When to come out as trans*

[Daernorva18]

I am a 14 year old biological male. I think that I am transsexual and have suspected for almost a year. I have heard, however, that these feelings often occur during puberty and go away afterwards, so I was wondering how much longer I should wait before I tell my parents, if ever. If I am in fact transsexual, I want to come out as soon as possible but I'm not sure if it's just a phase. Please help!

[Laura_7]

Basically if its earlier treated it might be of advantage... because the influence of the wrong hormones might possibly be stopped for example with blockers...

Its up to you but here are a few resources that might be shown:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1740788.html#msg1740788
This is a letter from an accepting dad. So its from the view of a parent.
Parts of it might be shown.
Some parents have the same restraints, like he talks about: did they cause it by an upbringing...etc...

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,194946.msg1736596.html#msg1736596
There are brochures by reputable sources, for example the british NHS, showing being trans has biological connections.
Its explained with pictures. A brochure says explicitly for trans people, their families and health care staff.
If its biological its nobodys fault... and its not likely to be a phase...

Some people make a comparison with a twin... they will be like their male/female twin, with the same sense of humour...

and you might say you want to see a good gender therapist...
the gender therapist to help you along, maybe with easy reversible steps first, to help you find out how they make you feel...
so that you have someone to guide you and help you along, and no rash but appropriate steps are made.... appropriate also in your favour, so that it moves along...
you might ask at plannedparenthood or a lgbt place for counseling...
they also have email...
or look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162888.msg1400316.html#msg1400316

some people come out in a letter... or via text...

another option might be to say you want counseling, for emotional reasons (don't make something up... if you are depressed you might say so), and pick someone who has, amongst other, gender on their list... they could help with coming out...

[stephaniec]

I'd say if you can get to a therapist it would help you see where your going with this.

[suzifrommd]

I am a 14 year old biological male. I think that I am transsexual and have suspected for almost a year. I have heard, however, that these feelings often occur during puberty and go away afterwards, so I was wondering how much longer I should wait before I tell my parents, if ever. If I am in fact transsexual, I want to come out as soon as possible but I'm not sure if it's just a phase. Please help!

I haven't heard that such feelings go away. Where are you hearing that?

The fact that you are feeling urgency and that the feelings have lasted for a year would lead me to seek help now if I were in your shoes.

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. The transsexual feeling may be stronger and weaker at time but you don't outgrow it. We have people on the site who are so old that health reasons prevent them from transitioning but they still have the feeling. In my case, I first felt it at age 13 and I lived with it until age 30 when I had my surgery. I have not been troubled with the feeling in 33 years and I am very happy I made the decision I made. The sad part was it was very hard to get treatment in those days causing me far more pain that was necessary. At your age you can be put on blockers which will prevent additional sexual development and provide release from the discomfort you feel. Latter you can discontinue the blockers and return to normal development or you can continue with the transition.
My advice is to tell your parents now and get in therapy with the goal of receiving blockers. The transition will be much simpler and less painful if you don't have to undo years of male hormones. In my case, I needed to have my adams apple removed, beard removal and I am still recovering from voice surgery to undo a very deep male voice. I was one of the lucky ones as I had no body hair to deal with but there are features of my face that I use hair and makeup to camouflage.


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[Deborah]

I think usually when people say these feelings go away they are referring mainly to little children who express atypical feelings and behaviours that might fade at the onset of puberty.  Feelings that begin at puberty usually persist.  If you are feeling these things strongly then speaking with a qualified therapist to sort them out would be a good idea.


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[Nattiedoll]

Before you come out you should bring up and talk about LGBT related topics with your parents to see me how they view transgender people. After then tell them. Just my opinion you tell them when your comfortable but it's better to get it out of the way