On We Go

[lilifoxx]

Hello there. My name is Lilith, but you can call me Lili for short.

I found this place a while ago in my research. I'm not sure where to start, or where anything began to be honest, I just know that I want to make a change, and I want to learn who I am.

I put off making this account, because at first I was still denying it a bit. When I first had my moment of realization, I felt so much confusion and instantaneous doubt. I made a mistake (or was it?) of trying to see how I felt as a girl. I started painting my nails, cross-dressing (slowly but surely) and speaking with a more feminine voice. I honestly felt happy, and cutesy and joyous when I did.

However, all it took was an ultimatum from my "family" to end that.

I recently started college, and after some time to adjust, I want to start trying again. After that talk, I was honestly afraid to speak in anything but a baritone of a voice. There are many things I need to work on, but I hope with the help of counseling, I can start to move in the direction I want to be who I want to be.

I close my eyes and I see this girl I am, I could be, and I want to be.

When I look in the mirror, I see something others are afraid of, and something far from feminine. I despise my body, and it's threatening shapes. I'm afraid of it, and I know others are as well.

I just want to match who I am inside.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is hello.

[Cindy]

Hi Lilith and Welcome to Susan's

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You sound just like most of us Hon!

It may be worthwhile talking to a gender therapist to get your thoughts worked out. Maybe there is someone at college that you can talk to? Maybe the LGBTI group?

You are most welcome here, so join on in!

[Ms Grace]

Welcome to t he forum, Lilith! Cool name!!

[V M]

Hi Lilith 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Sarah82]

Welcome Lilith,
I know what it's like to look in the mirror and hate what you see, most women do, I also know what gave me hope for my own transition was the "before and after" threads.
Specifically this transition time line:


I hope you get the same comfort and inspiration from Lady Feral as I do.

Hugs and good luck,
Sarah 

[katrinaw]

Warm welcome to Susan's Lilith

I recall over many years the self same issues, although for many of them internet was not available and therefore nor were resources.

Its often hard for families and loved ones to understand what we feel and the pain we go through, but unless you feel it you can't really... it never goes away until we are fulfilled. For some of us we had to learn to cope and protect ourselves, but that is the way things were.

I hope you are in a better position now to ascertain who you really are, and, welcome and best wishes for you on your journey.

L Katy 

[allinAllison]

Welcome Lilith,
I know what it's like to look in the mirror and hate what you see, most women do, I also know what gave me hope for my own transition was the "before and after" threads.
Specifically this transition time line:


I hope you get the same comfort and inspiration from Lady Feral as I do.

Hugs and good luck,
Sarah 

Sarah, definitely inspiring time-line, thank you! I have no patience but this takes tiiiiiiiime. [emoji2]

Sent from my SM-G925T using Tapatalk

[Rachel]

Welcome to Susan Place. I look forward to seeing you around the site.

[lilifoxx]

Welcome Lilith,
I know what it's like to look in the mirror and hate what you see, most women do, I also know what gave me hope for my own transition was the "before and after" threads.
Specifically this transition time line:


I hope you get the same comfort and inspiration from Lady Feral as I do.

Hugs and good luck,
Sarah 

Oh, she looks lovely! I've actually been following a couple lovely ladies who've gone the way I want to go. One of my biggest inspirations is a woman by the name of Isabella Bunny Bennett. Watching her transition and journey has been very inspiring to me.