So... I suppose I'm a full week in! And holy christmas, things are moving steady. (:
A couple things I've noticed. My breasts. I feel that weight against my chest, and even the mirror I can see that they're budding! The first couple of days, my nipples were pretty sore. I couldn't really sleep on my side because of it (Not really because of the pain, but because I didn't want to sleep on a nipple because... well. I don't know. I just don't.).
My skin is clearing up. I've also been using jojoba oil, but my skin has never looked this shiny and healthy. Youthful. It's sweet.
Something else- my voice. It's not strained. My voice used to be lower because it's raspy. It doesn't feel that way anymore. Maybe it's because I'm not as stressed, but I have to relate it to the hormones.
Yesterday I made the courageous decision to pluck my own eyebrows. I sometimes pluck here and there, but I don't like making major changes. I have to say though, I like it! For the record, I do need to seek a professional. I don't trust myself, still don't.
Emotionally, I feel a bit more present. Calm. I love that. Mentally, with my family the way they are, I take in what they say and understand where it's coming from. It's a nice thing being willing to hear out their fears for me- not that they're telling me what's right and what isn't- they may in truth be saying that, but I'm the pioneer trans woman in the entire family... cousins, etc, huge christian network... it's understandable that my family has had trepidation.
For the longest while I did this thing where, if someone close to me said something that I did not appreciate, I would hate it and tell them to stop, because if they were so close to me then why would they want to hurt me- when they say something, when my family does, and it kind of stings, it's usually because they feel hurt themselves. Sometimes I wonder why they do, why this hurts them, but at the same time how can I rationalize that when I'm not them? I suppose that's vice versa. I need to trust them.
The more that I listen, the more that they listen, and if they don't listen, that means there will be a day that they can. It's just a lot to take in, and they will more so when they notice the changes.
I just feel better than I have, and I'm so thankful for it. So thankful. (-: Love you all.
