HRT & Sexuality

[Venus]

 As I understand it most people tend to view being transgender as completely separate from whether you identify as straight, gay, or bisexual. The part where this gets a little cloudy for me is that I've read from more than a few people as those that were originally straight men before MtF that the hormones caused them to develop attraction to men, making them either bisexual or heterosexual (in the sense of one now being a female and liking men).

Has this happened to any of you? If so, to what extent, and how did/do you feel about it?

If someone feels strongly towards one sexuality (e.g. hetero male -> lesbian female) then I can see how it could be fairly disconcerting to suddenly start to find yourself attracted to men in addition, or even becoming your predominate or sole cause for arousal.

I'm not sure how I would feel about it. By birth I'm a hetero male, but through transition I'll be a lesbian female. I'm attracted to penises, but I've never been attracted to men. I think that if the hormones made me bisexual that I'd probably just roll with it and enjoy the newfound opportunities. On the other hand... I can't help but feel that I would feel really bad if rather than pushing me to being a bisexual female that it pushed me all the way to being a heterosexual female. I would probably feel differently at the time, but right now it seems like it would be really disappointing for me. I just... don't really want to not be attracted to women. It's a pretty core part of who I am. Along with the inevitable loss of libido, it does really worry me. Heck, I'd like some kind of pill to keep my libido raging, whatever the case.

Here are some various related threads:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=80930.0
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=159267.0
https://www.google.com/search?q=change+sexuality+after+hrt+site:www.susans.org&safe=off&sa=X&ved=0CCkQrQIoBDAAahUKEwjwtsCe-PnHAhXIooAKHe3xC04&biw=1920&bih=931

Mod Edit- links require prior approval. TOS 1. No profanity please. Allowing the google link though since that is the best way to search Susan's place.

[Dena]

Gender 101

Gender identity is who you want to go to bed as
Sexual Preference is who you want to go to bed with

This are in no way related and do sometimes changed in the transition. The hormones don't cause the change but the most likely cause is that people were born with the new orientation but society force them into the pre transition role. I saw something not to long ago that indicated a poll among college kids showed a third of them thought were bisexual. Now if society force them into a heterosexual, that might explain why so many of us flip in the transition.

[kelly_aus]

HRT will not change your sexual preference, not in the slightest - otherwise it might be a 'cure' for homossexuality.. And we all know that doesn't work. I suspect that what happens is that the attraction is/was always there, but it is suppressed until we come out and start accepting who we really are and actually living it.

Pre-acceptance and transition I was a gay guy, now I'm a lesbian. Hormones didn't do it, it was simply the fact that I no longer saw any need to hide who I really was.

[sam1234]

I don't think its that taking the hormones changes your sexual preference. Its more that previous to your admitting that you feel you are in the wrong body causes a lot of people to deny their sexual preference. It was either just tamped down or the dysphoria was so strong that they didn't think about sex at all.

The two are seperate issues. One has to do with gender, the other with which sex you are attracted to. There are gay and lesbian transgenders and straight transgenders. Hormones cannot make you change your sexual preference.

Hormones are used for things other than for transgenders. Sometimes they are used to fight cancer. If a male hormone is used to fight a cancer in a woman, it does not make her suddenly attracted to other women, nor do men being treated with female hormones for a cancer suddenly attracted to other men. It think what you are getting is poor information that sounds a little like an urban legend.

sam1234

[FTMax]

Pre-HRT I firmly believed that I was pansexual, though I did have a strong preference for women and had never dated a man. After starting to transition, I dated another FTM for a short while. Realized that I am not in fact remotely attracted to anything masculine.

I'm not sure if it was a change though, TBH. If I had a more equal opportunity track record pre-HRT, I would say it was a change. But I'm really not sure anything other than general attraction was present then. I never had any desire to act on it, and now that I've dallied I know that I definitely have no desire for it in the future.

[Deborah]

I was bi all along and if I am honest probably more attracted to men.  But I went the path of least resistance and got married a long time ago.  Since I won't cheat it's really a non-issue for the time being.

I don't think HRT changed any of that other than maybe helping me to be more honest with myself.


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[AnonyMs]

I've found HRT is changing my preferences. I've never been attracted to men before, but that's slowly changing, and libido's dropped hugely. I find the entire experience bemusing and I actually quite enjoy it.

If you like something then you like it, and its pointless worrying about if you should like it or not. The main thing is to accept yourself, however you might be. It will make life easier if nothing else, because I don't think there's much else you can do about it.

[Rachel]

I repressed my sexuality and denied my preference. HRT did not change my sexuality. My wife reading my transition story and confronting me with my sexual history finally forced me to admit I prefer for guys. I lied to everyone.

[Mariah]

I discovered the same and didn't realize what my sexual orientation was tell transition. Hugs
Mariah

I repressed my sexuality and denied my preference. HRT did not change my sexuality. My wife reading my transition story and confronting me with my sexual history finally forced me to admit I prefer for guys. I lied to everyone.

[iKate]

I think it's more social than anything. Once you start getting treated nice by the opposite sex you find them more attractive.

That said there are guys I would not give the time of day to.

[warlockmaker]

I was a womanizer and knew I was not gay. Now 2.5 years on HRT, I'm still not gay, women no longer sexually attract me but not sure I like the quality of men I meet. I will decide post op what sexual preference I have. I'm open to whatever.

[awilliams1701]

I'm only about 10 months in, but the only thing that has changed is I find butch lesbians attractive now. I still prefer femme lesbians though. Absolutely no interest in guys.

[KristinaM]

Being still pretty new to HRT, my comments may not be entirely relevant to your question, but here goes.

I was always adamant to most others that I was a straight heterosexual male.  I had bisexual tendencies though, but it had to be the right guy and under the right circumstances.  People used to think I was just a closeted gay guy.  I got married 8 years ago, we've been together like 11 years in total, and we just had our first (and probably only) baby girl a few days ago!  Yay!

Since coming to terms with my transness though, I've embraced the idea of being bisexual a bit more, but with that in mind, I have virtually no libido now that I'm on HRT, lol.  It still takes just that right, very specific guy to pique my interest, but girls are still my bread and butter.  They may not get my motor running like they used to, but to me, the female form is the definition of sexy.  Va va voom!  And not only do I want to be with them, I want to be them, and it makes me so happy everday that I look in the mirror and see Kristina smiling back at me slightly from behind my boy-clothes, hehe.

Once I have GRS, I'm really looking forward to some good old fashioned P2V action though!

[Stanna]

we just had our first (and probably only) baby girl a few days ago!  Yay!

Congratulations Kristina!
 

[RavenMoon]

Some people avoid same sex relationships because it makes them uncomfortable. So they might have been attracted to men when they were male but suppressed it. But then as the opposite sex they feel more at ease with it. Or, just the opposite, they feel awkward now being a girl and liking girls. Human sexuality is unfortunately tied up in social contrivances.

I like girls. I use the terminology "gyniphillic." It avoids the issue of; was a straight as a guy and then I'll be a lesbian? Lol I'm also attracted to people that *look* like girls. So cis or trans, it doesn't matter. I avoid terms like "pan sexual" because honestly as a word it's nonsense.


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[allisonsteph]

As others have said above me HRT does't change your sexuality. My theory is that many people become more comfortable with who they are after beginning HRT and seeing their bodies coming closer to matching their soul. As you become more comfortable with yourself and your body you become more open to new possibilities. It is amazing how much self hatred can stifle one's true self.

That being said, I guess most people would consider me to be pansexual, although I prefer equal opportunity slut. Prior to transition and HRT I dated cis-women, trans-women, cis-men and trans men. Being received as female by others has made it easier for me to admit that to myself and others. I don't have to fit into the "manly-man" stereotype anymore.     

[Promethea]

I know mentioning specific dosages is not allowed, but it would be useful for the discussion if those on HRT mentioned if they are on a high dose or a low dose, as I think that may be a factor and why experiences are different, at least in part.

I'm not on HRT yet.

All I know is that a friend of mine who is a cisgender lesbian was told by her doctor that she had a hormone imbalance and, if she wanted to, he could give her hormones that would make her straight. That was not in the US or any other country were "curing the gay" (or "praying the gay away") is a thing. It was in a very progressive country were gay sex was made legal probably before the doctor was even born, and declassified as mental illness probably before they entered medical school. She didn't take the offer, but apparently it worked for others.

So there may be some truth to this, even if, like most things in life, is not that simple.

[FTMax]

I know mentioning specific dosages is not allowed, but it would be useful for the discussion if those on HRT mentioned if they are on a high dose or a low dose, as I think that may be a factor and why experiences are different, at least in part.

I'm going in the opposite direction, so the impact may be different. But I was on a regular dose at the time that mine shifted.

[sam1234]

Both gender and sexual preference are often issues that individuals struggle with. Sometimes we try to deny we are one, the other or somewhere in between. I don't know if either ever really changes. Its more a matter of coming to terms with who you are and who you are attracted to.

In some cases, being brought up in a strictly religious household that is very conservative with both issues can deeply repress an individual's feelings. Admitting those feelings may go against everything a person has been taught and believes in. No everyone one makes it out of that alive. Others struggle for years without ever coming to a conclusion. The need to belong is instinctual and a very powerful drive in us. If admitting one's feelings means being rejected by their family, it may just be too much to deal with, so rather than go against the family, they continue a life in which they are not happy but allows them to remain part of the family unit. I'm sure there are people who just give up and live very solitary, lonely lives rather than admit what they feel to themselves.

I don't believe that HRT can change your preference in attraction to one gender or another. It may, however, give you the freedom to come out to yourself and stop repressing your true feelings. Its very sad to think of someone having to live in the wrong body or either living alone or living a lie just because of societal pressure. Those of us who have been able to break out of that trap and live as we feel as well as find love are very very lucky.

sam1234

[kelly_aus]

I'm still unable to locate any reliable source that supports the idea that hormones can change sexual preference. I can find references where it has been tried and it failed, but I can't find anything to say it actually works. The concept also goes completely against what I know about both sexual preference and hormones..