Older Married couples, where one partner comes out Transgender

[JoanneB]

Tough choice and not a nice position to be in...I guess the question I would have for you is this

can you live "as a man, semi happy and grow old not being the real me, keeping people at a distance with my walls up and be fake, but have a family, a career." without
Harming Your Partner
Harming Your relationships
Harming Your work future (possibly due to stress of the situation)
and finally
Harming yourself?

I tried for the better portion of my adult life to "live as a man, semi happy and grow old not being the real me, keeping people at a distance with my walls up and be fake, but have a family, a career.". In answer to your questions:
No
Yes
Yes
Debatable - Emotionally harming (crippling) for sure.