Hi Sandy. I have some experience with this despite being pre-everything. Diet and exercise are your answers. I've approached it with the goal of shedding both muscle mass and fat. I limit my proteins (I eat meat maybe once a week) and get my proteins from eggs and beans. You want to limit your sugar intake as well because sugar gets metabolized as body fat unless there's plenty of fiber. This means dumping most drinks that aren't water.
The whole key is to keep your metabolism operating on the minimum number of calories possible. What I do is stay between 1300-1600 calories per day and get cardiovascular exercise 4 times a week for 40 minutes.
I know you asked about fitness videos and I've mainly talked about diet, but the key to your exercise is to not Carbo load or protein load for your workouts. What I do is get up and take my runs without drinking or eating anything before hand (unless my run will be over an hour, then I have a glass of water and a fruit). By running on an empty stomach, your body will burn both fat and muscle mass. This is how you can lose the love handles and masculine muscle mass. What you'll get from fitness videos is building up the feminine muscles, like your button and defining your abs, but you won't generally burn tons of fat with a lot of the videos out there. Any female geared fitness videos will give you what you are looking for from videos.
Hope this helps.
-Katelyn