Hormones, help and support such (possible trigger)

[chloeD33]

Hey guys. So I know this woman who has been on Estrogen for a while. She is female through and through. Loves being one and living as one.yet now she is concerned. She has almost achieved this Nirvana/Zen like way of living until she remembers her life as a male. She was always high strung, depressed, angry, hurt, ect. She fears that she didn't do enough to take care of herself and that may be the reason she switched mtf. This is what she has been told by people in her fam too..... She doesn't look too femme so she was thinking about going off E for a bit and T blockers to prove this is her and not just running away from something. As soon as she even starts to seriously ponder there is an almost depressed look and things get switched. Any advice? Thanks

[Deborah]

If she isn't on this forum then maybe she could come on and discuss her concerns.  I imagine there are dozens who have faced the same thing.

If she does take a break from hormones this is what will happen.  I'm speaking from experience.  At first and for a while she will feel the same.  After a period of time testosterone production will ramp back up and she will again feel "high strung, depressed, angry, hurt, etc."

Ask her what action she will take to take care of herself when all that returns. 

I found only one thing that partially mitigated it all and that was running.  Not a little bit either but 60 to 100 miles a week.  Basically I kept myself in a state of constant physical exhaustion.  Its not a permanent solution either.  Eventually the body simply runs out of gas and you have to stop.  Then all the bad stuff returns.

I expect she may be correct though that she didn't take care of herself before.  However she is getting cause and effect reversed.  She didn't take care of herself because she hated life because she needed to make the switch.


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[chloeD33]

I am asking on her behalf. She asked me to so I said yes will mention to her she shoul get her own tho . Well since hrt she has began to do mediations, eating better, better relationships with positive people, ect things she hadn't have/done before. So besides the hormones other things have changed too. She isnt doing this for attention (trust me I know), she is trying to find herself and I want to help!

[JoanneB]

I believe have a fair idea of the issues she is wrestling with. It is natural NOT to take care of yourself in any way if you hate your life, hate who you are, hate your body, etc.. Then you finally decide to do something for yourself. Something about and for your true self. Which lead to HRT, a boost to the brain chemistry, you feel better about you. You do more things for yourself, for life, for mind, body and spirit.

And then..... Hey, I got this trans thing beat. I FINALLY love being me, being me, I understand things so much better know. I can stop all this silliness, the meds, the docs, perhaps therapists.

Slowly and inexorably you fall back into that deep dark abyss. For me, stopping both E & the AA was a disaster. As was slacking off on E and stopping the AA. As was just stopping the AA.

Relying on the shear force of will only works so well for only so long

[Skylar1992]

Everyone has emotions and concerns, she needs to make up her own mind of what she wants to do and not live her life how other people want her to.  This means strongly considering if she is (mods don't warn me again for this), is legitimate , and what I mean by that is it is very easy to confuse things when it comes to gender, personally knowing people who went half way, realized that they were not very certain about it at all and reverted back, it is perfectly fine

I hope she / he (which every way they decide to go) has the best of luck with which ever route.

[chloeD33]

Thanks all . She is very happy with her present as a woman... Just in guess from what I picked up is going to (or almost feels she is semi forced by her consiois) conquer all her negatives of her male life, prove she can be a guy while not always angry and pisses and then prove to herself she is a woman and isn't merely running from anything. Mind twister I know but that's what it seems like

[Qrachel]

If she isn't on this forum then maybe she could come on and discuss her concerns.  I imagine there are dozens who have faced the same thing.

Really like this advice.

Rachel

[Cindy]

I think she benefit from talking to a good and experienced gender therapist. We carry a lot of baggage, transitioning does not take that baggage away.