My face and head are too big...I can't even wear my hair long, what can I do?

[lemons]

I've looked into FFS, but it seems it probably still won't solve my issues really.  I have a very very large head, it measures 23.7 inches around and all that...all the measurements I've done of it (off wig measuring sites) confirm it's in the large category.  I also think my face looks really big too...like when I notice most people their ears are closer to their faces (corners of eyes) but with my face and people with very large heads (only male celebrities I've noticed) their ears are further back, because their faces are so prominent and large:

http://imgur.com/a/XQkS4


It looks enormous like this:





As opposed to something like this, which could work in female ranges easily/work longer hair and a variety of female hairstyles:




Even Caitlyn Jenner fell somewhere in this range, because she's able to rock different hairstyles and not have a head that looks off/male for her body.

Yet I measured from ear to ear (sideburn to sideburn across face over the nose, whatever you want call it) and it's the same measurement most people would have, man or woman. (11 inches)  My head always makes me look awful in most women's clothes because it stands out like a sore thumb, not to mention I can't wear longer hair. (a wig would make my head and face look even bigger and stand out more)  Wondering if anyone else has these issues and have made it wrk...I've yet to find anyone...

[Keri]

My head is as big as yours... I had FFS with Dr. Zukowski.. and I have long hair..
There are a lot of women that are pretty that have bigger heads. like me 
I am only 5-6 but I am stocky but in shape..
Keri

[Keri]

You are fine girl.. People really look at the whole package.. I am 5-6 ish.. but am thick... so my head face and hair go with my body..If my head was smaller I might not look as good.
I am a thick girl and I love it.. ... your going to be fine.. seriously.

Sometimes we over think things and body image is an issue for trans girls.. we seem to pick at everything.. My therapist said when is good enough.. and I was like never.. kind of kidding.. so I have been treated for that body image thing.. I pass and I look better than the average girl.. so who cares if you a little bigger..
Good luck kiddo hope I have encouraged you
Keri

[lemons]

My head is as big as yours... I had FFS with Dr. Zukowski.. and I have long hair..
There are a lot of women that are pretty that have bigger heads. like me 
I am only 5-6 but I am stocky but in shape..
Keri

Yeah I've heard of enough cis and passing trans women with my head size or bigger....but none of them look like me...their bodies all seem to balance out and look proper...mine doesn't generally though...only when i wear a bandana that holds my hair down or a ski hat.

[liz]

Well, my head is even bigger than your. I can't even fit large lids. With a correct clothing and make up people tend to think that I get a tiny head.

[lemons]

Well, my head is even bigger than your. I can't even fit large lids. With a correct clothing and make up people tend to think that I get a tiny head.

Elaborate.

Also this is what I mean by big head.  My gf and I have the same sized head around but hers is thinner/not as bulky of a shape as mine all over: (I'm on the right)

[HeatherR]

I'm not sure I understand the issue?  I see two pretty girls in that photo...  We are all our worst critics and often see flaws that aren't actually there.

[kelly_aus]

I'm not sure I understand the issue?  I see two pretty girls in that photo...  We are all our worst critics and often see flaws that aren't actually there.

The problem is that lemons has some issues with her body image that no amount of cheerleading from the people here can help with. At this point, professional help would be the best option.

[stephaniec]

The problem is that lemons has some issues with her body image that no amount of cheerleading from the people here can help with. At this point, professional help would be the best option.

Without sounding in any way mean because I'm truly not that kind of person,  I totally agree with Kelly

[Roni]

My head looked "bulky" pre-transition also. I also can only wear large-sized wig caps.

I will say if you are that concerned about your head shape, there are many things I did to create the illusion of a "smaller" head. I find losing 5-10 pounds helped tremendously in feminizing my face. When buying human hair wigs make sure to opt for 80% hair density, as hair systems thicker than that tends to "widen" my face. Also always opt for a longer length cut.

As far as FFS goes, my hairline was lowered significantly, thus reducing the size of my forehead and hence the face. I also had my buccal fat pads removed around my cheek area, thinning my face out even more.

As it stands though, your head doesn't really look large at all. Remember we are often our own worst critics.

[Violet Bloom]

  My head is 23.5" around after FFS.   I can't fit in any regular-sized women's hats.  I have nipple-length long hair, and very little of it covers my forehead.  But I pass almost all the time now.  If you do get FFS your head will end up looking much smaller than mine.

  I always had self-image issues with the size of my head vs body, even as a guy, and also with the size of my ears.  In the end, I was being unnecessarily hard on myself because it wasn't as 'big' an issue as I imagined.  Forehead prominence can play a big part, although when I look around now at other people I'm seeing a lot of cis women with prominent brows.  In my case it was partially FFS and the rest doing the best I could to polish off my image and all the other subtle cues that have tipped the balance in my favour.

  I work in retail, so I get hundreds of interactions in a day where customers are verbally identifying me in conversation.  Our uniform is a bit 'de-feminizing' so I get a lot of people calling out 'sir' to my back but then correcting themselves when I turn around and they see my face.  Even with my 6'1" height I'm rarely getting gendered wrong face-on.

  I actually don't mind causing people a little confusion because if it forces them to think about it then it might actually help expand their perceptions of what constitutes a 'normal' female.  In the weird retail power dynamic between staff and customer it actually gives my the upper hand in an interaction because any uncertainty the customer might have throws off their confidence in trying to talk down to me.  It makes my confidence look stronger than their's.  I must say though that the change in how nice people are to me, now that I present and am seen as a woman, has been dramatic.

 

[April_TO]

Just be yourself and live your life. We all have body dysphoria and we have to accept that we are not built like a cis woman. Improve what you can and accept the things you can't change.

April xo

[Gladys-phylis]

Also this is what I mean by big head.  My gf and I have the same sized head around but hers is thinner/not as bulky of a shape as mine all over: (I'm on the right)


[/quote]


I just see a picture of two women.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[KayMc]

Yeah, if you hadn't said "I'm on the right", I'd never have been able to figure out which one was you. The picture looks like two women.

[iKate]

lemons,

I'm going to be the voice that you won't like to hear but you absolutely need to.

Your main problem isn't anything physical. It's pure lack of self acceptance.

All of your pictures look FINE. It seems as though you are worrying about a lot of nothing.

Your expectations seem to be unrealistically high. You want to be a small petite girl with a small head. Not happening. Some people are just different sizes. I have met a few trans girls who are tall and big and they seem fine to me. Like 6'7" Sydney_NYC who seems to pass without effort as I've never heard her being referred to as "sir" or any male pronouns. Ever.

I rock it, I pass and even if I don't, I don't care. I'm a woman 24x7 every day, and I carry it. I will never be 100% happy with myself but who is?

Go for FFS if you want, there may be a few things that can be improved but learn to accept. There are other things besides your appearance that can get you clocked. Voice, for example. The way you walk. The way you carry yourself. etc etc. I don't know what applies to you or not but I think your passing issues go beyond your appearance because you look pretty good to me.

[iKate]

Yeah, if you hadn't said "I'm on the right", I'd never have been able to figure out which one was you. The picture looks like two women.

Absolutely this.

[Sydney_NYC]

lemons,

I'm going to be the voice that you won't like to hear but you absolutely need to.

Your main problem isn't anything physical. It's pure lack of self acceptance.

All of your pictures look FINE. It seems as though you are worrying about a lot of nothing.

Your expectations seem to be unrealistically high. You want to be a small petite girl with a small head. Not happening. Some people are just different sizes. I have met a few trans girls who are tall and big and they seem fine to me. Like 6'7" Sydney_NYC who seems to pass without effort as I've never heard her being referred to as "sir" or any male pronouns. Ever.

I rock it, I pass and even if I don't, I don't care. I'm a woman 24x7 every day, and I carry it. I will never be 100% happy with myself but who is?

Go for FFS if you want, there may be a few things that can be improved but learn to accept. There are other things besides your appearance that can get you clocked. Voice, for example. The way you walk. The way you carry yourself. etc etc. I don't know what applies to you or not but I think your passing issues go beyond your appearance because you look pretty good to me.

Thank you for the complement iKate

Lemons,

iKate is right, self acceptance and I'm going to add confidence is what you need. Let HRT do it's magic before before determining if you need FFS. Cis-women come in all sizes and shapes and I wouldn't stress about your head size. It really looks fine and proportions will change more with HRT. The proportions and shape of you face are what is going to determine how your face will seen, not the size. You have a lot of other features that help, like no visible Adam's Apple and your hairline looks really good to start and will improve with HRT.

We are also our worst critics and sometimes we get worked up over nothing. At 3 months HRT I didn't think I looked feminine enough to pass as female, but I started getting gendered female and funny looks in the men's room wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. Even when I went full time and constantly gendered female, it took another 6 months for me to see it in the mirror. It's kind of like when you gain or lose weight you don't see it right away. The same thing happens with us on HRT.

Give it time and patience and don't stress too much. I would wait at least 18-24 months before thinking about FFS, it takes that long for most of the facial changes to complete. You can see my changes here at 22 months. Sometimes after an Orchi or GCS, the lack of a testosterone factory, can bring even more changes that the production being suppressed by HRT.

[Ms Grace]

I have to agree with all the comments above.

Lemons, you regularly come onto the forum with the same concerns (this is too big, that is too big) and you get the same responses - "you look great", "cis women are that way too", "it's in your head", etc, etc.

You ask "what can I do" and, in all honesty since the bones in your head aren't going to shrink no matter how long you are on HRT, there is only one course if you want to continue on the path of transition and that is to find a way to look past your perceived "imperfections", stop obsessing over them, learn to love yourself and live your life.

[lemons]

Well, I've never seen a photo of myself with another cis woman where I was anywhere close to their size.  Which leads me to believe I'm massive, even only at 6 feet tall.

In every photo where I'm standing I look massive.  And my build just isn't right for a cis woman.  Might head might be proportionate for my body, but it's a distinct male body that I really feel can't just blend in as tall female.

[lemons]

Thank you for the complement iKate

Lemons,

iKate is right, self acceptance and I'm going to add confidence is what you need. Let HRT do it's magic before before determining if you need FFS.

Gaaaaaah....I've bene on hormones for over 3 years!!!!