I'm going full time soon

[MyNameIsElla]

Come the end of christmas I am going to go full time as a woman. I can no longer stand living in boy mode and I will tolerate it no more. So I guess my question is what should I expect after I go full time? How will people behave if I get clocked? Should I buy that can of mace I saw the other day thats pink and will I need it?

[stephaniec]

Depends on the community you live in. I live in a small suburb right across the street from a major University. It's a mix of wealthy and mid income and students. Never had a problem.

[Skylar1992]

Not many places in western culture would you need that, theres few people who would openly attack anyone, but if it gives you better peace of mind then go for it

[Mariah]

Ella, I think often it depends on where you live. People on the majority have been understanding. I know when I first started some people called me gay, but I didn't react and move on. Sometimes the best thing you can do is not react some of what they say. As far as misgendering that occurred mainly early on I generally polity corrected them. So much of how they have depends on how you react to them. I haven't needed any mace. Hugs
Mariah

[Sophieraven]

Hey, it's pink of course you should buy it, in fact buy two, lol. Will you NEED it, lets hope not.
Sophie

[suzifrommd]

So I guess my question is what should I expect after I go full time? How will people behave if I get clocked? Should I buy that can of mace I saw the other day thats pink and will I need it?

I don't generally walk in dangerous neighborhoods, so I've never felt the need for a weapon of any kind. Occasionally people have stared, but I've never encountered any being disrespectful in any way.

Congratulations, Ella. I predict you will LOVE it.

[Kayla88]

Well here in the UK people don't seem to care if they figure out I am transgender.
I never have changed my voice from male to female as I am really really struggling with it. They may get more of a  surprise when opening my mouth more than my looks but I have never met someone who is verbally abusive yet.

[TashaL]

I agree about the voice part. At first they think I'm a boyish looking girl, but when they hear me speak people usually refer to me as he. Constantly struggling with that part.

I'd say the worst part is the misgendering as it makes me feel I haven't done enough, that I need to work harder at being feminine. Then I remember none of that matters. I am who I am and I love myself. Love yourself and it will come with ease. Always smile and even those with hate will be pushed back.

[Dena]

Now I am 5'14" but in 35 years of living as a woman in California and Arizona and visiting Washington state, Oklahoma, Illinois and Nebraska I have never had anybody give me a problem. Yes I have been miss gendered a few times but that's not a pepper spray offense. I do use caution and avoid places that I know aren't safe but if you use a little common sense, you shouldn't have a problem. Also be aware of your surroundings so you can spot and avoid the unexpected.   

[FTMax]

Now I am 5'14"

Dena, that made me chuckle.

Ella, like others have said, a lot of this comes down to where you're located and what the people are like there.

In general and regardless of where you're located, my advice would be to amp up your situational awareness for a while. If you can look into a place before you go inside, take a look and see what kind of people are around. Notice if anyone gives you a bad vibe. Read the reviews on places you haven't been before you go. Listen to what people are saying around you. Most of the time, people aren't going to attack you. They may say mean things, but they aren't going to get physical. 

I only recommend carrying mace or pepper spray if it is legal in your jurisdiction, you would be comfortable actually using it, and you are afraid of being attacked outdoors. If you use it inside, you are much more likely to feel the effects of it as well (especially in smaller spaces). I wouldn't tell anyone not to buy it if it makes them feel better, but it is a lot more complicated than just point and shoot.

[Valwen]

I went full time 3 months ago with zero prep and sorta by accident. best decision I never made 🙂 I live near boston mass and so far no one has given me any trouble at all. I was ready to loose all my friends and family, to be insulted and attack regularly and instead my family seems fully accepting, none of my friends rejected me infact i have made several new one and grown closer to some of the ones I had than I ever imagined I could. No one has been deliberatly insulting that I can tell, some misgendering some things like that but no one being awful or anything.

No one has tried to hurt me either, which is good I would hurt them back, badly.

Serena

[RavenL]

Full time for little over two months now for me. Like Serena I had little time to prep for it. I'll admit I've lost a few friends along the way but in return gained other friends. Family really hasn't been an issue for me as I only stay in contact with a couple and they we're happy for me.

I've gone a few looks mainly in the beginning but next to nothing anymore. I haven't gotten any mean or hateful comments at all unless you count little kids somehow figuring me out.

I've gotten clocked a grand total of two times so far. The first one was another transgender woman who I could tell was looking for a hookup. I just did the thanks but no thanks. The second time was this week while at my work. I had a man come up to me and I first I thought he was asking about how to get hired. As he asked if I knew what the starting pay was etc. And then he started asking me if I ever wear a dress and if I had SRS yes. That set off my alarm bells and I told him maybe or maybe not and asked if there was anything I could help him with? He got the message and went away. My advice if and when you do get clocked just stay calm and realize that even cisfemales get clocked time to time.

As for carrying mace at least around here I see no need for it. Maybe if I went into the next city over during the night. But I'm the kind of person who calls it a day around 6PM. Plus the places I go to are always full of people so I really don't worry about much. Other then walking to and from my car that's when I keep myself very aware, and lock my doors the second I get in.

[QueenSwag]

First of all whoohoo! Congrats on going full time! It feels great 🙂

Secondly: yeah, it will be different. Sometimes you lose friends, but if so they weren't real anyway. Besides that, how much different your life is or how little depends on the person, place, and how comfortable they are. But the more you live your lifestyle how you want, the easier life gets, in my opinion. Nerves can be the worst. But once you are comfortable it is way easier, and liberating, and just better. Helps a lot if you have a great support network too.

[Allison Wunderland]

Non-binary, full-time. Took some time to trans, growing long hair takes time. Pierced ears (3 ea lobe), which opened all sorts of doors for me. Started really paying attention to how cisF work what they wear. Layered tops are big, work for me. Pants, various lengths, weights, styles. Big fan of zip flies open to left (women) rather than right (both gender). Same w/ shirt fly.

I can't dress like the fetish ideal I wish I were. What works for me is middle gender casual clothing. Wish I could make skirts work, but they don't. I look "man in dress" -- and gawd knows I have dresses!