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Thinking about how to come out to my mother.

Started by AliceHeart, October 14, 2015, 01:33:26 AM

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AliceHeart

   I'm interested to hear other peoples input on how to bring up the topic. I do think my mother would be supportive of me, it's just we're close, but we weren't raised in a way where emotions and feelings were really talked about. The only time I can remember my mother out right hugging me or saying I love you aside from when she found out about my self-harm, but still she didn't really press me on it.

   I'm really bad at expressing thoughts about myself or any emotions really, but it doesn't feel like a letter would be appropriate as we live in the same house (I'm 18 and kind of extremely socially awkward), but i just don't know how to bring up the topic, "Hey ma, what are you cooking, and btw I'm transgender." As a side note my mother has stated before that she wanted a son and two daughter but got two sons and one daughter, when I heard that the first time I kind of smiled a little.

   Oh, the last thing, I think she might have a vague idea because I wear nail polish/mascara, and am a little effeminate, but she may just think I'm gay. Sorry for the slightly rambly post, I didn't have as clear of what i wanted to say, but i needed to say something.
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Gertrude

Start at the beginning


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Stacey_Celeste

I found there was no other way than to say I'd been dealing with something a long time and going from there.  I've been lucky.  So far no negative experience but I've picked carefully who I tell.  Most people on the planet are decent.  Good luck
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Laura_7

Here are a few resources that could help:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

In another thread was a very good post saying it might be easier coming out if there is already a feeling that people can talk to each other, about what really moves them. If not it might be positive to try to work on this... like getting a feeling of understanding.


hugs
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AliceHeart

   Thank you all for the advice/links, it helps, but I'm still really nervous, So I think it will take some time to work up the nerve, but I'll keep everything in mind when I'm Ready.  :)
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Laura_7

Quote from: AliceHeart on October 16, 2015, 12:03:01 AM
   Thank you all for the advice/links, it helps, but I'm still really nervous, So I think it will take some time to work up the nerve, but I'll keep everything in mind when I'm Ready.  :)

Have a *hug*

Well many people use a letter. You might sum up your thoughts, give it to them and for example say lets talk about it in half an hour...
or lay it in a place where they can find it...
some people use text or email...

but I'd say use your intuition and the best way for you will come up  :)

and imagine a good outcome  :)

*hugs*
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KristinaM

Take a friend; someone you're out to. I had my wife by my side when I told my parents in person and we agreed ahead of time that if things went badly we would get up and leave together. It did and we did, but it really helped having her there just to hold my hand and assist with my confidence.

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