Two trans children in the same family

[susanlogan1203]

I have two trans children, one daughter one son, the daughter came out just over a week ago and the son about 2 years ago. How common is this? Having some problems with my daughter 's school who seem to be hell bent on her needing psychological assessment. I'm looking to have some contact with other parents going through this. Felt quite surreal tonight choosing skirts wigs and over the knee socks with my daughter . I'm hoping that parents will contact me to chat on various subjects that are trans related.


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[xorchidfeyx]

It's not common nor un-common. I've met quite a few families who have 2 trans children, a trans parent and a trans child, a trans aunt/uncle and a trans cousin/niece, etc etc. This is why some researchers are looking for a genetic component that might indicate transsexuality

Thank you for being so loving and accepting of your children <3 <3 <3

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I am not a parent but I can provide some information. We had a discussion about parents and children being transsexual and we have several on this site alone. The odds of a person being born transsexual are about 1 in 600. For a parent and a child to both be transsexual, the odds would be 1 in 360,000. With an estimated 700,000 transsexuals in the United states, you would expect only two families like this. This site has around 20,000 registered users so having several indicates this isn't random. Currently we think exposure to the opposite sex hormone before birth causes this to happen. In a MTF, normally what would happen is the child fails to produce male hormones so instead of the brain developing male, it develops as a female. In a FTM, male hormones levels are high enough for the brain to develop male. There is a possible genetic link but they are still researching that so we don't know much about that.

You are very accepting of your children and that is a good thing. We have some children on this site who have reject this aspect of their child and the children are in pain dealing with this by themselves. A psychological assessment is important so the child's future can be mapped out. About the time puberty starts, the children should be placed on blockers which will prevent sexual development. In the case of a FTM, this will prevent the development of breast and allow more hight. In the case of a MTF it will prevent body and facial hair as well as the lowering of the voice. The blockers will also prevent the extreme discomfort we feel when the sex hormones start flowing in our system. Should the child decide to return to their birth gender, stopping the blockers will allow them to do so.

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[Asche]

Some anecdata:

My older son told me a few months ago that he was trans. It came out of the blue and I still haven't figured out what it means to him, but he's on HRT already.  (He's 25, so it's his decision.)

(And before you ask, I haven't switched pronouns because he hasn't asked me.)

[Asche]

Also: I can recommend the blogs "Raising my rainbow" and "GenderMom".  You might be able to get connections from them.

I'm not sure where you're located, but the Philadelphia Trans Health Conference had a huge turnout of trans children (and quite a few sessions.)  Gender Odyssey, a trans conference in Seattle (?), seems to also have a lot for trans children.  The website transstudent.org has a bunch of links, as does the Gender Spectrum website.

[susanlogan1203]

I am so excited to be receiving replies to my post! Thank you for this, I have been feeling very alone with this as I'm a single parent and for now I'm pretty isolated. I look forward to chatting with you guys in the future.[emoji1]


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[Arch]

The odds of a person being born transsexual are about 1 in 600. For a parent and a child to both be transsexual, the odds would be 1 in 360,000. With an estimated 700,000 transsexuals in the United states, you would expect only two families like this.

These numbers appear to be off. If the odds (1 in 600) are correct and if we assume a population of 300,000,000 (I'm sure that's a low estimate by now), then we would have about half a million transsexuals and more than 800 parent-child families, yes? So this unusual occurrence of two transsexual siblings is rare but not too horribly rare.

[Mariah]

It definitely does happen. My youngest sibling as of recent time has been saying they are trans too. This would make the third in the family after myself and one of my mom's siblings. I know when my Trans Aunt came out she had mentioned it was genetic. Just the other day I was looking my medical chart at my PCP's office and discovered that my chart also shows that it is genetic now. I know my case was known before the others in my family since problems exist in my case since birth. It's wonderful to see that your supportive of them and that your trying to get some support and understanding through all of this. Good luck and hugs.
Mariah

[Rejennyrated]

Yes as someone who is currently being trained as a doctor it always makes me slightly sad when I realise the extent to which a lot of common medical "knowlege" - that is to say so called facts that the general public thinks it "knows" - are out of date and incorrect. It complicats matters because people then apply all sorts of inappropriate thinking in their reactions.

Even in the trans community there are many who still believe the old thinking that there was no genetic component to this condition, when in fact the latest teaching is that there is, we can prove there is, and it probably plays quite a significant part in the pre-disposition to develop the condition. Thus this is no real surprise to find clusters in one family. My own family tree has a significant degree of historical gender non conformism right back to about 1760.

We are of course a long way from saying that having a genetic disposition makes something inevitable, but it does increase the liklihood - so those who think this is all in the mind only are wrong pure and simple.

[susanlogan1203]

The information I'm getting from you folks is great. It's so good to talk about it to other adults. I only have my son who is 16 and has his own issues obviously. So thank you so much for the time you've taken to answer me.


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[KayMc]

Add my sister and I to the list.

I agree with the above that the high incidence of transgender siblings seems to indicate that there is some component of genetics or maternal in utero influence involved.

[Stevie]

I have four children one of them is FTM another one is gender fluid. When my son came out to us twelve years ago they did not know about me. I only told them about me four years ago, he was the first person I told.

[kylie1]

I've had GD my entire life and now have a trans child.  Although it may seem related, from what I understand, it is very common, more so than people let on.  People just stay in the closet.
xx

[BeverlyAnn]

I don't know what became of them but a few years ago, there were twins in my city who were transitioning MtF.  I have known personally a parent/child both MtF.   From when I lived in Florida, a friend started her transition before finding out her father's transgender expression was as a crossdresser and then her child came out to her as FtM.  Three generations is not a coincidence.  I'm not a doctor or a research scientist but it seems it would be hard to deny that genetics comes into play.

Bev

[vanderpn]

My younger sibling and I are both transmasculine/genderqueer. Among the two of us, it's interesting to see how gender manifests itself in such unique combinations. For example, I am more feminine than he is, and we experience dysphoria differently.

Having two trans children in your family will no doubt be challenging, but it can actually be a good thing, since your two kids can support and understand each other in a special way. I know that for my sib and me, it's encouraging to have someone so close sharing a similar experience.

Best wishes on you and your kids' journey.

[in.Chains]

I loosely follow a trans girl by the name of Raiden Quinn (on YouTube, you can search using her name) who just so happens to have a younger trans brother. I believe her brother came out a week prior to her own coming out as trans. Their mother, and family in general, appear to be extremely supportive, and I know they've done at least one local news type interview about it!

[Mavis]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I am not a parent but I can provide some information. We had a discussion about parents and children being transsexual and we have several on this site alone. The odds of a person being born transsexual are about 1 in 600. For a parent and a child to both be transsexual, the odds would be 1 in 360,000. With an estimated 700,000 transsexuals in the United states, you would expect only two families like this. This site has around 20,000 registered users so having several indicates this isn't random. Currently we think exposure to the opposite sex hormone before birth causes this to happen. In a MTF, normally what would happen is the child fails to produce male hormones so instead of the brain developing male, it develops as a female. In a FTM, male hormones levels are high enough for the brain to develop male. There is a possible genetic link but they are still researching that so we don't know much about that.

You are very accepting of your children and that is a good thing. We have some children on this site who have reject this aspect of their child and the children are in pain dealing with this by themselves. A psychological assessment is important so the child's future can be mapped out. About the time puberty starts, the children should be placed on blockers which will prevent sexual development. In the case of a FTM, this will prevent the development of breast and allow more hight. In the case of a MTF it will prevent body and facial hair as well as the lowering of the voice. The blockers will also prevent the extreme discomfort we feel when the sex hormones start flowing in our system. Should the child decide to return to their birth gender, stopping the blockers will allow them to do so.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Do you have any resources/studies that can help backup your points on opposite sex hormone before birth and genetics. I ask because its something my wife says not only is the only information she can find point to the effects of no relationship with the mother at an early age but out of her 3 transgendered friends they all have mommy issues and one claims she had to be the woman she always needed. Me myself I never felt I had mommy issues but I was separated from my mom at 1 years old so I don't know.

[Mavis]

Yes as someone who is currently being trained as a doctor it always makes me slightly sad when I realise the extent to which a lot of common medical "knowlege" - that is to say so called facts that the general public thinks it "knows" - are out of date and incorrect. It complicats matters because people then apply all sorts of inappropriate thinking in their reactions.

Even in the trans community there are many who still believe the old thinking that there was no genetic component to this condition, when in fact the latest teaching is that there is, we can prove there is, and it probably plays quite a significant part in the pre-disposition to develop the condition. Thus this is no real surprise to find clusters in one family. My own family tree has a significant degree of historical gender non conformism right back to about 1760.

We are of course a long way from saying that having a genetic disposition makes something inevitable, but it does increase the liklihood - so those who think this is all in the mind only are wrong pure and simple.

Do you also have any links/data you can share on the subject, it has been argued to me that feminine ways/likes/dislikes/body language are a learned behavior even in CIS women stating that if all men and women were raised to wear the same things and act the same way then transgender would not exist further pushing on their point that it is not a birth defect or genetic issue but rather a non fixable result on the brain when the child is detached from a parent at a young age. While I tend to agree on trans gender as a whole that would mean there is no difference between ->-bleeped-<-s and transsexuals which I strongly disagree with, there is something much stronger at the core of a transsexual than just "I like to wear women clothing" for us its a complete feeling of being born in the wrong body... clothes/body language etc are just part of the picture.

[Dena]

Do you have any resources/studies that can help backup your points on opposite sex hormone before birth and genetics. I ask because its something my wife says not only is the only information she can find point to the effects of no relationship with the mother at an early age but out of her 3 transgendered friends they all have mommy issues and one claims she had to be the woman she always needed. Me myself I never felt I had mommy issues but I was separated from my mom at 1 years old so I don't know.

The full paper is behind a pay wall but this gives you the basics. If you want more, use the link to the study and get your credit card ready.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_transsexualism

[HughE]

Do you also have any links/data you can share on the subject, it has been argued to me that feminine ways/likes/dislikes/body language are a learned behavior even in CIS women stating that if all men and women were raised to wear the same things and act the same way then transgender would not exist further pushing on their point that it is not a birth defect or genetic issue but rather a non fixable result on the brain when the child is detached from a parent at a young age.

There was a popular theory that people are born "gender neutral", and that people's gender-related behaviour and preferences are the result of early life experiences. On the basis of that theory, thousands of infants with damaged or abnormal genitals were subjected to sexual reassignment surgery to whichever sex suited doctors better (usually female). Since gender was supposed to be learned rather than innate, the assumption was that people who'd had this done to them would simply adopt their new gender, and live their lives without ever knowing that they were born the opposite sex. However, it hasn't worked out like that. A very high proportion of these infant reassignments  have gone badly wrong, with the child failing to fit in as their reassigned gender, and often spontaneously reverting to their birth gender later in life. The most infamous example of this happening is the David Reimer case, but there have been many other less publicised cases that have had a similar outcome.

Basically, your gender identity, along with most of your gender based behaviour and preferences, is hardwired into the structure of your brain, and is already in place by the time you're born. As with other aspects of sexual development, whether you get the male or female version doesn't depend directly on genetics, but is instead determined by what hormones you're exposed to during the time your prenatal development is taking place. There are genetic conditions that can cause your prenatal hormone production to go wrong and give rise to physical intersex conditions and/or ->-bleeped-<-, however it's the abnormal hormone levels that it induces  (or abnormal hormone receptor response in the case of AIS) that cause this to happen, not the altered gene itself. It's also possible for exposure to external hormones or hormone-mimicking chemicals to interfere with normal sexual development in the fetus. If you've seen some of the other stuff I've posted on this site, there's a lot of us MTF and transfeminine people in the over 40s age group who were exposed to an artificial estrogen called DES, that used to be used as a treatment for preventing miscarriages.

https://www.quora.com/What-causes-a-person-to-be-transgender/answer/Hugh-Easton-1