As someone who identifies as non-binary, I've found that it would probably have been a lot easier for others (but not myself) if I'd come out as wanting to transition fully. I try explaining my sex never changes and that it's my gender that fluctuates, though from personal experience it seems as if there's still very much a fear of those living outside the binary system - not all of us are willing or able to present as cisgender members of society, plus we have to consider that many people don't live up to this unfair expectation despite never doing anything to consciously alter their appearance in order to feel more comfortable.
One particular roadblock I've experienced is that apart from possessing several features that mean I'm unlikely to ever "pass" without the need for highly invasive surgery that may not even be physically possible due to various problems I suffer from, my frame is just so uncharacteristic of either sex that I'm seemingly forever destined to be stuck in the middle, so to speak. My intention has never been to gender->-bleeped-<-, yet as time passes it's clear that I'll always be seen as either an effeminate man with a few typically masculine characteristics, or a male desperately trying to be a woman yet falling way short of the socially constructed mark.
My partner has been incredibly supportive ever since I came out to her, and I've always asked for her honesty, whether this is in how she's coping with my genderfluidity or what she thinks of me when I'm going all-out to present as the opposite sex. Despite previously looking to transition, I'm now more comfortable as someone who is free to switch my outward gender to fit more how I feel inside, but it seems as if the rest of the world still isn't as understanding of the difference between these two terms. I don't want to focus on specific cases, but does anyone honestly look at someone like Ruby Rose* and see a biological male?
While I have to agree that it's fantastic the media is suddenly increasing visibility of transgender people, I don't believe there is much that can be done right now to change the wider perception of anyone who either chooses to exist outside of the gender binary or lacks the ability to present as exclusively one sex/gender, even if this is their intention. That article starts off with a caption pointing out the horrible expectations I now face in my life of having to sometimes be a thin, attractive woman, as if these values alone define a woman's femininity. For these reasons, I'm resigned to accepting that for now I'll be forever perceived as simply trying.
My greatest dream is to walk among other citizens and not have people stare at me for refusing to confirm to their gender structure, being able to show up at work and be accepted for who I want to be at any given point. I've already encountered pressure to transition from so-called experts, though I certainly don't blame anyone for pushing me in that direction. The fact remains that when I first sought the advice of a therapist, there wasn't such a thing as a genderfluid flag and the transgender tipping point had yet to happen - never mind society beginning to accept at a glacial pace that there may be life beyond the rapidly outdated binary.
*I really don't mean to be unfair here, but what she feels is more honest self expression remains to be seen by most as an effort to challenge longstanding conventions. I genuinely would love nothing more than to see the day a person decides to be seen as the opposite gender and can do so in safety from ridicule or even physical hostility without being judged as either consciously trying to do so or failing miserably in their efforts. Regardless of how we present to better match the way we identify inside, it's rarely a choice for us, and the one thing we all share is that we're still humans who deserve the same rights as those comfortable in their skins.
