Hey everybody,
It's been a while since I posted anything, not like I'm a regular poster or anything lol. Back around mid may around my 6 month mark on hrt I posted a topic on my fear and regret. I was an absolute depressed wreck at the time mainly talking about missing my old family life and worrying about my two young boys. I saw my doctor around that time and switched back to a lower dose because I honestly just didn't know all around if I still wanted to pursue transition or anything else for that matter. From then until now I've been all over the place and I've come to I guess "realize" so much.
First off I decided to seperate from my wife for a multitude of reasons besides anything trans related that I won't even begin to go into and I needed to remind myself that. Regardless of if I transitioned or not it was beyond for the best that I decided to separate from her. A part of me will always miss that family life but I'll always have what good memories their were. Next, where my boys are concerned the words of someone who posted in my depressing thread comes to mind. Something about being the one to teach them about being transgendered and how their are many different kinds or people in the world and all that jazz. Also of course just most kids wanting to see you happy so you can be the best parent you can be.
Anyways before I start being the ramble queen let me wrap this up. A little over two months ago or so I went back up to my higher dosage and over the past few weeks I just find myself progressively continueing to feel happier and happier each passing day. Everyday I just find myself more and more finally starting to feel like myself. The mental changes on hrt must really be kicking into gear let along physically recently Ive even been happier with even if that still is chugging along lol. All in all I guess I just wanted to say all this for anyone who might be struggling with the infamous "wtf I am doing moments" which seem to be very popular around that 6 month mark. I'm sure I'll still have my fair share of dark times still to come in the future and I still have a million and one things to work out (mainly my divorce *cough* lol) I'm going to try to not let anything get me down from here on out the best that I can. Well, I guess that about wraps it up. I hope someone maybe feels alittle better after reading this.
