I am going on the offensive...

[LizK]

I had another terrible nightmare last night the first in nearly two weeks but this was absolutely out there on its own as far as impact goes. Best thing is I don't remember the details the worst thing is it has left me feeling dysphoric which in turn makes me grumpy and angry. It feels like I have been under attack all day despite seeing my therapist although seeing her has helped me decide to go on the offensive against these feelings much of which comes from male conditioning and rather than as I always have before...cave in and not defend myself. I am going to set some small goals each couple of weeks until I achieve the presentation I want. At my therapist request I am going to keep a diary of my moods/episodes in relation to the changes I make.

I am going to femme things up just that bit more and make a conscious effort to go for a more androgynous but slightly femme look. I have only ever looked at women's style and cut of clothing with any interest so my male wardrobe is...well...boring to say the least and nothing is particularly suitable. But I will rectify that...time to go shopping I think

First task is to find a pair of women's jeans that fit, I think hipsters would be the go as I am more likely to get a better fit, I am not carrying much in the way of weight but where I do carry it is right in front...no fat anywhere else...just there...when I was actually at my goal weight of 85 kgs (many moons ago) someone told me I still looked like a turtle with its head on backwards...nice..

It feels empowering to be able to actively make a decision about how I present to the world...now doing it is another thing and for many of you I am sure you can remember those first few tentative steps...well that's kind of me...I have been out and about en femme and at home but have never blended my male and female into one consistent form of daily dress to present to the world any changes I have made have not been obvious. I intend to start small but my goal for the fortnight is... I would like to have at least 3 outward things I have changed and now wear or do consistently as part of my everyday presentation.

This is going to be interesting to say the least and a bit of fun too.

Sarah T

Edit: I am going to keep this thread going with updates as I make changes and someone notices and if no one does, will update in a fortnight.

[Melanie CT]

Sarah
I wish you all the best taking the offensive. Reading this helps inspire me to do more. I am having feelings and thoughts of doing more and hearing you are moving forward helps so much.

Thank you


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[LizK]

Thanks Melanie

I have been very passive when it comes to dealing with my Dysphoria mainly because I didn't know what to do. Whilst I am a long way from being able to go full time I am not going to let the grass grow under my feet :-) If I can't manage to wear a little eye liner and present myself to my family then I have no hope doing it in a skirt. ha ha Baby steps baby Steps



Sarah T

[Peep]

Sounds like a plan! Good luck :)

[Jacqueline]

Sarah,

Taking control is a great feeling. It can also be a little scary. I do think it is a good choice.

Good luck.

With warmth,

Joanna

[LizK]

Thanks Peep and Joanna,

I started this morning with blue jeans, women's apricot scoop neck t-shirt, eye liner. Here is one thing I have found out that I really do like and really helps me is perfume...nothing like ducking your head under your jumper/t-shirt to get a waft of perfume, it is really quite calming for me especially when the Dysphoria is loud and won't leave me alone. Doesn't work all the time but it does help.

Thanks Girls

Sarah T