Update & some questions

[sap]

Hey everyone!

A little update: My parents met my therapist today, I'm still not sure what they all talked about but my mom seems a little more relaxed and texted me "I want you to be happy. I can't know what you feel, but I'll support you all the way because you are my child and I love you so much."
So I'm very happy now!

Although I'd really like to start HRT and do everything as fast as I can, I still have little doubts and don't want to rush anything so I'll take baby steps.. for my parents and for myself.

Questions:

• I went to a laser hair removal counseling and the counselor told me the laser will have no effect on my face before HRT o.O That's weird because I read on the internet I should start hair removal as early as possible because it takes many hours and I don't want to look like a girl with a beard. What do you think? Should I start HRT first or just in the middle of the laser removal process?
• 'm thinking about saving sperm. I really love the idea of having my own genetic children and I'm also attracted to females BUT I read that some women start to like guys too after transitioning. So, I'm wondering, if I end up dating guys, would it be a waste of money that I saved sperm? How can a heterosexual/bisexual trans woman that choose guys have her own genetic children? (I also saw a video of a hetero transgender woman on YouTube where she said she regret for not saving sperm and was curios what could she do with it if she will have a boyfriend...)
• Last question! My therapist said that I need as many feminine experiences in order to discover myself.. to know how I feel about all of that. So I already tried female clothes and liked it.. I might try makeup someday.. but can you suggest any more things I could do to discover myself? Does enjoying a video game with a female heroine count? Reading a book with a female lead? Chatting with female pronounces?

[KristinaM]

Congrats on the good parental status!  I hope it continues. 

Rushing is never a good idea, but you should move at the pace you're comfortable with.  My wife thought I was rushing, but I thought the complete opposite, lol.  There's just a lot of processes to start the balls rolling on, and I felt I needed to get them all going at about the same time.

1) That's a weird comment to hear from a laser hair removal place.  My laser consult actually said, "your hair may actually get thicker/darker with HRT" and I thought that was stupid too though.  You should start laser as soon as possible though if you hair/skin color is suitable to using a laser in the first place.  My beard is almost entirely blonde now and it's only been two sessions and 3 months on HRT!  Unfortunately that means I'm probably going to need a lot of electrolysis, but the brown hairs are nearly gone.  Start both as soon as you're able to and are comfortable with the changes that will ensue.

2) I didn't save sperm, but my wife and I got pregnant 4 months before coming out as trans.  I really can't comment on this question.  Sorry!  I don't plan to bank sperm moving forward either.

3) Yes, you need some girl time!  If you have friends that will help you, that's a big boon.  You can visit the LGBT center, they have some support groups I'm sure that will help you feel comfortable being a girl in public.  Go shopping, a lot.  It gets easier with time.  You eventually stop caring that you're carrying girl clothes into the girl's changing rooms and you're just there trying to figure out which cute top to buy!    Go get your nails done, and/or your eyebrows, start growing out your hair.  If you wear glasses, get some feminine frames.  Find a nice purse you can carry too because if you start wearing girl pants, you won't have room in your pockets for anything!  Oh! And find a good bra with cups that hold their own shape, until you can fill it out yourself.  Just wearing a modest size cup bra and a t-shirt is so reaffirming to my sense of self.

Hopefully you're not too young to do some of these things, not sure how old you are, but they all helped me.    Going dress shopping with a girl friend of mine was really helpful, and she also would go into the ladies room with me, hehe.  I'm so much more confident now, but it does take some help to get started.

[suzifrommd]

I went to a laser hair removal counseling and the counselor told me the laser will have no effect on my face before HRT

I don't understand this. I did a lot of laser before starting hormones and it was very helpful.

can you suggest any more things I could do to discover myself?

I joined a couple of groups as my female self. I'd put on a wig, makeup, and female clothing and go out. I joined a support group for divorced/separated and an all-female feminist reading group (trans-friendly of course). I told the people there that my name was Suzi and they never knew my by any other name. I didn't pass, but everyone treated me as a woman. It was driving back from one of the reading group meetings after having spent the past couple hours as a woman among women accepted as a woman, that I decided I wanted a life where I could be that way all the time.

[sap]

Thanks ^_^

I've started to grow my hair (wonder how long it takes from the awkward frizzy hair to hair that falls down with gravity)
and growing my nails. I'll get a new feminine glasses very soon!
I thought about a bold big frame something like this: https://abcopticalap.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/female-model-glasses-900_600.jpg (have any suggestions? )

A friend of mine will give me a wig soon and I might join a support group and go for a voice feminization group

I'd really like to know if anyone know something about the "saving sperm" issue and what will happen if I end up dating guys and still want a genetic child. I heard there's a research trying to create ova out of skin cells, is it true?

[StartingOver]

I went to a laser hair removal counseling and the counselor told me the laser will have no effect on my face before HRT o.O

With all due respect to those who work in the beauty industry, they're not doing that job because they're smart.  I've lost count of the number of absolute idiots I've come across wielding electrolysis needles and laser hair removal equipment.  The comment you're questioning is up there with some of the stupider things out of the mouths of our hair removing friends.  And I'd also urge a little caution: if the counselor doesn't understand the hair removal process at least as well as you do - and it's not hard to be at least minimally informed given Google and ten minutes of spare time - then run.  You'll be wasting your money on ineffective treatment at best, and risking serious scarring, burning, or worse.  Also, be warned that many (most?) people working in the hair removal industry are untrained, inexperienced, and have zero exposure to the unique needs of transgender girls when it comes to beard removal.  Many I've tried set their machines as if they're removing thin and sparse hair from a cis woman, and don't get that beard hairs on "guys" take a hell of a lot more work to remove.

There are some great hair removal guys and girls out there, but they're sadly a rather small minority of the profession.  Recommendations from the local trans community are a good place to start.

Last question! My therapist said that I need as many feminine experiences in order to discover myself.. to know how I feel about all of that. So I already tried female clothes and liked it.. I might try makeup someday.. but can you suggest any more things I could do to discover myself? Does enjoying a video game with a female heroine count? Reading a book with a female lead? Chatting with female pronounces?

By all means expose yourself.  Er, that didn't sound quite right.  By all means expose yourself to feminine experiences.  But don't force yourself either; a string of miserable experiences that you're not comfortable attempting might set you back rather than push you forward.  Be bold though.  Test things out to see what you like and what you don't like.  And you're free to pick and choose; being feminine isn't an "all or nothing" deal, and if you like makeup but hate frilly dresses, keep the makeup and dump the dresses.  If you like playing female roles in video games, go for it.  I think the key is baby steps.

Enjoy the process.  Your life is about to get real interesting!