How do you come out to your best friends?

[SarahSass]

I have a very small social group, basically I have 3 friends. I've known them since highschool and we've been through everything together, I really want to just come out and tell them that I identify as a female. Its honestly like the most nerve wrecking thing ever for me though, like when is a good time, whats a good way to put it into words?? I'm 85% sure they'll be cool with, but I still can't seem to bring myself to say anything any advice or stories of how other people have come out would help so much!

[Dena]

I don't know. I am still trying to connect with a best friend from 40 years ago but he isn't responding to my letters. I have half a mind to walk into his law office with an appointment but he is into divorce law and I never have been married. 

[SarahSass]

It's one of those things that I have to do sooner rather than later. I've been taking hormones for about a month and a half, and at some point they're going to notice something. I don't want my first conversation with them to be about how I have boobs now, you know what I mean XD

[Mariah]

I totally know what you mean Sarah. All I can do is share my experience in this case Sarah, but in the end you need to find your own way to share this journey with them. I told each of my good friends individually. I shared starting from the beginning and moving until I got to the current time. I often included things that I knew I had done that would help clue them into things that they may have noticed, but not realized why I they had occurred. If telling them out loud is too difficult maybe try telling them in a letter. Hugs
Mariah

[SarahSass]

I totally know what you mean Sarah. All I can do is share my experience in this case Sarah, but in the end you need to find your own way to share this journey with them. I told each of my good friends individually. I shared starting from the beginning and moving until I got to the current time. I often included things that I knew I had done that would help clue them into things that they may have noticed, but not realized why I they had occurred. If telling them out loud is too difficult maybe try telling them in a letter. Hugs
Mariah

Thank you for sharing your experience Mariah, and for your hugs! I think you had a really good approach! How did it turn out for you? were your friends really accepting? My biggest fear is being rejected. It was so easy with my mom despite our rocky relationship I knew that she would do anything to have me in her life so I went into that conversation knowing at the end she would know, and she would accept it. My dad is also easy, I know I can't tell him. But my friends, it doesn't feel so clear cut, like they're all I have, they're my family. If they didn't want to hang out anymore, or if things got all weird, I don't think I could take it :/

[Mariah]

It went well. My friends that I knew I could count on stayed behind me. They have been supportive and understanding. My really good friends I wasn't concerned about losing, but others that were not as good I was concerned about. Turns out I didn't have anything to worry about. I had many friends that I didn't know how it would go. I started to share and played it by ear with them. Shared more as things were going well. All friends were excepting. My friends tend to believe I'm very choosing when it comes to friends and I am. Remember rejection is the one of the biggest fears we all have and is normal to to feel that way. Hugs
Mariah

[SarahSass]

It went well. My friends that I knew I could count on stayed behind me. They have been supportive and understanding. My really good friends I wasn't concerned about losing, but others that were not as good I was concerned about. Turns out I didn't have anything to worry about. I had many friends that I didn't know how it would go. I started to share and played it by ear with them. Shared more as things were going well. All friends were excepting. My friends tend to believe I'm very choosing when it comes to friends and I am. Remember rejection is the one of the biggest fears we all have and is normal to to feel that way. Hugs
Mariah

I'm glad that you were able to keep your friends, having a good support group is really important. I hope that things go just as well for me

[Mariah]

Me too. I hope things go just as well for you. Hugs
Mariah

I'm glad that you were able to keep your friends, having a good support group is really important. I hope that things go just as well for me

[Chrissy5946]

So, after less than a week, after officially accepting my transgender life moving foward, I went to my best friends and told them my news. It was emotional, but relieving and empowering for myself.
I have come to realize this, the only people who really understand me are people like me. Friends here on the Forum understand me, I suppose society's normal population if educated enough on Transgendered people could understand me if they desire to, otherwise they really can't relate, because there assignment at birth matches there given body.
I will not live my life not being honest with my family and close friends, they need to know.

[GammaHunter]

I came out to my two closest, and best friends by e-mail, while talking to them. The first thing they asked me was what they call me now. They started referring to me as male almost immediately, and I simply couldn't believe it. My other friends all know now, and I still can't quite wrap my head around how well they reacted. Like, I'd prepared myself for the worst, and ended up with the best. Made me realise just how wonderful my friends are, and how much I love them.

[audreelyn]

Heyyy!

My approach was quite similar to Mariah's; I sat my friends down one by one for what would seem like a typical meal/hang out. Toward the end of the hang out, I had a line that would queue them into the less light-hearted and certainly more heavy topic of conversation which was: "hey so I have something to tell you, it's really important to me and your friendship is important so I think you should know."

That way you can get started with telling them. It's also important to mention how you would like your friends to respond so that you're on a the same page; whether it involve different gender pronouns or social situations it would be a good time for a quick basic 101 on where to go. Talking is definitely more difficult than email, but I think it clears the air faster, and you feel much better than having to wait for a reply.

Good luck and I hope your friends stick with you, Sarah!

[CrysC]

My approach was the same as Audreelyn and Mariah.  I went through them one at a time.  The first time I did it via email.  That led to a near immediate phone call though which was better and from then on I did it in person or on the phone.

Initially I was quick and blunt but that was not the best.  Too much too fast.  Instead I learned to lead into this as a medical issue that i have been dealing with for my entire life that has just gotten worse and worse to the point where I had to get doctors involved.  I have been treating my issue now for a while but doing so has some consequences.  I tell them it's called GID which is Gender Identity Disorder and it means exactly what they think it does.  I then talk about how my brain is neither male nor female physically.  I'm hard wired this way.  After this point the Q&A begins.  I recommend you don't talk about medical treatments or surgery if you can avoid it. 

Anyhow, long story short, all my friends are supportive and took it okay.  My oldest friend is having the hardest time but he said it changes nothing and that we are friends for life.  Friends are people who love you for who you are.  Family is harder at least in my experience. 

Good luck Sarah.  I hope things work out.

[Obfuskatie]

Don't do it my way, I tortured myself for over a year with mine. It's easier to deal with the results than dread them.
Plus, it kinda sux to not trust your friends and preemptively withdraw from them.

     Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[LizardFaceLizzy]

Well, one time I got really drunk at a party and blurted it out in front of like all my friends at once and then passed out on the floor. 
While you could do that, it's probably a bad idea.

You could facebook post it, it's really impersonal so it might not make people feel uncomfortable as individuals, but then you also risk coming out to people you don't want to know yet.

[ajthomas]

After highschool, I actually isolated myself from the small group of friends that I had, except for one. At the time, it was okay. I would always find solace in the internet and the friends that I would make over there. When I came out, the one friend had moved back into town. I texted her with my feelings and all she said was "Okay." We met up that afternoon and I explained it more to her in detail. Since then, she's been great. After her, I gradually came out to everyone and then lastly, my work boss. All these worst case scenarios come up in your mind that you think might happen if you tell them. It's scary, but sometimes it works out really well.

Just like any relationship, and in the words of Jessie J, "Those who matter won't mind, those who mind won't matter".