Hey everyone,
My name is Michael, but most call me Mike. I'm a Master's student and I work in student affairs at a university. I perform as a drag king on the side, and my fiance is a drag queen who still lives as male. I have an amazing group of friends and family, and they're my number one. School might come first, but they're still the priority when it comes down to the wire.
I am an introverted extrovert - ENFP. I've traveled a lot in my life. I always tell people that all the money I make goes to two things: 1. tattoos, and 2. visiting and learning about new places. I would consider myself a laid-back academic, and my passion is in the social sciences. I spend a lot of time working for the trans* community. I am here because I need a larger community for my own support.
I am ftm, 4.5 months on t, pre-op. I'm in my mid-twenties, and this isn't the first time I tried to come out. I came out to a few significant others in the past, but I got the awful range of reactions from disgust to violence.
Finally, about a year ago, I was out to a small number of people, including my brother. I was petrified to tell my family - they've always been decently open-minded, but they were ignorant to trans* issues. I decided to tell them.
I always presented myself and thought of myself as male. I can remember thinking to myself at nine years old that I was a boy, not a little girl. I was happy for the most part as a kid skating, biking, and doing all of the things I enjoyed, but I hated when I had to be in a gendered space or situation. I remember wanting to be in the boys locker room in middle school. My parents let me cut my hair really short, and I wore baggy black clothes that hid my body. I hated my body from the time puberty hit.
In forth grade my parents put me in "gender corrective counseling." My teacher had overheard me telling another student I was a boy, and he approached them saying he thought I might be transgender. He was very protective of me from that point on, but my parents freaked.
I hid my gender identity, but not from myself. I woke up every morning knowing that I was a man, and went to bed every night scared to wake up the next morning. Finally I told my parents, and even they were 100% supportive. My mom told me she suspected, and my dad didn't know much, but he researched articles, videos, and blogs, and he has turned out to be my biggest supporter. My extended family and fiance's family are all (save a few) extremely supportive. I have support at work, at home, with my friends, and my fiance, and I feel blessed.
Even though I feel blessed, I'm still really struggling with a few things. I need more community to talk to and listen to. I am trying to learn to love myself as I teach others to do for themselves.
