come.
Hugz,
Joi