An introduction

[beurry]

Hi everyone. I'm only beginning to explore the rabbit hole of "am I transgender?" I've asked a lot of questions of myself as of late.

I'm 40 and live in a large metro area. I have a very stable career and will be soon accepting a new position with a significant promotion. My age and career are potentially the things that scare me the most about a possible future transition.

At this stage, I'm only just now beginning to dress as female at home to "see how it feels". Baby steps, is all I can say.

[Laura_7]

Hello and welcome 

Here are a few resources that might help:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,194986.msg1737439.html#msg1737439

and here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1740788.html#msg1740788

Well you might look for a good gender therapist...
someone to help you along...

hugs

[beurry]

Thank you. I wrote and edited my introduction a few times, and I edited out that I have actually started seeing a local transgender therapist, so at least I've taken that necessary step.

Thanks for the links, and the advice.

~B

[Rachel]

Welcome to Susan's

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[V M]

Hi Beurry 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Mariah]

Hi Beurry, welcome to Susan's. Please feel free to ask all the questions you like. It's true it's a marathon and it's good to see your taking it at a pace your comfortable with. It's something I had to learn early on and now just go with the flow of it. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

[katrinaw]

Warm welcome to Susan's Beurry

Baby steps are good, unless the need is really pressing you'll find your best transition speed...

Oh and good luck with the new role

Look forward to seeing you about the forum's

L Katy 

[Jacqueline]

Welcome beurry,

It looks like you have a good start. Baby steps are a healthy way to go. There seems to be less regret later when approaching the rabbit hole that way.

Job and age are two things that seem to worry many of us. Job, well, have you checked to see what your State and City's policies are? Have you checked to see what your company's is? While it doesn't make the interpersonal any easier, it is a pretty easy thing to see if you are legally supported.

I read awhile ago a post on here. They suggested that no matter the age, every transgender person approaching transition wish they started earlier. 60's, 50's(yup thats where I am and so wish I had realized sooner),40's, ....right on down. The post had quiped that if they started hormone blockers at 7, they wish they could have started at 4. Bottom line you will hear again and again is that it is never too late if you need to. I hate how I think I look and am not presenting in public yet myself. However, I don't know that I have a choice. If I didn't make this step, I am not sure I could pull myself out of a self destructive spiral.

On a brighter note. There are a lot of people who are supportive at many steps of the transition here. Welcome, join in and don't be afraid to ask both hard and seemingly easy questions.

Wishing you love, acceptance and a smooth journey.

With warmth,

Joanna

[beurry]

I've been seeing a therapist now for several weeks, and one of things that's come up is genital disassociation, and how living as a gay man who was exclusively bottom was, perhaps, a way of expressing my sexual self, without thinking about potential gender concerns.

I would assume this is the type of discussion appropriate for the sexuality forum?

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. As you should know gender identity and sexual preference are separate from each other but when considering the transition you need to understand what you will be giving up and gaining on the sexual side. Therefore it is an important subject to discuss and the sexuality form would be a good place to discuss it. It is a bit of a balancing act keeping it clean and discussing something of that nature but the topic has discussed by others before you.

I for one don't worry about that because we all had ways of coping, resisting the truth and trying to find comfort while dealing with an enormous pressure. We were born with this problem and it is biological in natural and not mental. We can't find a reason inside ourself why we are this way because we were made this way. We coped how ever we could. As you explore this site, you will find everybody found ways to live with it and many decided they didn't need surgery.

You just need to answer two simple questions.
Who do you want to go to bed as?
Who do you want to go to bed with?
The answer to these questions are your future.

[beurry]

You just need to answer two simple questions.
Who do you want to go to bed as?
Who do you want to go to bed with?
The answer to these questions are your future.

The "with" has always been men. The "as" has always been, in reality, as a male, too. What has been more apparent to me is that I chose that as a default since that's what I physically was. When it came to how I fantasized and "behaved" (note: I realize that is totally loaded with all sorts of gender & sexual role assumptions), it was always "as" a woman.

But the answers to those questions have become incredibly clear to me over the last few years, which is exactly what drove me to seek out therapy.

Thanks for breaking down things succinctly.