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I stopped hormones

Started by Craziibabii771, October 27, 2015, 06:22:55 PM

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Craziibabii771

So I've considered myself Transgender since I was 15 (I'm 21 now) and about 5 months ago I started HRT (yay) and everything was going great. I was having some issues with accepting the fact that I might not ever have SRS and it will be awhile before I go full-time... But I was okay with that... I started dating this guy April of 2014 and I fell absouktely in love with him. We broke up for a couple weeks and thats when I started hormones (April 15th 2015) and everything was going great. He told me he loved me no matter what and he would still be with me (even though he's gay) and for while everything was going great. It all went downhill when my sex drive went down and I was really <Not Permitted> moody (I cried over everthing). It got even worse when he finally noticed my boobs (Which went from nothing to a B in 5 months). We broke up and I was really upset, so I stopped hormones. We've gotten back together and It's been almost 2 months without estrogen and 1 month without T blockers. I noticed my manly qualities coming back when I got out of the shower last week. My facial hair is darker and my smell is manlier and my body hair is back and I had this huge sense of Dysphoria which hasnt happened since I was a kid. I've decided to go back on my hormones and switch from injections to pills. Basically my question is... Is it bad to keep it from him that I'm on hormones again. I'm afraid we're gonna break up and I've made it clear to him that Idk if I'm even transgender rather Gender fluid. I don't mind being male or female but I just don't like looking like a man. I like boobs and big hips and tiny waist and what not. So should I tell him or am I a bad person if I don't? He knows about the T blockers but not about the Etsrogen and Progesterone....

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Eyie

I would definitely tell him for sure. That's a pretty big secret to keep and one that he could easily pick up on again. Honesty is always the best policy in relationships they say. :P
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Dena

Welcome to Susan's Place. It is important that he know what is going on in your life because as fast as you respond to hormones, it won't take long to figure out. Any relationship based on a iie or or omission is in trouble from the start. I think he will be accepting as he was before. Also you should discuss the mode changes with your Endo as a bit lower dose might be in order to improve your outlook. The pills should also help as they won't cycle as deep as the injections.


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JoanneB

Having been in a somewhat similar situation twice in the past, I would tell him

Having been in almost the same situation several times in the past stopping HRT totally sucks. One of the first things that got to me was starting to stink like a guy again. I could live (again) with boobs not being as sensitive but that STINK! Arrrgh. And of course the other effects like even moodier, totally depressed, and hating myself even more....

About 6 weeks was the longest I stoppped
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(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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iKate

Honestly if you're dating a gay guy he wants another gay man, not a woman.

Unless he's a pansexual, bi or something.

So I think you either need to evaluate who you are or find someone else. But I wouldn't change myself just for someone else. My transition is for ME and me only. If I die alone, so be it, at least I'll die a woman and not a man. But I'm not motivated by anyone other than myself.

Talk to your therapist.

Good luck!
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dr.tina

Everyone tells that relationship exist on truth and how others perceive truth is based on how you tell it, but don't lie with him you may feel bad when he finds out.

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WorkingOnThomas

I think you're setting yourself up for a lot of hurt. He'll be hurt when he finds out, and he eventually will, and you'll be hurt when he reacts poorly, as it sounds he will. I've come to realize I can't hide things surrounding this from my partner(s). I'm not Super Man, and I don't need a secret identity.
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stephaniec

Honesty is always the best policy. Look what happened to Richard Nixon.
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Rachel

You are putting off the inevitable.

Love yourself and find someone that loves you for who you are.
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KristinaM

He will find your pill bottles eventually if nothing else.

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sparrow

The thing that stands out to me in your post is this: (yay).

Be you.  Don't settle for somebody who wants you to be not-you.  I'll agree with everybody else on the honesty bit.
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