Joined a Gym and Locker Rooms, so far so good, but......

[Sydney_NYC]

So on Thursday my wife and I joined a 24 Hour Fitness® Gym down the street from us. My ID has the correct name and gender so the fact I'm transgender is not even on anyone's radar even though I'm pre-op. We were showed around the facility and we even viewed the pool. To get to the pool you have to go through either the women's or men's locker rooms. So my wife and I went through the women's while the guy that was showing us around went through the men's and we met on the other side. So no issues there. I did notice in the women's locker room there are no privacy stalls, but I'm so small with a tuck that with just panties no one can tell, but I don't think I will be taking a shower there. I don't mind that since we live less that a 1/2 mile from the place. In NJ there are state laws the disallow discrimination based on gender identity with accommodations. So I don't see a need to out myself to them, or do I?

I was curious what other trans experiences that people here have had with 24 Hour Fitness centers. I did check there policies and they do state that they don't discriminate against sex and sexual orientation, but gender identity isn't mentioned anywhere. I'm aware that Planet Fitness does have a great policy, but they are 20 minutes away and they don't have classes like Yoga that 24 Hour Fitness does.

Today my wife and I worked out there and I had zero issues with the women's locker room. I came already dressed in yoga pants and top, so just put my jacket, purse and bag with street clothes in the locker and we worked out. After we worked out I changes clothes down to underwear and put on street clothes because my wife wanted to stop by a store on the way home. No one could see anything the way I did it and I was tucked, so nothing visible at all. So I don't think I'm going to have any issues. I'm not ever going to strip down enough for anyone to see anything, so there shouldn't be any drama.

In a way I feel guilty about being stealth about this, but should I? Has anyone have a similar experience?

[Ms Grace]

I only got to the end of my first visit before my gender was challenged. It was not a fun experience.

See https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=188177.0

[mfox]

Showering or not, I wouldn't recommend exposing yourself down there to other women.  I always wear a black bikini bottom that I can stay tucked in if I'm going to a pool or gym.   If they see you're pre-op, I would expect an uncomfortable challenge. 

[Tristyn]

So on Thursday my wife and I joined a 24 Hour Fitness® Gym down the street from us. My ID has the correct name and gender so the fact I'm transgender is not even on anyone's radar even though I'm pre-op. We were showed around the facility and we even viewed the pool. To get to the pool you have to go through either the women's or men's locker rooms. So my wife and I went through the women's while the guy that was showing us around went through the men's and we met on the other side. So no issues there. I did notice in the women's locker room there are no privacy stalls, but I'm so small with a tuck that with just panties no one can tell, but I don't think I will be taking a shower there. I don't mind that since we live less that a 1/2 mile from the place. In NJ there are state laws the disallow discrimination based on gender identity with accommodations. So I don't see a need to out myself to them, or do I?

I was curious what other trans experiences that people here have had with 24 Hour Fitness centers. I did check there policies and they do state that they don't discriminate against sex and sexual orientation, but gender identity isn't mentioned anywhere. I'm aware that Planet Fitness does have a great policy, but they are 20 minutes away and they don't have classes like Yoga that 24 Hour Fitness does.

Today my wife and I worked out there and I had zero issues with the women's locker room. I came already dressed in yoga pants and top, so just put my jacket, purse and bag with street clothes in the locker and we worked out. After we worked out I changes clothes down to underwear and put on street clothes because my wife wanted to stop by a store on the way home. No one could see anything the way I did it and I was tucked, so nothing visible at all. So I don't think I'm going to have any issues. I'm not ever going to strip down enough for anyone to see anything, so there shouldn't be any drama.

In a way I feel guilty about being stealth about this, but should I? Has anyone have a similar experience?

First of all, congrats on having the courage to do this and congrats on your success with this!^^

Should you feel guilty? Well, no, I don't think so. I think its normal, human, and understandable if you genuinely do feel this way. Its like your inner self is trying to come to terms with this new concept of transition that was once a foreign idea to you, I'm sure. So I think this guilt is all part of that process of becoming your true self. So try not to be so hard on yourself, ok? =) Give your mind, body, and soul all the time it needs to adjust.

I posted a similar thread about going stealth. More specifically it was about relocating once I officially start living as  a man, along with all the legal and medical transitioning that will entail. I am already headed in that direction. I have already decided on a name and prefer to go by that instead of my assigned name at birth. And I prefer people to address me in male pronouns. I am getting the right therapy for GID and dysphoria. Eventually my therapist will produce a letter of recommendation for HRT and that's when things will really get hot in the pot, so to speak!

The closest thing I did to what you described here with the gym, was that I actually got the courage to waltz confidently right into the men's fitting room in a Walmart to try on some new clothes. I was dropped off there by my pops. Its embarrassing to admit, but I was too afraid of what his reaction would be if I told him I did not try on any of the clothes he took me to get that I need(and still do) so badly. Fear of that took over the fear I had once I saw that the fitting rooms were, of course, gender-based, much to my discretion. I went in there knowing I would not have a choice when faced with a controlling and misunderstanding father.

Luckily, I was the only one in there. And thankfully they are a collection of single-stalled rooms for better privacy. I  did not just want to go in men's because I identify with men more than women. But also cause I freakin' look more like a man than I do a woman about 58% of the time if not a little more, even though I am not even on any T yet. My therapist outright told me that I at least look like a boy. I honestly was a bit taken back by his blunt comment because I want to look like a man not a boy. But the way I see it, I rather look like a teenage boy than a grown woman.

One mtf here said that one of the qualms she had about going stealth is that you run the risk of having little to no social life. I am honestly prepared for such an existence, sadly, if it means my happiness. What's the point in having lots of friends if you are not happy about that? Our mentality shapes our reality.

Good luck with your transition and good job with it so far! =)

~Nixy~

[Sydney_NYC]

Showering or not, I wouldn't recommend exposing yourself down there to other women.  I always wear a black bikini bottom that I can stay tucked in if I'm going to a pool or gym.   If they see you're pre-op, I would expect an uncomfortable challenge. 

I very much agree with you here even with New Jersey's Anti-discrimination laws. I'm also not comfortable with showing myself down there to anyone. I do stay tucked and you can't tell and I've worn a one piece swimsuit many times without an issue. Also I was wearing yoga pants (tucked) during my workout and no one can tell so there is no reason for trans to be on anyone's radar and that's the way I plan to keep it. Even though this area is very liberal and open minded, there are still those few that could cause an issue. Not to mention that there are kids in there too with their moms.

[Sydney_NYC]

First of all, congrats on having the courage to do this and congrats on your success with this!^^

Should you feel guilty? Well, no, I don't think so. I think its normal, human, and understandable if you genuinely do feel this way. Its like your inner self is trying to come to terms with this new concept of transition that was once a foreign idea to you, I'm sure. So I think this guilt is all part of that process of becoming your true self. So try not to be so hard on yourself, ok? =) Give your mind, body, and soul all the time it needs to adjust.

I posted a similar thread about going stealth. More specifically it was about relocating once I officially start living as  a man, along with all the legal and medical transitioning that will entail. I am already headed in that direction. I have already decided on a name and prefer to go by that instead of my assigned name at birth. And I prefer people to address me in male pronouns. I am getting the right therapy for GID and dysphoria. Eventually my therapist will produce a letter of recommendation for HRT and that's when things will really get hot in the pot, so to speak!

The closest thing I did to what you described here with the gym, was that I actually got the courage to waltz confidently right into the men's fitting room in a Walmart to try on some new clothes. I was dropped off there by my pops. Its embarrassing to admit, but I was too afraid of what his reaction would be if I told him I did not try on any of the clothes he took me to get that I need(and still do) so badly. Fear of that took over the fear I had once I saw that the fitting rooms were, of course, gender-based, much to my discretion. I went in there knowing I would not have a choice when faced with a controlling and misunderstanding father.

Luckily, I was the only one in there. And thankfully they are a collection of single-stalled rooms for better privacy. I  did not just want to go in men's because I identify with men more than women. But also cause I freakin' look more like a man than I do a woman about 58% of the time if not a little more, even though I am not even on any T yet. My therapist outright told me that I at least look like a boy. I honestly was a bit taken back by his blunt comment because I want to look like a man not a boy. But the way I see it, I rather look like a teenage boy than a grown woman.

One mtf here said that one of the qualms she had about going stealth is that you run the risk of having little to no social life. I am honestly prepared for such an existence, sadly, if it means my happiness. What's the point in having lots of friends if you are not happy about that? Our mentality shapes our reality.

Good luck with your transition and good job with it so far! =)

~Nixy~

Thanks for the advice Nixy. It brings a point that I've always said. I transitioned to be a woman, I didn't transition to be a transgender woman. When I'm in support groups helping other transgender individuals with support, I proudly say that I'm a transgender woman within the LGBT community. I think it's important in the Trans Community. At the same time in my day to day life, I'm just a woman. I still advocate and I've even been interviewed on a local news agency with 2 other transgender women about transgender women in NJ, but I'm not going to be running around advertising that I am transgender. I'm happy to educate to those with an open mind and want to be educated on the subject, but I don't want to shove it in everyone's face. Obviously showing that I'm pre-op would be doing that,  plus it would be nonconsensual and wrong no matter what the laws are.

[Sydney_NYC]

I only got to the end of my first visit before my gender was challenged. It was not a fun experience.

See https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=188177.0

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I remember reading about that earlier.

[Debra]

Yeah I've been using the women's locker rooms and restrooms soon after I was legally Female (which was only a few months after I started transition). Never once had a problem, thankfully. When I was pre-op though, I never changed much in the locker rooms or if I did, I used a stall.

Post-op, I let it all hang out, really don't care hah.

[Bailey_Rose]

I just joined 24 hour fitness.  I sent an email to corporate asking of their policies and was told I could use either the Women's locker room or the gender neutral bathroom.  Here are my dilemmas though:

1) I have changed my name and gender on my registration form, and I dress in feminine clothing.  But, because of some major medical issues, my doctor, even though she is 100% supportive of my desires, has strongly strongly recommended against HRT.  Therefore I am stuck with my masculine features and no option for bottom surgery also because of my issues.  I dress feminine, I feel feminine, I act feminine, and I wear a wig. With my wig I could possibly be passable.  But obviously I don't want to work out or swim with my wig on.

2) I want to be able to use the pool.  The access to the pool is through the locker rooms.  The gender neutral bathroom is on the other side of the gym.  The last thing I want to do is have to go walking across the entire gym, in a swimsuit just to get to the pool or in a wet swim suit, tracking water all over the place.

3) I've already received some pretty un-approving looks while changing in the men's locker room and do not feel safe in there.  At the same time, I do not want to cause a ruckus  in the women's locker room or make anyone feel uncomfortable.  It just seems like an all around lose lose lose situation when all I want to do is change, work out, shower, and get dressed.  Any advise is appreciated!

[elkie-t]

I just joined 24 hour fitness.  I sent an email to corporate asking of their policies and was told I could use either the Women's locker room or the gender neutral bathroom.  Here are my dilemmas though:

1) I have changed my name and gender on my registration form, and I dress in feminine clothing.  But, because of some major medical issues, my doctor, even though she is 100% supportive of my desires, has strongly strongly recommended against HRT.  Therefore I am stuck with my masculine features and no option for bottom surgery also because of my issues.  I dress feminine, I feel feminine, I act feminine, and I wear a wig. With my wig I could possibly be passable.  But obviously I don't want to work out or swim with my wig on.

2) I want to be able to use the pool.  The access to the pool is through the locker rooms.  The gender neutral bathroom is on the other side of the gym.  The last thing I want to do is have to go walking across the entire gym, in a swimsuit just to get to the pool or in a wet swim suit, tracking water all over the place.

3) I've already received some pretty un-approving looks while changing in the men's locker room and do not feel safe in there.  At the same time, I do not want to cause a ruckus  in the women's locker room or make anyone feel uncomfortable.  It just seems like an all around lose lose lose situation when all I want to do is change, work out, shower, and get dressed.  Any advise is appreciated!

Bailey, if I were in your shoes, I'd use gender neutral.

To OP: since your presence isn't challenged by anyone, don't create an issue where it's not needed. And since you are there to only change clothes, why feel guilty?

[LizK]

I just joined 24 hour fitness.  I sent an email to corporate asking of their policies and was told I could use either the Women's locker room or the gender neutral bathroom.  Here are my dilemmas though:

1) I have changed my name and gender on my registration form, and I dress in feminine clothing.  But, because of some major medical issues, my doctor, even though she is 100% supportive of my desires, has strongly strongly recommended against HRT.  Therefore I am stuck with my masculine features and no option for bottom surgery also because of my issues.  I dress feminine, I feel feminine, I act feminine, and I wear a wig. With my wig I could possibly be passable.  But obviously I don't want to work out or swim with my wig on.

2) I want to be able to use the pool.  The access to the pool is through the locker rooms.  The gender neutral bathroom is on the other side of the gym.  The last thing I want to do is have to go walking across the entire gym, in a swimsuit just to get to the pool or in a wet swim suit, tracking water all over the place.

3) I've already received some pretty un-approving looks while changing in the men's locker room and do not feel safe in there.  At the same time, I do not want to cause a ruckus  in the women's locker room or make anyone feel uncomfortable.  It just seems like an all around lose lose lose situation when all I want to do is change, work out, shower, and get dressed.  Any advise is appreciated!

Hi Baily Rose

Welcome to Susan's

I guess finding a private space may be difficult and you may not be able to eliminate the issue but being in a swimsuit walking past many people is not a great option then covering up may be your only other option.Please feel free to drop by our Introduction Forum and tell us a little more about yourself.   


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[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place Bailey_Rose. Something for you to consider is using the private bathroom but bringing a bathrobe to wear while you are in your suit. If I were doing it, I would look for a bathrobe with a length of about mid thigh as it would be both sexy and modest at the same time.

[JoanneB]

My wife an avid swimmer, had no issues with the pool at a Brooklyn 'Y' when she was pre-op... back in the age of dinosaurs. She did pass on the showering naked part though  . Just a rinse before or after in her one-piece

[Julia1996]

I only got to the end of my first visit before my gender was challenged. It was not a fun experience.

See https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=188177.0

I'm sorry that happened to you. That's beyond messed up! That's the same as saying she needs to look between your legs before you can join. You should have told her you needed to look between her legs before you consider joining her facility . Do they have a vag inspector who checks every woman who joins?  Why not have peen police who check every woman for a peen who goes into a public ladies room. Maybe make it really simple and make trans people wear a scarlet T. Stuff like this makes me so mad.

Sydney,  you totally have no reason to be ashamed. You have as much right to use the female locker room as any woman.

Nobody should ever expose themselves in any way in a female locker room until SRS is done. I can't imagine the CF if someone saw a peen in there. I wouldn't doubt the police would be called. If you can prove your trans and having medical treatment I doubt the charge of indecent exposure would stick. But, how many of us carry Drs letters around with us? If the police got involved and the cop is transphobic or a dick you might even get arrested.  I'm sure it would make the local news . I know working out makes you sweat but even so don't shower there. Wait till you get home. It's better to smell like an ->-bleeped-<-'s armpit then to risk what could happen .
Julia

[Bailey_Rose]

Well, it's been a little while since I've been in here. and there are a few updates, probably the most significant and most heartbreaking is that I have consulted with about three different endocrinologists,  They all say the same thing.  Because of my medical conditions, I am already at risk for heart disease, heart attack, strokes, blood clots, etc......HRT could potentially aggravate these situations and turn them into life threatening complications.  At best, the patch would be the best option, but there is still the chance that my conditions could worsen from it.  None of them are willing to see me through HRT.  Additionally, in regards to SRS surgery, I am not able to heal as fast.  I am also more susceptible to infections.  Because of the blood vessel work involved in SRS surgery, there is a MAJOR risk (more than a normal healthy person), of a whole host of complications.  So I guess from now on I am just a more glorified cross dresser.  🙁
On the flip side of things, because I do dress fem clothes, breast forms, wigs, shoes) I am fairly passable I think.  That said, I took the giant leap and just said, SCREW IT!  I utilized the females locker rooms and showers and have been doing so for the last month.  I am EXTREMELY careful not to inadvertently expose myself while changing, I keep my eyes on the ground or in an opposite direction so as to not appear as if I am just there for a peep show.  When I shower, I take my swim suit off in the shower, shower, dry off, put on my underwear, wrap myself in my towel, go back to my locker and continue getting dressed.  In the beginning I had one lady move away from me when I sat down, But on a few occasions I've actually been complimented on my looks (my legs really), one young lady thanked me for my military service, and one lady even took the time to ask me if I had a female name, and if I preferred to be called that or my male name, and asked if I preferred he or she!  Only once was there a slight issue earlier this week, when a lady asked me if I was allowed to be in the women's locker room.  Even though I was clearly in a women's once piece swimsuit!  But as far as the gym, things are good.  I haven't heard of any complaints against me being in there. So for now, as sad as I am about of seemingly now non existent transition, at least I know that for now there is a place I can go to work out and not be hassled.