I need a hug.....(possible trigger)

[Trillian McMillan]

I literally sat here for 10 minutes deciding weather I should reach out or not...so here it goes. A little background is in order I think. I absolutely LOVE to sing. When I hear harmony in people singing it fills my soul with utter joy. I even get emotional sometimes (more often than not now that I think about it but anyways)

I was just watching a movie and my dysphoria hit me double hard. It's never been like this watching this movie before. I mean I've seen it dozens of times and I'd only enjoy the harmony. Then this one song and dance scene came up and just started bawling!!! The hamony started it off I think and  then seeing the women dancing and singing....it was just too much! Even with voice training I can't sing in the higher octaves without a lot of pain. To top it off getting upset at this move flashed through my mind " Why am I crying to an Alvin and the chipmunks movie!?!?". It's no joke Alvin and the  chipmunks the witch doctor scene! I feel like such a dork because of it and it doesn't help.

I think that set me off because of the beauty of the harmony and then the beautiful women dancing. I don't know if I'll EVER be able to sing like a woman and it hurts.... I know I can acomplish the physical part some day, but the rest I'm not so sure about....

thanks for reading,

Emma Leah

Sent from my SM-T350 using Tapatalk

[stephaniec]

 

[Shana-chan]

What you need isn't a hug but words of comfort but of the truth. *Points to my signature* Besides those, you must remember, Rome was NOT built in a day, this is especially true for transitioning of any kind. With enough practice, training and what not, you will be able to get there someday. Just look at all those who've had to train and practice to get to where they are now, this goes for everyone, without doing so, you won't get there. Fight for what you want, never give up, fall down 7 times, get up 8. Good luck! Now, on the unlikely chance you have done everything out there (Including surgery) and haven't gotten there still, I'm sorry, I know it hurts but, it's better to not despair over it too much. Life is worth living.

[Athena]

Don't feel embarrassed for why you triggered, sometimes the smallest things can trigger something. If anything use this as motivation to push yourself (in a safe manner ) to improve.

[Lady Smith]

>>>>>HUGS<<<<<<  Transition is one step at a time remember that.  Persevere and you will get to the place where you want to be.

There is no shame in being triggered.  After all these years it still happens to me sometimes.

[Lynne]

Big hug! I feel your pain. Sounds, singing and music can influence my mood easily. Most people tend to be less sensitive about these things than I am. I still remember the first time I cried 20 years ago because I was moved by music.
I just love to listen to talented singers, it is fantastic that some people can use their own body to make such beautiful sounds.
It feels so bad that at the moment I'm not even capable of speaking like an average girl and my voice is my number one dysphoria triggering thing. It disturbs me to the point that sometimes I refrain from speaking just because I can't stand my own voice.
One of my goals in my transition is to do everything to improve my voice, even if that means that I have to spend a small fortune on surgery if the training is not enough. And there is a chance that will still not be enough but then I'll know that I've tried everything and it will be probably miles better than now anyway.

[Trillian McMillan]

Sorry I'm late responding and thank you all. I did read every response and it made me feel better. I just needed to process the situation. I can do better next time