Childhood Series, Ongoing

[Chrissy5946]

I would like to start a series of Childhood moments, things I did as a child that ,we're indicative of my Transgenderness, although being young and back in my day, not even knowing what was really going on. Hope you can chime in if you like. Bear in mind, I'm old, so it may be the younger ones can't relate because of the generation gap, but please chime in regardless. I have thick skin.

So, as a child starting around 7 or 8 yrs old (1967) I was extremely emotional. I remember my parents concern and absolute exhaustion with my outbursts. I would almost daily have meltdowns, and ultimately end up crying, screaming, race up the stairs to my room, lock the door and jump in bed and cry my eyes out. I most times cried myself to sleep. My parents were loving and tried to console, but after years of this on and off, it wore them down, and they stop trying to help, which I didnt understand, but now thinking back who could blame them.
I cannot remember what brought these on, boys cry, but are early on taught to be tough, " boys don't cry" attitude. I was pissed, I wanted to cry whenever, I'm was emotional for a reason. In my day I don't even know if they knew who or what transgender ism was, I suspect not.
I do not regret all my tears, they were needed, to get me where I am now, in acceptance for my female core.
Chrissy

[capnkyler]

Your idea of a 'Childhood Series' is interesting; I'll keep an eye on this thread. [emoji5]️ In the meantime, I'll add my own memories to the mixing pot.

I am the second child of five - one older brother and three younger sisters. Instead of playing with my sisters as a child (who are far closer to me in age than my brother), I would always tag along with my brother. We would build things with the legos, play with our cars and trucks, wrestle, play basketball, and toss a football around. I distinctly remember one afternoon, when him and I were tossing around a football in my grandma's front yard (he was teaching me how to throw a spiral) when I was about seven or so, and he looked at me and said, "You know, you're really a boy trapped in a girl's body." Of course, I had no idea what he meant. He probably didn't realize the gravity of it either. But he was right. Really right.

Eventually, he got older and didn't want to hang out with his younger sibling anymore, which made me sad. I still tagged along when I could, but for the most part, I was alone. I played with my sisters, only when they were getting into mischief. We climbed trees, went on 'adventures' in the backyard (there was always a foreign land full of danger and i would be the hero that saved my sister from it with my sword xD). I didn't care for dolls or dressup so when it came time for that, I usually went to read or something.

One last clear moment that I can remember was when I was a bit younger, maybe six, and I went to my dad's house for the weekend. He bought my cousin and I the movie, Mulan, to watch. I loved it. I was fascinated with how a girl to just turn into a boy and be the hero and it sounded like a great idea to me. So...after watching the movie only a hundred times, I locked myself into my dad's bathroom, looked in the mirror, and started hacking at my hair. Let's just say...it didn't come off as smooth as in the movie. When my mom asked what happened to my hair, I told her that my dad did it because he wanted me to look like Mulan. [emoji23][emoji24]

If only it were that simple.


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[AnamethatstartswithE]

ooh I like this idea.

When I was very you (Kindergarten age) I was really into superman, I even had superman pajamas. One weekend my parents rented Supergirl (that terrible 1984 one where she forgets that she can fly, and fights an invisible monster because they had no money). I saw it and was like superGIRL? The next day I decided to secretly try to dress up like her. Her costume is the same as superman from the waist up, but with a red miniskirt. (Incidentally a short billowy miniskirt on someone who flies seems like a really poor choice) So decided to try to make the skirt out of a pair of red shorts I had and some red bandanas. While I was trying to figure out how to do this my sister walked into my room with one of her friends and was like "What are you doing?"

I don't know why but I was deeply ashamed of what I was doing, I knew it was "wrong." So I started sputtering and her friend said "you were trying out ways to dress like superman?" and I said yes and felt very relieved. My sister then just relayed whatever message she was giving me from our mother and left. I guess that was my first abortive attempt at letting my feminine side out.