What was college like during your transition?

[Toddin3D]

I've been trying to come up with a basic timeline for HRT and DI chest surgery, and I've come to realize that most of the biggest changes that I'll be going through are going to probably hit me after I transfer to a university in a year from now.

This particular university has a very sketchy population of students and borders on a neighborhood full of gangs. Unfortunately, this is the only university in my area that caters to my major.

Will I be able to ask a teacher to not call on me or give me an alternate assignment to avoid speeches because of voice changes? Will I stick out like a sore thumb in class? Goodness, so many questions. As cliched as it sounds, I also have anxiety and social issues, which doesn't help at all.

Heck, I almost cried in-class when I had to ask my teacher if I could leave early due to a migraine today. When I bid farewell to my temporarily-new group, which had a few girls that I previously thought that they hated me and maddogged me everytime I enter class, but they turned out to be really nice and friendly and hoped I get home safe. In my car, I cried because I'm so tired of constantly misreading people and feeling like all eyes are on me all the time. I can't imagine what college would be like when I actually start T.

I guess I went a little off-tangent with that last paragraph, but overall, I'm curious to know what others' experiences with college during transition were like. It kind of helps me figure out what to be prepared for and such.

[Punzie]

I'm sort of transitioning in college too, but this is based on just my general knowledge since I'm still taking baby steps with it at the moment.

Definitely email or speak with your professors before class starts if you want to specify a certain name you want to be called by. Sometimes its harder to emphasize how important the name and pronouns are to your professor, so if you don't have their email already, make sure you get it asap and contact them so they don't slip up and potentially embarrass you. You can also talk to them about alternatives to group projects or speeches as well, it depends on the professor though and usually the older they are the less understanding they will be but don't lose hope.

As for sticking out it in class, it sort of depends. In large classes with 50+ people you wont have to worry that much. People in college are somewhat accepting even in some conservative areas (unless the university is a religious one... not sure how it would differ). Most people in college are stressed enough with regular things college students have to deal with so you wont need to worry about everyone looking at you or anything of the sort. You'd only stick out if you were wearing something that isn't particularly casual or something that is too revealing. Changing the seat you sit in also makes it easier for people to not remember what you wore the day before, so if you are still developing a style towards your preferred gender there is less worry about what others think. Just remember that most of the time no one gives a second thought about what you look like, they just want to get through class and get their degree lol.

[Toddin3D]

Thanks for the reply!

Most of my classes have 45 or more students since our college likes to cram as many students into one room as much as possible, so it's a rarity to have a small class. I think the only time I had a genuinely small class was back in my first semester with my favorite history teacher. The population dropped from 42 to 19 by the time the final hit. Haha.

I'll probably start sending emails to my teachers about preferred names/pronouns when I start a new semester in 2016 because then I have new classes, new teachers, and new students to start fresh with.

Again, thanks for the reply! 

[CMD042414]

I am a counselor at a college. I am 100% out and I transitioned on the job after being known as female for 6 years. I do not know what area you are in but I will say higher education tends to be a liberal environment. Again, that can vary depending on location. Does your campus have a counseling center that can help you with the emotional, psychological and physical impact of the transition? Does your university have Safe Space/Ally training for employees? If so, check too see if any current professors are on the list. They will be understanding and sympathetic. What about an LGBTQ student club on campus, could they be of any help? Also many schools are implementing a way for preferred names to show up in your record in addition to your legal name. It is always a good idea to contact professors and let them know ahead of time about pronouns and such. Finally, I go to universities and colleges to train them on how to be more Trans inclusive. Most places want to be but have no idea how to start and are waiting for more Trans students to be visible before they make changes. I guarantee wherever you are there is someone who works there that is passionate about this. Try to find them! It could start a wave of change and even help you with your social issues. I speak from experience. Diagnosed with social anxiety when I was an undergrad. Now 12 years later I give seminars to entire rooms full of people. My experience with a student led club at my school opened my world.

If you need anything let me know.

[Kylo]

Don't know what country you're in but on the whole unis are a more progressive environment than schools and workplaces. But I'd observe tutors and stuff before you confide in them. In the past I had one or two sexist or conventional tutors that I felt wouldn't have been helpful in this kind of situation. Otherwise most of them are great people and would readily have helped me with any trans-uni related concerns.

Some things might just be unavoidable. In one uni course I did (computer related), a major assessment involved lecturing to the class on a project. There was no way to get out of that, except illness and forfeiting marks I guess. But I don't know, they could consider your situation extenuating, although personally I think shrinking from speaking is not the way to go but to get used to it and to learn to use the new voice. You aren't going to be invisible during transition nor able to avoid doing everything asked of everyone else.

[warmbody28]

it was liberating. you get to be seen as who you are and people embrace you. they even let you rush and you have a chance of getting accepted into a sorority/Frat. times are changing for the better

[SashaGrace]

I'm a trainee teacher in a high school but I've always been this way in the job; I transitioned in college but I made life easy by finishing school in guy mode and went to college in girl mode, name change done etc so I started off with new staff and friends with no preconception of old me so name and pronouns were no trouble at all.

I'm yet to deal with a trans student in the job but knowing how it feels myself, I'd be as sensitive as I could be. I'm writing an LGBT specific policy for the school I'm at right now and I'm advising staff on how to deal with it. That said, as far as they are aware, I only fit in the L category, but obviously I fit into the T category too haha

[Nattiedoll]

I'm transitioning in college right now. I'm a MTF. 20 years old in NY. I started transition in January and started hormones in May. I'm almost at my 6 month mark. I am transitioning to female but unfortunately am going to school as male. I would go to school as female tomorrow if I could but I realized it doesn't work over night especially for my situation. I live with my father who isn't supportive and can't really just show up the next day to school as a girl with my professor already knowing me as male. HOWEVER, although I'm going to college as a male I don't hide my femininity at all. I wear gender neutral clothes, makeup, and letting hair grow out. So I deff don't blend in with the guys haha I look feminine and you can see my breast buds through my shirt. Some people probably think I'm just "gay" which I am but they don't know I'm trans I guess? Some people may have an idea I have gotten stares before in class and have actually walked passed guys with them stop talking to each other and turn silent as I walk past. Although I would rather not people treat me this way some people aren't understanding so just make sure to brush it off and not take it personal because if they that to you they do it to others as well. Don't let people's thoughts or actions affect you because if they are doing that in college they are immature and should feel bad for themselves. I am closed off sometimes to people at school but when I act confident or try to talk to someone they are usually comfortable around me. College has way more accepting people than high school. The only awkward part for me is the bathroom bevause there's not gender neutral it's only men n woman.