Is there a right narrative and a wrong narrative?

[awkward-shark]

When I started watching videos of ftm's where they shared their experience and their views on gender, it became evident that there were some common things to expect of the transgender narrative. When I came to terms with myself, I started to create my own, wich had some similitudes with the ones I had seen (more likely, I had already made my own narrative, it was just now that I realized it was a transgender narrative).
The way I see it and the way I feel is, I'm trans because I feel traped in my body for two main reasons: it chains me to gender expectations that do not belong to me and; it (my body) just isn't right.
This is what works for me, this is how I see my identity as transgender (and believe it or not, it makes me feel good to aknowledge this) but in no way do I believe this feeling of being "trapped" is universal.

One day, I found a post on a blog of transgender and genderqueer individuals where one person said that he was in peace with his body, he said he loves his genitals (wich are men's) and his breasts (wich are men's) and that hrt was a way he could modify his body to make him feel better. This was all good to me until he critized the pevious idea where others feel they're trapped or they're born in the wrong bodies (he compared this feeling, wich is a reality for many, to science fiction). He has his own reasons to think that his way is better than the others but... am I the only one seeing a problem here?

Is it really, the "trapped in my body", "born in the wrong body" narrative, bad, wrong or oppresive??
He is the main moderator on this blog I'm talking about and the facebook page, and the fact that he imposes his own narrative into others, saying that if you feel the other way you're "wrong" or whatever really bothers me...

[Carrie Liz]

There's always a problem when people start thinking that their own way of seeing the world is somehow more "right" or "correct" than others' way and assuming that they know more about them than they know about themselves.

And, well, in regards to saying that the "trapped in the wrong body" narrative is wrong, my response is this: "easy to say for someone who doesn't experience body dysphoria."

Trans narratives are always filtered through people's individual experiences. And although they often share common threads, they are very diverse depending on when someone started experiencing dysphoria, when they realized it, what aspect of their identity gender it was that they most strongly wanted, and the differing targets and strength of their dysphoria, plus how their own unique personality allowed them to cope with it. As someone who showed very little gender-noncoformity as a kid, my narrative is completely different from someone who knew since their earliest memories. As someone who does experience body dysphoria, my narrative is completely different from someone whose primary problems were social or expression related. As someone who deals with social anxiety issues, the fact that I repressed myself so much adds into the differences.

And, well, we tend to have problems when people with a different set of problems try to tell other people with a completely different set of problems that they're wrong.

You're your own unique person.

[suzifrommd]

There is no right or wrong way to be trans. Period. It's ok for us all to be who we are.

That being said, I have a serious problem with anyone, cis or trans, who will say "you don't feel <whatever> so you're probably not trans". I have seen too many posts like that (fortunately the mods are usually all over them in a hurry).

I also have a personal problem with media that seems to favor the trapped-in-the-wrong-body-always-knew-severe-dysphoria narrative because it reassures people that we're doing the right thing, while the genderqueer-uncertain-happy-with-our-body-but-want-to-make-it-whole narrative makes people uncomfortable that we might be delusional and will regret our transition.

The lack of my personal narrative represented in media kept me from understanding my gender for decades.

[awkward-shark]

That being said, I have a serious problem with anyone, cis or trans, who will say "you don't feel <whatever> so you're probably not trans". I have seen too many posts like that (fortunately the mods are usually all over them in a hurry).

I also have a personal problem with media that seems to favor the trapped-in-the-wrong-body-always-knew-severe-dysphoria narrative because it reassures people that we're doing the right thing, while the genderqueer-uncertain-happy-with-our-body-but-want-to-make-it-whole narrative makes people uncomfortable that we might be delusional and will regret our transition.

You're totally right. It is true that the lack of diversified narratives in the media somehow makes it harder for some trans-folk to understad their own identities. I thought that, because I didn't felt 100% male or because I didn't want to be like the regular guys I saw on my daily basis, I couldn't be trans. I did feel trapped, but I didn't know where I wanted to go and what were my options (I also was pretty damn scared of comming out even to myself).

That being said, and as Carrie said, it doesn't help ANYONE to say that there's only one way of being trans.

[rosinstraya]

You and your life are the "narrative". Not the other way round! 

[awkward-shark]

You and your life are the "narrative". Not the other way round!

I love the idea of a narrative that never ends! A narrative that is alive just as I am alive