Halloween Costumes

[Allison Wunderland]

"Halloween is probably not the optimal occasion for resolving gender presentation issues."

Here's the deal: If you decide to "wear a costume" for Halloween, you're likely to disclose that you dress better in drag than most other men in the dress. Once you disclose what's "in your closet" it's impossible to "un-ring the bell."

Halloween is not a good day for cross-dressing, because it discloses NOT that you're in costume, but rather that you're trans-gender.

If that's not the statement you want to make, don't expect that Halloween is going to give you a one-day free pass.

[Lady_Oracle]

I think that just depends on how you go about it and the kind of crowd you'd be around, a group of middle aged adults will interpret it one way where as a group of 20somethings will have a totally different perception.

[Allison Wunderland]

It's not a costume . . .

It's who I am, today, tomorrow.

If not ready to open the door on that orientation, Halloween is not a "free pass" -- You don't get to present your authentic orientation one day, and the next day pretend like it never happened.

You're opening a door that cannot be closed. That's all I'm saying.

If you're comfortable with your presentation, go for it.

If we're not ready to present, Halloween can be a bad idea for "coming out" -- because we can't necessarily deny how we present, and it's not a "costume" for us.

[Allison Wunderland]

-- that said . . .

I'm seriously weighing the idea of full-boat female presentation -- hippie matron, I have a nice print cotton jumper, coordinated tops, sandals . . . It's likely that people will not realize "cis-M" at first glance.

And November 1, I'm altogether fine with, "That's how I feel on a good day."

But I think I will probably be somewhat uncomfortable in a jumper all day. Cis-F locally do not wear a lot of dresses, skirts. It's more practical to wear some sort of pants at the beach.

I can do that too . . . 

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh wait a sec . . . I'm doing it right now! LMAO

[Jill F]

Before I came out, I never once dressed in female attire, even for Halloween.  Deep down, I knew that would be tantamount to coming out.

In high school I had a math teacher who dressed himself as a woman every Halloween.  I later became good friends with his daughter who told me that "It wasn't just Halloween" and that it was a pretty regular occurrence at home.

As much as I wanted to hit that release valve once a year, my desire to take my deepest, darkest secret to the grave always won out.   

I had a friend that I grew up with who also liked to crossdress sometimes on Halloween.  He was also one of the most hyper-masculine guys I ever met.  Motorcycles, 4X4 trucks, outdoorsy, hunting, etc.   He was also very much a loner and it was hard for us to ever get him to leave his house or socialize.  I just read his obituary. 

I wonder if he took a secret to the grave.

[Lady_Oracle]

Yeah do whatever feels best, I totally understand where you're coming from. Before I transitioned I considered doing it but never went through it with for the same reason of what you're saying about opening that door publicly. The people around my area are highly conservative and religious so yeah I was too afraid to do it. I didn't want to deal with the potential ugliness that could of resulted. I did start living part time eventually prehrt and I'd go to the mall as me and around town. I got a lot of stares and a few people laughed at me but I'm glad I chose to do that instead of on Halloween since I was taken more seriously and gendered correctly at times, like when shopping and stuff. It helped with giving me the "i don't care what anyone thinks mindset" so basically it set me up for the harder things I had to face in my transition cause getting through that was pretty rough.

[Peep]

I dressed up as my partner a few years ago

I do wonder why he wasn't surprised when i came out???

[Allison Wunderland]

I recall too that when "in drag" it's inevitable that people want to check out "how complete." This a boorish way to ask about the lingerie.

It's not a costume.

Past couple Halloweens I've costumed up as "Bubba" -- macho redneck male. No one locally realizes it's a costume! LMAO

[suzifrommd]

"Halloween is probably not the optimal occasion for resolving gender presentation issues."

Here's the deal: If you decide to "wear a costume" for Halloween, you're likely to disclose that you dress better in drag than most other men in the dress. Once you disclose what's "in your closet" it's impossible to "un-ring the bell."

Halloween is not a good day for cross-dressing, because it discloses NOT that you're in costume, but rather that you're trans-gender.

If that's not the statement you want to make, don't expect that Halloween is going to give you a one-day free pass.

I agree wholeheartedly, Allison. The year I was secretly going out as a woman, I opted not to do it for halloween, because I figured people would rib me for it, not realizing they were putting down the real me.

[Allison Wunderland]

Stay safe --

On a lot of social-cultural levels.

It's not a costume for us. It's who we are.

Halloween is about wearing COSTUMES. -- not a fee pass.