Need advice about coming out to residents at a retirement village (I'm 32 btw)

[Sarah82]

Some of you know bits of my story, for those who don't;

I started living in my grandparents house at a retirement village when my grandfather was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
He had been my grandmother's carer, so when he passed I stayed to care for my grandmother, I also started my transition several months after his passing.
While I love my grandad everyone, even Nana, knew he was homophobic and transphobic and it would have made his last months harder for him if I came out while he was alive.
It has been five months since his passing and I am out to my family and friends but still in stealth mode.
Every week I go with my Nan to a dinner held in the village hall. I sit with her friends, all of whom I get along with, and am asked: "What have you been up to?", "Have you done anything interesting this week?", and I have to bite my tongue when I'm told what a nice young man/good boy I am. Sometimes I just want to grab the MC's microphone and tell the whole village to get it over and done with.
I worry what will happen, what will happen to my Nana's relationships but I just want to be me. I just want to be open. To be able to actually talk about what I'm doing, what I feel, and who I really am.

So given that:
Any advice on coming out to a group of people 55+?
Should I maybe approach her closest friends individually?
Would that run the risk of becoming the new village "Chinese Whisper"? (I apologise if that offends anyone, that's the only name I know for that game.)

Hugs,
Sarah

[CarlyMcx]

I would couch it in terms of being honest and true to yourself.  One thing about older folks -- they have seen and done everything, and you will find your strong supporters among them.

At some point, you will just have to tell people.  And if anyone asks the inevitable "why now?" question, just tell the truth -- that you suppressed that part of yourself in order to care for your grandfather, that he had some bad feelings about gays and transgenders, and that you did so out of respect for him and his condition.

But since you sacrificed your own life to be a caregiver, it is time that you at least have a chance to be your true self, and be true to yourself.

[Laura_7]

Imo there will be two kinds of people.

People who will depply approve, knowing that it is something that fits you.

And people disapproving because of old restraints...

you might give a biological explanation... that studies showed parts of the brains of transgender people are those of the gender they identify with...

and some people give an explanation of a twin... they will be like their male/female twin, with still the same sense of humour...

[Sarah82]

I should have replied earlier but thank you for your advice.

Over the last few days my grandmother and I approached a few of people, who I was almost certain would be open minded, in private and explained what I was and what I'm doing.
I'm happy to write that it was all better than I expected, the five people I have told are very supportive and have told me that they will speak to the one or two in the village that may have a problem and talk them around

So that's almost it. I'm publicly out where I live and to all the close community. I was so emboldened by the support good wishes I received that I didn't bother to change into man-mode when I took Nana's little dig for a walk. It was late in the afternoon so we didn't see many people but those we did see didn't give me a second glance (I think), no-one was shouting epithets or the like, I was a bit nervous when Penny (the little dog) ran up to a couple of old ladies but we exchanged pleasantries and continued on our way.

It felt good to be free, to be me!

Hugs,
Sarah

[Laura_7]

Congratulations 


*hugs*

[CarlyMcx]

I only ever say "I told you so" when I predict good things, and good things happen.

I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!!!   (Imagine me doing the happy dance)

[Cindy]

Congrats Hon!

I'm a bit late in but I came out to my mother in laws nursing home quite easily. She is 95 and mentally all together. 'Who is this young lady?' One of her friends asked. "My daughter in law." Oh how nice. ' Who is she married too (looking puzzled)'. "My daughter."

Game over.