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Parents and siblings

Started by Cutie99, October 27, 2015, 08:46:39 AM

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Cutie99

Hey there!
I'm feeling a bit scared lately. I'm worried about both, how to tell my parents that I'm trans and what will their reaction be. I know, you can never tell what they'd say, but what if they told me to go away, and never see them again? I couldn't live without them. Mentally and physically. I love my parents, but how would I live without my parents help? I would never afford to transition and to live my life. I want to start my hrt as soon as I turn 18/19, but I do wanna study to become a nurse. I feel so frightened right now.
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kaleb234

This is a difficult one. Parents can be very unpredictable. When I came out to my mom, I thought she would be supportive, however, in the beginning she was convinced that it was only a "phase". I gave her time, and she eventually came around. I expected my dad on the other hand to reject me, however, he immediately accepted it.
One thing I can pretty much guarantee is that they won't be able to change pronouns right away even if they are supportive. Don't let it get you down, it's often a force of habit rather than an attack. It's taken my nan years to break the female pronoun habit.
I would suggest sitting them down and telling them. They may not like it at first, but if they're open minded people they should come around eventually. In my experience it's better to just get it over with and tell everyone at once.

Good luck to you, I hope it goes well :)
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Qrachel

Hi Cutie:

The family discussion is always stressful, but it needs to be done and isn't predictable as to the initial reaction and/or the long-term position they'll take.  However, it's important for everyone to know who you truly are and what you are dealing with.

If you have a therapist or can meet with one, that's a great person to have help you get ready for the reveal.  In addition, support groups can be useful (like here and in your community). 

A common practice for telling the family is to write a letter and give yourself some time to write it and go over it after the passage of a day or two (I took a week on mine.).  Whether you share the letter or use it as guide in your preparation the writing is helpful in what you want/have to say.  Plus, if you are really confronted talk through your part of the discussion several times in front of a mirror - it's amazing how doing mirror work before hand helps with difficult conversations.

Also, be sure to stay plugged in here and share with us.  This is a pretty amazing place!

Take care and the best to you and yours,

Rachel
Rachel

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow."
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