I kinda regret that I came out when I did because of all the hype and media coverage that has exploded over the last year. It makes me feel that people are scrutinizing my decision as something I'm doing just because it's popular now and that I may not be fully committed to it. Like I'm weak-minded or something. My dad actually called me weak-minded...
But, I stick to my guns now because I've wanted to be and be seen as a girl for decades. To live life on the softer side so to speak. My male life never felt like it fit right. I'd pray to wake up as a girl the next morning when I was younger. I was jealous, envious, depressed, and repressed. When I came to the self-conclusion that there was nothing I could do about it, I moved on and lived the life I'd been pigeon-holed into. I tried cross dressing, makeup, LARPing, the goth scene, etc..., and it helped, but it never felt like it was enough or that people were taking me seriously. Who takes goth kids seriously after all! LOL. Fast-forward to this year, with the popularity of transness in the media, it allowed me to be offhandedly exposed to it, which immediately triggered these waves of memories and emotions. I finally knew there WAS something I could do about it.
And so I move forward, not because it's trendy, but because it makes me happy to finally be doing what I should've done years ago. Being trendy just made it more public, which helped me to finally put the pieces together. So I'm thankful for the exposure as I'm sure there are thousands of others out there like me who will hopefully start putting the pieces together too.
