Feeling lost, could use some advice.

[Sans]

Hi, as the title says I'm feeling pretty lost and I could really use some advice. I'm currently 18 and studying at college, a few years a go I came out to my parents about being transgender. For pretty much my entire life I was confident that I wanted to be female and that I hated living as male. I've been to a clinic twice now and I should be close to starting hormone treatment however for the first time I've started having doubts. Honestly I'm totally unsure as to what to do, I've been feeling pretty mediocre because every day I'm constantly trying to figure out what I want and what I should do.

I don't have anyone to talk to about this so I've turned to this forum for help.

[Mariah]

Hi Sans, Welcome to Susan's. Doubts are fairly common actually and completely understandable as your attempting to sort your gender out. It takes time be sure of what gender you are to be confident enough in it to know it is the right gender for you. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good Luck and Hugs
Mariah

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[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Transgender feelings can come and go which can make it hard to determine where you fit. You could be fluid, queer gender or transsexual. The reason for the real life experience before surgery is determine if that is the life that will bring you happiness. Without more information it will be a little hard to give you advice but one place you can start out is youtube and view "the transition channel". This is a very well done set of videos that will ask you some of the questions you need to answer to determine where you fit. Feel free to ask more questions on this thread or any of the other threads that interest you.

[Laura_7]

You could have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,194986.msg1737439.html#msg1737439
and here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197598.msg1757491.html#msg1757491

You might try some easy reversible steps...
like changes to hair and clothing style...

and you might look for a good gender therapist...
a supportive person to help you along...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162888.msg1403363.html#msg1403363

In the video she talks about trying a low dose of hormones for a short time... to see how it maks you feel...




*hugs*

[Qrachel]

AHHH, DOUBTS: You make for a horrible bedfellow!

As you can tell from reading here, doubting seems to often be par for the course - hugely for me for about a year.

Therapy really helped, treating my depression was a godsend, support group was cool, and finally beginning to dress and have time in my gender of preference drove the doubt away.  Well, I'm human and have doubts now and then whether I want them or not - the difference is I deal with them without the awful feelings and paralysis.

You can too.  It's part of coping with your transition.  You will have doubts.  When you do express them to people who can listen helpfully (like here, therapist, support group, etc.).  Putting your doubts into conversation is the first step in robbing them of their power.

Take good care and stay in touch,

Rachel

[cindianna_jones]

It is very common to have doubts. Lots of us go back then turn around again. Whatever you do, don't get into any serious relationships until you do. You may ending up hurting someone terribly when the urge to transition strikes again. I'm not saying that it will, but... it probably will. But yes, take a step back from it for a time if you need to. Transition is rather permanent. You may always have a few doubts, but you should feel overwhelmingly positive about your choice once you make it.

Chin up
Cindi

[pooja23crossy]

Same here

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[Rachel]

Welcome to Susan's pooja23crossy.

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[Rachel]

If you are unsure about hormones it is normal. If you have not already, you may want to talk to a gender therapist and attend group. Waiting a month or two will not hurt and it may help to sort out your feelings.