Kwala:
Hi again. I can imagine that to you your voice might seem incrementally better to you, but to me, I hard more background you coming through. This sounds like a significantly step forward to my ears. I am really happy to hear your latest clip. It has taken you a great deal of time thus far but the improvements are coming.
It is easy to directly relate to the up's and not so up's of this recovery process. Expecting a certain sound and having the wild, frizzy, sort of parallel voice that has a mind of it's own is awkward but manageable.
This time around has been different and some days are a bit of a backward step and then things begin to clear more. Compared to the first week of being permitted to speak, it does seem like I am somewhat backward in my recovery. Not awful, just notably different than I got used to in the first several days. But this is it and there is a long way to go and only as of yesterday reached 8 weeks post op.
We may be heading back to my old hometown for a visit before the summer trip I mentioned. If so, will put in the extra few hundred miles and see Dr Haben for a check up. I want to take a photo of the closed area as I am very interested to see how things healed in comparison to the first surgery.
While dynamic range is of course limited there essentially is no chest voice. Not going to try find it as I am glad to be rid of the deeper tones. It is still a little unusual having the "high pass/low cut filter" and none of the low end frequencies of the past. A sort of physical EQ adjustment. Bone conduction does seem to blunt some of how I sound to me compared to how a recording sounds.
During the day recently rolling easily, I found my self lightly "singing" along with some songs I have on a ride mix. I had a moment of realization that I was singing far too high for the woman whose song I was doing my very untalented rendition of. I smiled and shook my head.
Though cleared for full on exercise, I am holding back and frankly not as inspired to get started on a daily basis. Can't say exactly why. Busy work seems more attractive for now. Some other things we have been discussing are of course their own little piles of angst. But I am more satisfied for now to keep the focus on recovery and not push things hard. Not nearly so.
Kwala, dear, I am really pleased to hear this last post. I am CERTAIN you will continue to progress and finally reach the closure of being fully recovered. Hope you can feel the hug I am trying to stuff through the electronic threads connecting all who visit here. But I do think of you and Audree and the similar recovery trajectories and shared VFS recovery travails. Little steps are still steps.
Be safe girl and please do keep in touch. I'll try and post a update this weekend.
Elaine
