My long career and coming out, now...

[mickey.megan]

I have worked in hi-tech for 30+ years and I have been with my current employer for 16 years roughly.  I am a manager, and I work with people all over the world who know me as (making up a fake name here) Mark and I run a team of about 15 people and I have only met a few of these people face to face. My second line manager and I talk daily on the phone (we have never met).

My picture everyone knows me by is very masculine, with a beard. My voice is very masculine.

I'm not sure how this is going to work, if I come out transgender, MTF. I am very worried that my up line manager will think I've lost my mind and will lose TRUST in me because I have kept this secret (They didn't really know me after all).  I'm sure some reports will NOT want to report to me anymore, and I'm sure this could be the end of my career.

So.... is it possible to transition (come out to my family, friends, go on HRT) but remain a guy while at work?  Anyone successfully do this? Or is it better to go to HR, talk to them, tell them my story and come clean.

BTW I have looked at our HR and communities at my company and there is LGBT and Transgender communities and champions. Yet my company also has a LOT of resource actions, like yearly, and from what I hear you get on the wrong list and you are gone...

The bottom line is I need to work till I'm retirement age and I'd like to stay with my company if possible.  but I would like to live an authentic life.

Anyone deal with similar situation? how did it go?

[Dena]

The people I have worked with in the Tech industry tend to judge you more for your abilities than your personality. I took my last job in 1986 and still receive a check from them and I may be the most trusted employe. I was read pretty early in the game but they waited about 15 years before anybody said anything about it. The primary reason was because they could give me the job nobody could do or wanted to do and I would do it. More or less, I kept the money rolling in with a solid product line while the others were off creating new disasters.

If you have that type of value and you aren't demanding, you should be able to transition on the job but it is very dependent on the people you work with.

As for presenting male and work, several people on the site do but it can become more difficult as HRT takes effect. The changes in me were small enough that I could but others find HRT makes a huge difference in the face and chest.