Tiny First Steps

[thorhugs]

So far I haven't been able to do much, but the tiny things I have done have prove to have great results. I don't yet have the funds for a binder, but I had a gift certificate that allowed me to get a couple of sports bras (I hadn't owned one for over a decade). And when I toss a sweatshirt over that (thank you cooler weather), I'm way more comfortable than I had been.

I've told my girlfriend and a few close friends. To mostly positive results. Though usually it's just been an "okay" without much comment.

A week or so ago, a delivery man called me "sir" when I'd just stumbled out of bed to answer the door in my pajamas. So I guess that's something to remember once I start facing the daunting task of living openly.

Though the biggest stride made (apart from telling people) was nothing conscious. It was a dream. My dreams tend to be rather involved stories (a result of being a writer of sorts, I suppose). So I won't go into the full details of it. But I was in this argument on behalf of a female friend with the friend's father. Righteous fury type stuff. And I shouted something along the lines of "I'm just glad I was never your son!" at him. Afterwards it was a lot of "oh god, I actually said that. He's gonna know, my friend's gonna know..." But I felt pretty great about it when I woke up.

Does anyone else have tales of their tiny first steps? I love hearing them.

[November Fox]

My first steps were as genderfluid/genderqueer, so I'm not sure if it's exactly the same, but they led me to where I am now I had actually watched this short clip Ruby Rose made about gender fluidity and that caused me to buy a binder and then later on, a packer.

But then I realized that I probably wasn't genderfluid because I just felt horrible about the entire "female side". I did have a dream that I had had chest surgery and just woke up in my bed, looked at my chest and thought "huh, not bad". Then I woke up for real

Congrats on your first steps.

[Peep]

My first steps so far have been buying lots of boxer shorts lol it's a slight obsession. I cleared out my wardrobe and donated anything i don't want to wear again. I'm planning on buying a binder if/when i get some cash.

The thing is i think I'm nearly out of tiny steps and the only things left are the bigger ones...

[Escher]

Congrats, Thorhugs!

I'm in just about the same stages as you so I can relate to the excitement you're feeling. I'm only out to my girlfriend, therapist, and a couple of friends... oh yes... and ya'll.

I cut my hair short about a month ago and I got my first binder and packer recently. I'm thrilled with those purchases. It's hard to know how I was able to get on without them.

My little strides include growing out my leg, armpit hair, and eyebrows. I've also recently started a pretty intensive workout plan for myself to create more of a triangular shape in my shoulders and torso. I'm starting to see some results already, although I know there is still a long road ahead. I suppose that road is motivational for me.

I was called "sir" at the grocery store the other day for the first time which was cool. In the moment it felt odd but afterward it made me feel even more empowered. 

One step at a time... Rock 'n' roll, brother \m/

[captains]

Dude, proud of you.


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[thorhugs]

November Fox: I actually did something similar at first, though mine was more vague. I think it was me just not able to admit things to myself, saying my gender was just a shrug until I could finally accept that I wanted out of the female side of things entirely.

Peep: The binder's a big one. And I'm looking forward to having the funds for one myself.

Escher: Oh wow, a workout. Good luck, man. I'm still so far away from steps like that. I'm also a giant weenie when it comes to strenuous activity.

Captains: Thanks, bro!

And now, more tiny steps. I finally did a new self portrait (which I'm confident enough to use as my new icon here). It also marks the first time I've drawn myself without opaque lenses to hide my eyes. Whether that's more to do with my skill or my identity is anyone's guess.

I changed my gender listing for my profile, now that I'm not feeling so hesitant.

Part of that has to do with going on a job interview yesterday. Which is usually an utterly terrifying experience. But I decided to go with the more masculine side of things. I ditched any attempt at makeup (which always made me uncomfortable), did my hair up like it is in the portrait. Made my chest as flat as I could without a binder. I still had only a feminine cut button down to wear over slacks and boots. But for the first time in my entire adult life, I walked into an interview without being worried about my appearance.

That has me wondering if what I've been assuming to be social anxiety is in part something else. But that is a pondering for a completely different time and thread.

[Peep]

That has me wondering if what I've been assuming to be social anxiety is in part something else. But that is a pondering for a completely different time and thread.

I think about this too...

Also: I came out to my mum, making a gp appointment tomorrow...

[thorhugs]

More small steps, more changes. It's been a pretty full week for me, I guess! I figure I'll keep using this thread for this stuff, cause I need somewhere to talk about it and don't want to make a bunch of threads.

I finally got some funds and bought my first binder. Decided on a GC2B tank binder after looking at reviews. I'm excited to receive it.

A slightly larger step: I came out to my online group of friends. And overall the reaction a complete and utter lack of surprise, but also super supportive. So that's good.

I'm also close to picking a new name for myself. There's one that's kind of stuck and resonated, but I want to run it by a few people first.

[thorhugs]

And another few small steps have been taken. Apart from the name thing (that I talked about in another thread), I came out to a few of my close friends to great results.

And I got my first guy underwear. Boxer briefs. They fit like I've always dreamed of underwear fitting! (Women's underwear never really felt comfortable). Now if only my job could start so I can replace all of my underwear!

[Empty Miroir]

I'm happy for you dude, it's nice to see other artists here. Keep up the baby steps, they're motivating to read.

[Peep]

afdssfsdsd I love boxers, you don't realize how sharp and scratchy all that lace stuff can be til you start wearing something else

[thorhugs]

afdssfsdsd I love boxers, you don't realize how sharp and scratchy all that lace stuff can be til you start wearing something else

Seriously! I just wore the most basic cotton things, and still it chaffed me in rather tender areas. It was to the point of overall discomfort that I felt weird sleeping without shorts or pj pants. But last night I slept in just underwear and a teeshirt and it was amazing. There may yet come a day where in the dead heat of summer I won't roast because I can wear as little as necessary to bed!

[Peep]

Seriously! I just wore the most basic cotton things, and still it chaffed me in rather tender areas. It was to the point of overall discomfort that I felt weird sleeping without shorts or pj pants. But last night I slept in just underwear and a teeshirt and it was amazing. There may yet come a day where in the dead heat of summer I won't roast because I can wear as little as necessary to bed!

Even the basic ones have to have these little frilly bits it's crazy...
I also think ladies panties seem to be tighter (and if you buy a size up they fall right off...) which is probably bad for the tender areas. Also, not always cotton. Sweaty.

I'm still weirdly happy about mens' jeans having pockets you can actually get your hand in

[thorhugs]

OH MAN. Yeah, women's underwear was always too snug. And was always cut wrong. Like, nope. It can't ever go on your waist, you obviously want it like down around your hips, right?

Thankfully, I gave up on women's jeans a long, long time ago. My body shape is already incredibly masculine (no hips, wide shoulders, etc) so I could never find women's jeans that fit right or felt comfortable. But now I wonder if that was less about body and more an early inclination of gender... BUT YES! Pockets are wonderful to have! Pockets big enough for a wallet or a phone!

[Peep]

I've only recently started wearing mens jeans (i actually only wore leggings for about four years, and they have no pockets...) and going out without a handbag is more freeing than i expected...

[thorhugs]

The closest I've ever gotten to a handbag is the messenger bag that I always carry. Which I am so looking forward to being able to have it sit comfortable against my chest, now. Because there is a binder that will be in my mailbox before the end of the day!

[Peep]

I had backpacks for uni but handbags for other things... it's useful to sneak food into the cinema tho, and i can fit a litre bottle of rum in my handbag...

And that's exiting! I ordered mine on saturday :3

[thorhugs]

And right after I posted that, it arrived! And it fit perfectly! And suddenly I understand all those posts about posture in a binder.....

Man, what's going to take some getting used to is how I look in the mirror. Without boobs, my gut looks bigger. BUT I've already started a better diet and exercise plan to help get rid of that. Already lost a few pounds!

[Peep]

What kind did you get? I ordered an underworks ultimate binder tank 'cause i heard the tritops roll up.

I would take the four pounds my boobs weigh on my gut instead any time lol

[thorhugs]

I got the GC2B tank. And it's super awesome.

I'd gladly give some of my extra pounds to anyone who needs it hahaha! The joys of neglecting yourself for years out of being so very uncaring about your body. Hopefully soon I'll be able to wear jeans that are 40 or smaller!