feeling pretty hopeless

[orangejuice]

Not too sure if anyone's interested but I just felt like coming on here and feel like a bit of an attention seeker starting a new thread every time. Since my last post on this thread I got the all clear from a cardiologist and now I'm getting checked out by a different neurologist who's going to do a scan. He's the first Dr I've felt re-assured by. I told him I was taking Cyproterone Acetate and was getting ready to give some awkward explanation of what it was and half truth about why I was on it before he just said 'ok was that related to transgender issues?' It was such a relief and all I had to do was say yes. Basically the physical symptoms I've been having are so odd and scary that I've been pretty certain that the Cyproterone did something funky to my brain. I also suspected that I'll probably never be able to prove it, knowing how much we don't understand about the brain in the first place. His diagnosis was exactly that. He said it seems entirely possible that the Cyproterone re-wired something up there. He explained that there is a lot of conditions that they can't pinpoint physically in the body but that they suspect are brought on by some kind of change in the brain. He said he's heard people with my symptoms before and its very possible that the drug caused something to change. Luckily for me my symptoms came on pretty strong and then have very slowly started to get better over 10 months so he says I can be hopeful that will continue.

This doesn't really have much to do with being trans but I dunno I just felt like coming on. In one hand I'm really relieved by what he said but on the other I'm feeling kinda hopeless about potentially taking hormones as an option in the future. I mean it was clearly a bit of a freak reaction but maybe its something about my body that can't handle blocking testosterone without something seriously going wrong. Does anyone know what the difference between Cyproterone and Spironolactone are in the way they block testosterone?

[Dena]

I don't know how I missed this thread for so long but I did. The function of this web site is for you to talk your troubles out and for others to know the answer to provide it. Don't worry about venting because many do. I don't know the difference between the blockers, but you can transition without them and still use hormones. You may still feel the emotions that the blockers help with but blockers weren't available when I transition so we only received hormones. The other issue is development might not be as fast, but there will be development. On the other hand, even without blockers, some people seemed to block on hormones alone and developed feminine bodies quickly. I don't see where being unable to use blockers should be a major issue in transitioning.