Got My Letters For Surgery, Feeling Scared

[chuufk]

The biggest pain I had was from the pressure garment, not the surgical site. My pain was controlled with 2 paracetamol every 4 hours, that was enough.

It is soft tissue surgery in a fairly insensitive area of the body. There may be one or two places down there that are super-sensitive but you have spent years sitting half your body weight on that area in all sorts of rough surfaces and it rarely bothered you.

Toothache is a worse pain than what I went through.

[Rose City Rose]

So here's what I gather:

1. I'm at a relatively low risk for complications.
2. I'm generally a good candidate for SRS aside from weight issues.
3. The pain is typically not bad at all except for complications.
4. I'm right to ask lots of questions when I get my consultation.
5. If I'm more comfortable with a vagina, then it's probably going to be an improvement even if I can "muddle through" with male parts.

Anything else to consider?

[Cindy]

So here's what I gather:

1. I'm at a relatively low risk for complications.
2. I'm generally a good candidate for SRS aside from weight issues.
3. The pain is typically not bad at all except for complications.
4. I'm right to ask lots of questions when I get my consultation.
5. If I'm more comfortable with a vagina, then it's probably going to be an improvement even if I can "muddle through" with male parts.

Anything else to consider?

GRS doesn't take away life issues.

Learn how to enjoy your life!

That is the main consideration with, or without surgery.

That said, most women are very happy post surgery.

So enjoy!!

[chuufk]

GRS doesn't take away life issues.

This is an important point. GRS solves ONE problem only - all your other problems stay with you.

Learn how to enjoy your life!

Indeed. Too many people focus on transition and when it is done they feel lost and some even get depressed. Living our lives should be our primary goal.

So here's what I gather:

1. I'm at a relatively low risk for complications.
2. I'm generally a good candidate for SRS aside from weight issues.

Lose weight if you can. In the UK many surgeons want your BMI under 30 and prefer under 28. I asked why out of curiousity (my BMI is 25) and I was told that the results are better. Excess fat in the surgical area means skin has to be stretched more when it is being stitched back together and that puts stress and strain on things, also the surgeon has an easier time if (s)he does not have to go through layers of fat to get to the tissue for surgery.

3. The pain is typically not bad at all except for complications.

That was my experience. 5 weeks later and I have some swelling and sitting can be a little uncomfortable unless I shimmy around until I feel a good spot to sit on. Uncomfortable, not sore. It improves every day.

4. I'm right to ask lots of questions when I get my consultation.

If the surgeon is unhappy with you asking questions then look for another surgeon. It is important that you understand what you are getting into and what you can expect. For example, my first view of my new vagina was a bit of a shock - I had forgotten just how swollen it was going to be. Now it looks much better and continues to improve.

Anything else to consider?

Eat a well balanced diet and get as fit as possible before surgery. If you are reasonably fit then you will recover better and faster. You probably have some months to wait so start exercising to remove that excess weight and avoid alcohol and junk food.

One final thing - make a point asking about whether genital electrolysis is needed. Some surgeons need it, some do not but it can be important depending on technique.

[Dena]

5. If I'm more comfortable with a vagina, then it's probably going to be an improvement even if I can "muddle through" with male parts.

Anything else to consider?

I had money issue and was 2 years RLE. When I had had the funds and the time for surgery came, I realized that in the second year I became secure enough in the female role that I would never return to the male role. If you have any doubts that are causing the fear, consider delaying the surgery. I feel that had I not spent the additional time, I might have been doing that adjustment post surgical. As it was, I entered surgery with everything cleaned up so I could start my new life with a clean slate.

[MugwortPsychonaut]

I really don't know what you mean by "running away from a penis."  Could you explain that?

Picture a thirty-foot penis chasing you down the street.

[Sharon Anne McC]

*

Allow my first impression to this post to recall that I knew that the easy decision was my correction surgery.  As a comparison, I wrestled with a decision whether or not to get my ears pierced to wear earrings.  The decision regarding the former was easy because I lived a life-time with that prospect as one of my life's imperatives to resolve.  Getting pierced ears was at best an incidental event that I could live without; it also represented a body modification that I had to decide fit my mental acceptance.  I did not consider my version of GCS as big a deal as ear piercing.

Getting my confirmation notification from my health insurance brought relief more than any other emotion.  Relief that this was finally happening.  Relief that I survived all the gatekeepers whom I perceived as hindrance to my correct anatomy denied to me by fate of hormonal accident.  Relief that all the decision-making power was finally mine   There was a curious unbelievability about it.  They accepted me?  For real?  FOR REAL???  YES!!!

So yes, here was my joy that finally I am the one making my decisions of the essence of my life for me, NOT someone else making those decisions.  This is my life, NOT theirs.  I spent my entire life working through this decision, NOT them.

I had no reluctance proceeding with my version of  the surgery.  I was comfortable with it because I did my homework; I read and studied all I could - medical, psychology, sociology - I knew it is what I wanted. and needed  I examined the surgical options and philosophies available for my time and opportunity (1983).  I knew my options were limited compared to nowadays.  As I frequently comment, I have no regret doing what I did, only regret that I did not do them better.  The worst of my process was deciding when and how to go full-time; deciding surgery was automatically easy.

Rose City Rose, allow me to reply to your post.

Yep, having studied, I learned there were the prospects of a botched procedure; the best surgeon can have an accident and will resolve those accidents to your satisfaction.

For the most part, I experienced few bad interactions with medical, hospital, or ER settings - pre- or post-op.  Usually, the intake is so matter of fact.  They still ask their LMP and Grava / Para questions even when they know my medical status personally; perhaps they comprehend my mental elation when they ask me my LMP and Grava / Para.

I had only one really horrid experience - it was when I was involved in a car crash.  The EMTs asked their usual questions of me as a female patient.  When I told them that I am a transsexual as an incidental part of my reply to LMP, they stript me naked on the stretcher and summoned the others to came to look at their first transsexual.  That singular, aberrant experience still hurts deep.

Embrace your decision as your own - yours and yours only - with the help of family, friends, and your medical team.

I second the other comments.  You must want this change for yourself.  You must want your new anatomy.  You must do it for your own reasons.  You must do it regardless of what others tell you to do.  Yes, you must want this as something you want, not because you are fleeing from something, but because you need this as something you need.

My experience is also as Jenna Marie's.  There are days, weeks, months that I have no thoughts of my prior anatomical irregularity and what I experienced to get my corrected female anatomy.  I am a female, I am a woman.  Until I found these message boards the past few months and began reading and sharing, I rarely put any thought or recollection to my circumstance for 30-some post-op years.

Know that if your boyfriend is a male homosexual, he will not likely enjoy you with your female anatomy because a male homosexual enjoys a male homosexual partner, not a female partner.  Again, you must make this decision for yourself, not your boyfriend.

You express concern that you could lose sexual orgasm function.  While I can be physically functional down below, I developed my satisfaction mentally; when I am so inclined in the mood, cuddling, caressing, and stroking can also be quite stimulating.

My best wishes to you.

*

[Rose City Rose]

I had money issue and was 2 years RLE. When I had had the funds and the time for surgery came, I realized that in the second year I became secure enough in the female role that I would never return to the male role. If you have any doubts that are causing the fear, consider delaying the surgery. I feel that had I not spent the additional time, I might have been doing that adjustment post surgical. As it was, I entered surgery with everything cleaned up so I could start my new life with a clean slate.

Well, I'll be at 2 years by the time I'm eligible for surgery.  At present I'm at about 22 months of real-life experience and I pass so well, I had a nurse today ask me when my last menstrual cycle was!

Every now and then I get a passing fancy for stereotypically male things, but I can't see myself presenting male as anything but a novelty costume at a party or something like that, and in that case I can only see myself dressing as a camp caricature of an Edwardian or medieval dandy.  But for me that would be like the  cis male who shows up in lolita drag at a party just for laughs; it would be nothing but a costume. It doesn't feel like "me" at all.

When I tried to live as a man, it was like wearing an ill-fitting costume 24/7.  I have training as a method actor, so I was able to get so into character that I fooled my family and myself, but it always felt weird and wrong and like any actor, I knew I was just playing a role I had been assigned.  When the curtain finally closed on that act, my fiance remarked that he never realized how terribly unhappy I was as a man until I finally embraced myself as a woman.

After almost 2 years I'm pretty certain that as far as how I wake up, go to work/class, interact with bureaucrats and cashiers and all these people who play brief but important roles in our lives, and how I am when I turn out the light at night, I can't imagine being anything but this rosy-cheeked brunette with the confident sway and her head held high I've discovered in the last two and a half years. 

[Rose City Rose]

I had only one really horrid experience - it was when I was involved in a car crash.  The EMTs asked their usual questions of me as a female patient.  When I told them that I am a transsexual as an incidental part of my reply to LMP, they stript me naked on the stretcher and summoned the others to came to look at their first transsexual.  That singular, aberrant experience still hurts deep.

Wow... Did you try to pursue that as sexual assault?  I don't know how successful the case would be but I sure as hell would go for it.

Know that if your boyfriend is a male homosexual, he will not likely enjoy you with your female anatomy because a male homosexual enjoys a male homosexual partner, not a female partner.  Again, you must make this decision for yourself, not your boyfriend.

Well, his sexuality is a bit of a puzzle.  Even he doesn't know for sure.  I suggested hooking him up with a cis woman to see if he could perform with me post-op but he's really against being with anyone but me, male or female.  I found that out when I wanted to watch a male friend give him head weekend before last and he wasn't interested.

I think the sex has become more satisfying between the two of us since I started HRT but it's not like we've had sex terribly often.  I had hoped that my libido would diminish enough on HRT to match his but no such luck; I'm a bit of a vixen really and he seems maybe just a bit on the demisexual side.

At any rate, he never did like to bottom (just as I never did like to top) which is VERY odd for a gay man (like almost all of the gay men I know prefer top or bottom but will do both). 

Also, he really likes my new breasts and the flowery scent of my freshly-washed hair which is... promising, I guess?

[Rose City Rose]

Just a quick update: feeling much less scared now. 

Unfortunately, I hit a snag with one of my letters.  OHP requires two letters from licensed PhD counselors/psychiatrists whereas my old insurance required one from a mental health provider and one from a physician.

Happily, I have an appointment lined up next Wednesday with a psychiatrist who can help me get my second letter, and I have found a clinic that will refer me for a surgery consultation once I have both letters in hand.

It's looking like I'm going ahead with this.  Lately I've been feeling extremely happy and confident as a woman and I feel like getting this surgery will basically be a finishing act to what has been an extremely successful transition. 

I'm still a bit scared, but the idea of feeling physically complete as a woman is also an exciting one.  I've been back and forth about it for years but I never have abandoned the idea and now that it's right there, I want it more than I ever have.

[WomanLikeAStar]

Congratulations!

You will have to choose who will perform your surgery or is there a certain budget you may not cross ?

If you have " carte blanche " I would go for dr McGinn. Her performances seam to be even better than dr Bowers hers .

I assume the surgery has to happen within the US to be covered?

Otherwise you should definitely choose dr Suporn of course !

SRS will only make your transition complete and wether you want it or not is totally up to you . Remember that your genitalia are a very private area so in the end no one sees them except  for your partner ( who should love you anyway )

But if you plan to persist , do yourself a pleasure , choose dr McGinn or dr Suporn , now these are artists !