Well....

[Vendetta]

I just want to say hi and introduce my self I'm not sure if this is the proper way of doing this so don't hate me if I say or do something wrong
In this post

My name is Aaron Im 30 years old it has not been the best 30 years but who's life is perfect. I've been in denial about my gender since I can remember.  I'll keep it short when I was a child I would take my sisters clothes and play dress up with make up. My family was not doing well at the time. There was fighting police at the house so I never let anyone know. I got to the point I thought there was something wrong with me
And I decided to repress everything. That turned out to a bad idea I managed to convince my self it was a phase so I started to try to be like everyone around me another bad idea I started to try drugs started with Marijuana started stealing and committing crimes spent my teens in and out of correctional facilities dropped out of high school. I did something really stupid got sentenced to 2 years. the feelings of not being normal came out again with out the heavy drug use couldn't hold it back. I talked to a state youth counselor who told me it was a disorder and would pass they then started giving me anti depressents and I repressed it all again. I've kept it secret but the last two years I'v made a friend he somehow managed too bring out the woman in me and convinced me to dress up and just hang out I've always thought of my self straght attracted to girls more then guys. Now I've hanging out and dressing up at his house a lot. Ive Started trying on  make up again and wow challenging then I thought.  But the first time I got it good I looked in the mirror with everything on and I couldn't stop looking I felt amazing I felt this is how should be it felt right. Now here I am and this time I don't to repress my feelings I want to happens I'm much to scared come out to my family so I thought I'd try it here first.  I've started to have feelings for my friend now and it scares me a lot not sure how to handle it. I'm looking forward to seeing how my future pans out I just need to let life happen.


I tried to keep it short if my post doesn't make any sense I'm sorry I'm incredibly shy and not very good with writing or expressing feelings took me 45 min just to start a post lol

[Laura_7]

Hello and welcome 

You could have a look here for a few resources that could help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,194986.msg1737439.html#msg1737439

and here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1740788.html#msg1740788

Its all a process... take the time you need but keep at it...
Some people come out in a letter, or via text...
and some people use a comparison with a twin... they will be like their male/female twin, with the same sense of humour...

You might look for a good gender therapist to support you...


and take part here, and ask questions...

hugs

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's place. Your story while a bit different is still one like many of self discovery. You fit right in here and and you should find some of the answers you are after. One thing you might not be aware of is gender identity and sexual preference are not tied together. What is important is figuring out who you want to be and then figure the rest out latter. We can also help you when it comes time to deal with your parents and others. Just let us know what you need.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

[Mariah]

Hi Aaron, welcome to Susan's. Your among friends now. Wow you have been through a lot. We are glad your hear now. A therapist would be a good start at this point to. They will be able to help when your ready to tell your faily. I know the feeling too because every time I look in the mirror now I feel amazing. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

[V M]

Hi Aaron 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Rachel]

Hi Aaron, welcome to Susan's.

I am glad you came out to us here. You are among friends and supporters.

This is what I tell myself: my feelings are there, I made them, the feelings are emotion and are not real, accept them and do not fight them. I made them for a reason.

[Vendetta]

Thanks everyone I look forward to being here

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk

[katrinaw]

Warm welcome to Susan's Aaron

Glad you joined us xx

Tough run... juggling with these feelings is not easy and creates all sorts of issues... I have struggled for all of my life, so can understand.

Well you are obviously starting to realise your journey now, I wish you well for your future happiness.

And... I look forward to seeing you around the forum's

L Katy