Hello everyone!!
I am Clare and I am the new girl on the block.
I have always felt somewhat different as a child but could never put a name to it or why. I wasn't good at the sporting games my male friends played and often wasn't allowed to participate. The girls on the other hand were always glad to accept another to play "house" with or turn a skipping rope.
My play group was fluid though. If the boys were playing hide and seek or the like, everyone, including the girls could join in and nothing was said about playing with the girls yesterday, but I preferred the company of females.
As I grew up, I still felt that nagging doubt about the way I felt. I did various jobs and became a soldier for a little over 12 years and upon my release, became a correctional officer in a maximum security facility for 32 years until I took an early retirement.
The reason I retired early was because I had discovered that I was transgender and being trans in a place like that was beyond my ability to adapt. Not exactly the safest place to come out in!!!
My superintendent knew and was supportive and it's funny, but the people closest to me whom I told were not surprised at all! They had suspected but didn't want to say or ask anything in case they were wrong and when I was ready, I'd tell them.
I started living as a woman late 2013 and in 2014, changed as many genetic markers as possible and also my legal name and had BA surgery. I had a tracheal shave in April 2015 and the GCS in June 2015. Dr. Christine McGinn did my GCS in Bristol and she is a truly fabulous surgeon and person.
I financed everything myself because to go through the hoops here in Canada is almost impossible. It's at least a 2 year waiting list just to be seen and then jump through the hoops to be approved and IF approved for GCS, added to yet another long waiting list as there is currently only 2 surgeons in all of Canada who are qualified to do the surgery!
I enjoy being a woman. It what was missing from my life all those years and I am finally happy inside. At nearly 6 feet, I get quite a few looks from people but it doesn't matter to me. I am who I am just as they are who they are.
I live in a small town so there isn't exactly a lot of people like me here, in fact I have yet to meet another of my sisters here so I may be an "only child" so to speak.
Of course there is lots more to say but I think it's enough for the time being. It's not easy being trans as many of you know but like many of us, I could not see myself going back to my old identity and life. Before I transitioned it was like the story of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde. I had 2 separate identities trying to co-exist inside and it wasn't going to work. My feminine side was becoming much more dominant and harder to repress.
Giving in and finally living like I was supposed to and being me is so much easier in many ways and best of all, I'm not depressed any more!
Thank you for allowing me to write a little about myself, hope I didn't bore you.
Take care and all the best to you all.
Love,
Clare
