Rejection from muslimah

[IgniteTheFyre]

Peace and Blessings to all my brothers and sisters whether you are muslim or not. It is with a heavy heart that I find myself here seeking connection with other trans muslims. I am sure many of you have been in my situation. I am ftm and have been a revert for several years.  I am married to a cis woman for 2 years now.  She reverted a little over a year ago.  This past week she tells me she wants a divorce,  or marriage is invalid under sharia,  and I am playing with my soul because I did not stop transitioning and accept that Allah made me a woman. I don't know if there are ulterior motives on her part but she had been with me since I started transition and had a bachelor's degree I in Gender Studies so she knows this is not something that can be switched on and off. I would have thought she would be one who would understand and accept. She had been reading the hateful speech of scholars and opinions and wants to throw hadith and the story of Lut in my face none of which is applicable. She says it's my fault for introducing her to Islam and that she is playing jeopardy with her soul by staying with me. I have lived as a man for 3 years now although I have not had any surgeries yet.  I go to masjid and pray with men and no one says anything. Even the brothers who knew me before. I asked her how was I supposed to ever find someone else, a muslim woman to accept me and she says I should find another trans muslim to be with and gamble with our souls together. I am not opposed to a trans muslim but for her to say it the way she did is vile. She says she is doing it for the sake of Allah but the way she is behaving towards me it is nothing like the sake of Allah, there is no compassion or mercy.

[Laura_7]

Hello and welcome 

Well here is a brochure that might be shown, by a reputable source... the british national health service...
stating being trans has biological connections...
so its nobodys fault... not an upbringing or whatever...
http://www.gires.org.uk/assets/DOH-Assets/pdf/doh-transgender-experiences.pdf
the NHS brochure explicitly states for trans people, their families and healthcare staff...

It might be translated via google translator.
Studies have shown there are differences in brains of women and men.
This difference is done before birth, through various transmitter substances.
Since brain and body develop at different times a mismatch is possible.

Its simply how people feel.

well and concerning religion it should all be about love imo... its love that should be there.
People are born with all kinds of birth conditions so it has nothing to do with any religion.

Here is another resource, which is quite emotional... a letter...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1740788.html#msg1740788
Parts of it might be translated.

In the last decade many studies were published showing it has biological connections.
In addition to that there are international standards of care, called WPATH. You could look them up or look here:
https://www.susans.org/wiki/Standards_of_Care_for_the_Health_of_Transsexual,_Transgender,_and_Gender_Nonconforming_People

There are examples of countries which treat transgender people. As far as I know, for example i ran has a high number of srs surgeries.

You might also look on the internet for transgender groups in your country.

Well concerning the two of you...
imo it has nothing to do with religion.
As already stated, people are born with birth conditions, other people are asked to help in a loving way. Apart from any religion.

You could try to leave religion out of the picture and simply ask if this is about love...
if she loves you and what her impressions are...
and what her dreams of a future are...

its possible she is influenced by others, or by her own feelings of restraints...
she might work on that, on acceptance...

if she could accept it she might not be influenced by others so much...

Well you might talk about it, about your real feelings and what really moves you...
doing this in a calm manner might help, not really reproachful but stating needs and emotions...

have a *hug*

[Evolving Beauty]

It's not a sin to love each but rather a sin to be a swinger and keep on changing partners for sex non-stop. Your souls are genderless so if you really love each other you have blessings of God.

[katrinaw]

Warm welcome to Susan's Ignitethefyre

Big hugs to you...

Religion can play a massive part in our wishes and desires, and then very unfortunately with some, rather than unite it disenchants and divides us even at family levels, its not religions fault its interpretations unfortunately in most cases.

Oh sorry a bit of housekeeping please review

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service and rules to live by	Standard Terms and Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, and signature images policy

I really wish you well immediately and in your future

I look forward to seeing you about the forum's

L Katy 

[Shakira]

That's a realy sad story brother, I'm in a similar situation and understand how much this hurts.
Your wife has been reading the wrong books and limiting herself to what the Saudis have been propagating for the last 40 years since they came into money.
There's a lot of other opinions,1400 years worth, some for some against lgbt being ok.
And thats all they are, opinions.
Lut's people were heterosexual, psychopathic,power rapists.
When Allah condemned them for wanting to rape Lut's guests he asks why? When you have wives at home?
Get your wife to read Scott Kugels book on homosexuality and Islam, there are gay Imams more knowledgable than us who are out and satisfied that being lgbt is compatible with Islam and not a major sin or forbidden.
Thr Quran tells us to seek knowledge, to use our own brains and form our own opinions.It tells how the followers of previous messengers went astray by giving thier priests and rabbis more say about what is and isn't allowed instead of following Allahs message.
I used to be a lot like your wife when I was new to Islam, most of us turn into a Grand Mufti or a halal policeman
when we're green and enthusiastic.Expose her to the beauty of Islams diverse opinions and traditions, get her to see there is more than one answer to every question.

[Laura_7]

That's a realy sad story brother, I'm in a similar situation and understand how much this hurts.
Your wife has been reading the wrong books and limiting herself to what the Saudis have been propagating for the last 40 years since they came into money.
There's a lot of other opinions,1400 years worth, some for some against lgbt being ok.
And thats all they are, opinions.
Lut's people were heterosexual, psychopathic,power rapists.
When Allah condemned them for wanting to rape Lut's guests he asks why? When you have wives at home?
Get your wife to read Scott Kugels book on homosexuality and Islam, there are gay Imams more knowledgable than us who are out and satisfied that being lgbt is compatible with Islam and not a major sin or forbidden.
Thr Quran tells us to seek knowledge, to use our own brains and form our own opinions.It tells how the followers of previous messengers went astray by giving thier priests and rabbis more say about what is and isn't allowed instead of following Allahs message.
I used to be a lot like your wife when I was new to Islam, most of us turn into a Grand Mufti or a halal policeman
when we're green and enthusiastic.Expose her to the beauty of Islams diverse opinions and traditions, get her to see there is more than one answer to every question.

This is a great answer imo.
In all religions people should make up their own minds and get an own feeling for what is right and wrong.
Listening to outside sources and giving the power away leads to outside manipulation.
If people learn to listen to their intuition it will b e a better world for all.

hugs