Well, my parents may be difficult, and a lot of other things, but they aren't evil. Plus if they want me out, they know damn well they're going to have to give me an eviction notice from court or I'm not going anywhere.
Here's the problems with emancipation:
- I haven't met the requirements for living on my own long enough
- I don't really know many people here
- I only have four actual friends
- My mom won't let me get another job, even though I have a great record from my last one.
- I don't have my licence, only permit
- My parents will NOT support emancipation, so it will be next to impossible to get all the work done to do it legally
Another problem is, at this point I feel like it's complete overkill. Like wiring your home security system to a nuclear warhead. My parents and I will definitely be better off without living together, but they aren't physically abusing me or anything. (Although emotional abuse is up for grabs - but that would go both ways if there is any. I'm not exactly a model child.)
My main problems with my parents is that they are in denial about me being transgender and depressed, they keep me away from things that are my passions, and they spy on me on the internet. (Speaking of which I should probably try to change my username so it doesn't show up in a Google search, seeing as how they know I use this on a few sites like Minecraft. Is there a way to do it?)
My mom hasn't said anything about the subject of my gender identity since the week I came out to her. She asked me if she wanted her to call me by my female name and buy me women's clothes. I said no, partly out of shock that she was taking it so well, and partly because I wasn't quite ready to come out yet. I kind of regret that now. Since then, every time the subject comes up, she acts irritated, gripes at me about using Nicole because "that's not my name", and acts irritated. She gets really mad about the name.
My dad is worse. In the beginning, he tried to understand. This led to an extremely awkward conversation, in which he suggested I might be gay instead. (When I told him I wasn't gay, he said, "so you want to be a lesbian?" He sounded absolutely scandalized.) Later on, he avoided the subject. He doesn't like the name issue and is as firm on it as my mom (except he hasn't threatened to throw me out over it). On the last conversation we had about it, he said that I was born a boy and will be a boy until I die, and that a transition wouldn't make me a woman, and in general that you can never change your gender or your name (unless you're in witness protection).
Another thing. My parents know EXACTLY how to push my buttons, and make me feel bad. (Not that I show it. Ever.) It's really hard for me to go against them when I'm talking to them. (Not so much when I just do things.) Couple that with my clumsiness in words, and I'm at a serious disadvantage during any conversation we have. Plus, I'm not really sure how to bring it up since they're showing such negative reactions. Even worse, every time I try to act mature about it my parents read it as insulting. Usually they will misinterpret at least half of what I say. I'm not sure if it's me or them, but my school social worker said that the coming out letter I wrote that they said was hateful seemed just fine to her (if a bit confused).
I'm still feeling a little unhinged, but not as bad as yesterday. So maybe it's not as bad as I thought...
