Getting started

[nekomidnight]

I just recently started getting really dysphoric, and I don't know what to do. I believe that I am trans MTF, but I am not sure. My parents don't know about me thinking I am transgender. I don't know what to do. I am really nervous about this whole thing. I don't have any means of seeing a gender therapist in person. My closest friends don't even know I think I'm trans. What should I do?

[Dops]

If you think it is a good idea to and and ready for it coming out is a good way to get started. Having that secret lifted off your chest can be seriously uplifting, and if your parents are accepting they may be able to get you a therapist, but keep in mind people are different and you should do it only if you are completely ready.


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[suzifrommd]

Hi Neko. Welcome to Susan's. 

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Do you get a sense that your parents would support you? If you think they would be supportive, they're a good place to start.

If not, is there another adult you trust - a school counselor, relative, or family friend?

[nekomidnight]

What is the best way to tell my parents and friends that I am transgender?

[suzifrommd]

What is the best way to tell my parents and friends that I am transgender?

Mom, Dad, I've got something important to tell you. (Then wait until you have their complete attention.) You might have heard that there are people called transgender, whose brains need them to be a different gender than their bodies. I need to tell you that I'm one of those people.

Let them digest at this point. Allow them to ask questions, freak out, throw a fit, or be sad. Expect the worst and the best, because you can't know how people will react. Answer their questions honestly and without shame - you have nothing to be ashamed of. Be proud to be yourself. If they react negatively, realize that it's not a reflection on you, just the circumstance of hearing something they're not ready face.

When they're ready to listen again, say "I'd like to see a gender therapist." If they object, simply keep saying it. "Well, I'd still like to see a gender therapist." You may have to do some of the legwork of finding one in your area.

Make sure you post when you need help. A whole lot of people here have been through what you're going through. You are not alone.

[Elis]

What worked for me is writing an email so I could make sure nothing was left out. First part was how long I've felt like this, second was examples of how I know I'm trans and the third was what I'm going to do about it. Don't give up if they act negatively, like with most parents you're going to have to stand up to them and explain that you do actually know what you're doing. Maybe find a gender therapist now so you seem more determined to your parents and so they won't think it's a phase. Good luck, tell us how it went.