The Voice of Your Internal Monologue

[Elaine]

This is something that's been bothering me for a good 4-5 months now... I'm working on it and it's improving, but still a bit tormenting.

My voice is fine. It's great in fact -- sounds nothing like my old one. My internal voice on the other hand is another story. You know the voice of your thoughts? The voice you hear in your head when you think something out? Yes, that one. Well, mine still sounds like my old male voice, and I want to know if this is an experience other's share.

I might have a thought in my old male voice, than when I speak out loud I sound perfectly female, and it's uncomfortable because I feel as though I'm hiding something.

I'm working on changing my internal voice but it's taking tremendous discipline. Every conscious thought I have has to be modified so that the voice I imagine sounds like my new one. Wow, is it hard! I feel that I won't be complete until I fix this (and have GRS! that's important too, haha).

Does this all sound crazy? Should I have had a female internal monologue to begin with? Do others have this problem? Do others' internal voices change immediately with their real ones? Do others' just ignore it?

[tinkerbell]

Hi Elaine!

Well, my case is the opposite.  My internal voice is what I consider my ideal voice and of course, it is how I'd like to speak all the time.  I have always had a problem with my "external" voice.  Despite the many speech therapy sessions, I am not quite there yet, but I have made a tremendous improvement nonetheless. 

Everytime I talk to someone, I try (very hard) to imitate my internal voice, and it is slowly coming along after all this time.  How do you sound in your dreams by the way?  like your normal or internal voice?  I sound like my internal voice in my dreams, and I'm often disappointed when I wake up  ...Oh well, someday I will have it perfected. 

tink

[Ms Bev]

....the voice of my internal dialogue....well!  I thought that I had thought about everything there is to think about 'me', but here you go  throwing me a curve.  How do I sound inside my own head?  I never thought about it before! 

Here.....wait a minute!






Okay.... I've been listening, and my brain's voice is.........female.  What a shock!  I think it sounds the same it has all my life.  My brain speaks with a female voice, probably always has, and I never knew it!

Hey.....THANKS!

Bev

[Kimberly]

I don't think this helps any but perhaps as a data point that things can be different. I sound the same in this context as I always have, I hadn't even considered that it might be wrong; this is simply just me. But that said, this isn't male, this isn't female this is simply just me. Now, take note that this does not sound like I do aloud, now or then, it never has. At least as I perceive it.
I hope this helps in some way.

[Elaine]

Hmm. Hmmmm. Thank you all for the replies -- they weren't quite what I expected. I feel like this might be an indicator that I'm different than the typical transwoman?

Until about 8 months ago, my voice as I spoke aloud was male. The fact that my internal voice was also male only made sense to me... I grew up with a male voice -- it's the only one I ever heard out of my mouth, so how could my internal voice be different? Conversely, how could my internal voice be female if I had never heard my female voice before? Now that my voice is female, my internal one seems to need adjusting.

So everyone else has always had a female internal voice? This is very surprising to me. I'm actually probably more intersexed than transgendered, so maybe that has something to do with it?

I have no doubts whatsoever that the choice to transition was absolutely the right one, and that I absolutely can't wait for GRS, but this voice thing makes me feel somewhat less valid.

If others could keep posting maybe we could see if I'm not alone on this?

[Hypatia]

I'm pretty sure mine is not gendered either way. Heh, it may be the only thing about me that isn't!

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Before I transitioned the voice inside my head was male...not female. That's one of the things that clued me off to the possibility that I was indeed trans.